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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2018 14:36:25 GMT -7
My daughter came home on Tuesday. Little sweetheart! I'm so glad to have her home! It takes some of my mind off H, with whom I have another counseling session tomorrow.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2018 17:31:08 GMT -7
I am glad your daughter is home. I will continue to pray for her mental health.
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2018 18:56:47 GMT -7
For God's sake, please help me. My husband moved back in on May 5th on the advice of our counselor. In general it's been better, but tonight I want to die (I'm not going to, so everyone can relax about that). And please spare me any insights into his behavior. I understand about that and I know what it means. Its just that I'm so hurt. I don't think we'll ever be on the same page about major things that have happened between us. And if we're not on the same page about those things...I mean these are the core issues. They are so major. God help!
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2018 20:30:58 GMT -7
Ok, he says he takes back what he said and admits that what he has done was cheating. He better mean that.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2018 7:06:55 GMT -7
I am sorry I am just reading this. Been sick.
If you aren't ready to have your husband home, then tell him so and have him move out again. Just because your counselor advised this doesn't mean you are ready for it. You are dealing with a lot right now and may not be ready to take on the added stress of having him in the home and that is ok.
I am praying for you hon.
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2018 8:33:02 GMT -7
Sounds like he is gaslighting. Telling you one thing. Then taking it back. Call him on the carpet for it. Let him know you are not going to tolerate it. Make no gaslighting a hard boundary for staying in the home. If he can't stop, then he goes. You are dealing with enough with having to put up with this.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2018 20:32:35 GMT -7
God help me because we argued so loudly tonight that one of our neighbors called the police. Nothing physical happened tonight unless you count me throwing the remote at the tv in frustration. The police were nice too. It just sucks to now be the building trash on top of everything else. It wasn't even P we argued about. Sigh.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2018 5:11:49 GMT -7
Hon, when you get that angry it's time to step back and get a hold of your emotions. Get out of the house for awhile to cool down. That kind of argument doesn't allow for any resolution to the issue. It just causes further resentment and hurt. I know what it's like. Growing up anger was the safe emotion for me and I still fight against it taking over to this day. I have to leave the room or get out of the house and pray to get myself under control. Then I come back and try to have a civil conversation with the person.
Hugs and prayers sweetheart.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2018 5:52:44 GMT -7
You're right, but I'm at a loss about how to get that space right now. He was supposed to go away this weekend, but he's not now.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2018 13:33:00 GMT -7
Make your need for space when an argument gets heated a boundary. You can tell him when you leave a room during an argument to give you space and time. Or come up with a phrase that will let him know he needs to give you space during an argument.
For me, I just come out and say it. "I need space to cool down. I'll talk about this once I am not angry." Then I leave the room or house.
Pray about it. God will give you a good solution for your situation. I am praying for you.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2018 14:58:41 GMT -7
Looks like my husband's problem is that he is on the autism spectrum, which I don't think is treatable much in adults. It's been a theory I've had for a while, but my in-laws just confirmed it a little more than a week ago after H threw a temper tantrum and stormed out of a dinner at their house. They were so matter of fact about it. Like "Oh yeah, he's definitely autistic and was doing better with it a few years ago..." I wonder if they didn't tell me on purpose or if they even know what that means.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2018 20:48:33 GMT -7
I am sorry you have gotten that type of news. I don't know much about autism. I love researching this kind of thing. Would you like me to link you what I find?
I am praying for you hon.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2018 14:39:33 GMT -7
Thanks, Amy. I'm not about to turn down any offers for help, so that'd be great. I'm learning about it from everywhere I can. It explains quite a lot, but there's still so much to learn.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2018 20:19:41 GMT -7
I think I've finally had it with my GDH. I'm sorry he's got developmental delays. But I didn't cause them nor did I know about them before we were married. He walks in tonight and starts berating me for some stupid banking mistake he made (note, we have separate bank accounts. It's not any purchase I made.) then he calls me a jerk for turning out the hall light after he left the hallway. All this was done loudly in earshot of my depressed daughter who has panic attacks when we fight. The last thing he said to me tonight is how all the problems in our marriage are because I won't submit and how "P Jason told me that" (I don't believe that BS for a second, but it's a typical statement from him). I thinking had enough abuse. I don't think anyone could seriously accuse me of not working hard on this marriage or giving him a million chances. Nobody should have to out up with this.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 9:58:58 GMT -7
Kelly I am sorry hon. Hugs sweetie. I feel your frustration, hurt and anger. I grew up with a father that acted like that. You have worked hard at your marriage. Only you can decide where to go from here. God hates divorce but He also hates abuse and infidelity. Remember that no matter what you decide, God loves you and that will not change. He will be with you.
I did do some searching on autism but I haven't found anything on adults with autism. So far it's just been geared toward children.
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