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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2016 15:59:12 GMT -7
Praying you can refocus  |
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Jul 21, 2016 1:52:42 GMT -7
Hello everyone, I thought I should check in again. Last week, I left the US and returned to Europe for good. I'm now adjusting myself to my previous lifestyle back in the city. I miss country living and gardening, as well as the spiritual atmosphere I had back there, but I pray that the Lord will help me and that He will use me effectively in my new sphere of influence.
As for the temptations to slip back into MO, they are still very real. I keep reading comments from Christian counselors that share the opinion that it's ok to do it as long as you don't fantasize; just in order to get relief from your urges. But I think that is so wrong. God had not intended sex as an activity for one person only - He created it for mutual enjoyment between a man and a woman - period. The thing is that Satan uses these people who rationalize this, and then you remember this Christian counselor saying that it would be ok without fantasizing, and so you justify your actiosn. Been there, done that.
This morning, it was particularly difficult again, as it was so hot last night (in Europe, it's uncommon to have A/C in your home), and so I took of my pyjama. Well, waking up undressed makes it doubly hard for me in the morning not having anybody to cuddle up with and to be touched. I could have easily started another session with myself. But one of the things that are keeping me from doing it right now is the fact that I'm supposed to give a devotional talk at our camp meeting in 3 weeks - plus I was asked at my local church to give a sermon in September. But if I would be in the habit of masturbating right now, I wouldn't be a pure vessel and would feel unworthy of presenting whatever message. So even though I have not really chosen to speak at these occasions, it really helps now to abstain.
Of course the fact that I have absolutely no prospects to get married right now, makes it very hard for me. In my circle of acquaintances, there are quite a few young women who have married or are going to marry wonderful husbands. All these girls could be my daughters. Thus, I can't help but feeling a bit left out. I don't really understand God's ways, but I realise that I have to accept whatever He has or has not for me right now. It hasn't been an easy journey. Please continue to pray for me.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 21, 2016 8:22:17 GMT -7
Good to see you on and keep on holding on.
Europe? Where at.
And I couldn't agree more when it comes to counselors.
As Christians, Biblical y speaking, we are told to seek council.
The problem is; who's counsel?
This is the only time where we are to seek counsel that I was able to find where man's counsel was sot.
Pro 24:6 For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory. (NASB)
Otherwise, we are to seek God's guidance.
Pro 11:14 Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory. (NASB)
Pro 15:22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.
Pro 15:23 A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!
Pro 15:24 The path of life leads upward for the wise That he may keep away from Sheol below. (NASB)
So, just how do we view Councilors?
Blessings my friend.
Virgil
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2016 10:37:42 GMT -7
Hi Dani! So glad to see you posting again hon. I am so glad you see what masturbation without fantasizing truly is. It is a way to keep you in bondage and make sexual immortality look ok. The bible tells you what is true and right and you are correct in your views about what God intended sex for.
I will continue to pray for you. Stay close to God.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 23, 2016 4:04:10 GMT -7
Hello everyone, I thought I should check in again. Last week, I left the US and returned to Europe for good. I'm now adjusting myself to my previous lifestyle back in the city. I miss country living and gardening, as well as the spiritual atmosphere I had back there, but I pray that the Lord will help me and that He will use me effectively in my new sphere of influence. As for the temptations to slip back into MO, they are still very real. I keep reading comments from Christian counselors that share the opinion that it's OK to do it as long as you don't fantasize; just in order to get relief from your urges. But I think that is so wrong. God had not intended sex as an activity for one person only - He created it for mutual enjoyment between a man and a woman - period. The thing is that Satan uses these people who rationalize this, and then you remember this Christian counselor saying that it would be OK without fantasizing, and so you justify your actions. Been there, done that. These comments from supposed Christian Counselors are just another reason why we are to test the spirits.
1Jn_4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. NASB
The sad thing in the church today is so much false teachings are out there and being passed on as if it is from God. And the sad thing is Pentecostal teachers are at the forefront in this. And interpreting scripture by our feelings and emotions is always dangerous ground. And as for Christian counseling; it comes from secular teachings couched in Biblical terms.
(Act 17:11 Now these were more noble-minded[The Bereans] than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.)NASB
This morning, it was particularly difficult again, as it was so hot last night (in Europe, it's uncommon to have A/C in your home), and so I took off my pajama. Well, waking up undressed makes it doubly hard for me in the morning not having anybody to cuddle up with and to be touched. I could have easily started another session with myself. But one of the things that are keeping me from doing it right now is the fact that I'm supposed to give a devotional talk at our camp meeting in 3 weeks - plus I was asked at my local church to give a sermon in September. But if I would be in the habit of masturbating right now, I wouldn't be a pure vessel and would feel unworthy of presenting whatever message. So even though I have not really chosen to speak at these occasions, it really helps now to abstain. God does provide a way of escape the sin that so easily entangles us.
1Co_10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.NASB.
Of course the fact that I have absolutely no prospects to get married right now, makes it very hard for me. In my circle of acquaintances, there are quite a few young women who have married or are going to marry wonderful husbands. All these girls could be my daughters. Thus, I can't help but feeling a bit left out. I don't really understand God's ways, but I realize that I have to accept whatever He has or has not for me right now. It hasn't been an easy journey. Please continue to pray for me. We will.
Virgil |
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Jul 24, 2016 10:31:41 GMT -7
Hello again everyone, things haven't been easy, but the Lord is helping me. Yesterday while I was at church listnening to the sermon, my mind wandered (as it unfortunately does quite often) and I had impure thoughts. Once again, I put all my sexual cravings into my fantasy. Then, during the day, I was able to distract myself, as we were visiting a church member who just had surgery. When I finally went to bed in the evening, I had this desire for nakedness. So I took off my pajama again, although it was not too hot. I knew I was playing with fire, and my cravings were almost unbearable (it's this time of the month...). If I was not to give these talks at the camp meeting and at church, I think I would have ended up with another round of MO. But I just held on tight to my pillows; embracing my imaginary husband.
So this really keeps me from doing it right now. But how shall I handle these situations after my speaking appointments? Well, I guess I need to fight on. This morning, I was ok. I got up from bed right away - without being tempted. So the urge goes away if I just hang in there...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2016 10:54:13 GMT -7
Good for you Daniela.
Phil 4 v8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Jul 26, 2016 5:34:19 GMT -7
Hi Braveheart, I should have really heeded the verse you quoted. I'm utterly ashamed, as I have been browsing through YouTube again. And it started so harmless. I was just wanting to find some material that could help me in overcoming lust and masturbation. But if you search there and put things like "how to overcome female masturbation" or "how to kick the habit of..." there will certainly come up at least one video that teaches you the opposite. So I finally gave in to the temptation to klick myself through the wrong stuff. My heart beat and my breathing rate went up right at the first video. I knew I was playing with fire, yet I continued clicking. My lunch was ready, but I wasn't interested in eating. I just gave in to the lower nature. And what did I gain? Nothing - I only carry more baggage now - baggage of images I won't be able to delete from my mind anymore. At least I didn't end up pleasuring myself. But I feel horny now. I've been eating lunch now - that's at least some distraction. Oh Lord, please help me!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2016 6:02:06 GMT -7
Dani, I love you. please remember that as I continue with this post.
What are you doing? You admit to "playing with fire" and yet continue to do so. So of course you gave in. Choose! Who do you love more? God or Satan? God or your selfish desires? It's time for you to make that decision and stop this vicious cycle. Stop hating yourself and realize who you are in Christ. You are worth the hard work and effort this decision will take. God thinks you are worth it.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 26, 2016 6:53:30 GMT -7
Hello again everyone, things haven't been easy, but the Lord is helping me. Yesterday while I was at church listnening to the sermon, my mind wandered (as it unfortunately does quite often) and I had impure thoughts. Once again, I put all my sexual cravings into my fantasy. Then, during the day, I was able to distract myself, as we were visiting a church member who just had surgery. When I finally went to bed in the evening, I had this desire for nakedness. So I took off my pajama again, although it was not too hot. I knew I was playing with fire, and my cravings were almost unbearable (it's this time of the month...). If I was not to give these talks at the camp meeting and at church, I think I would have ended up with another round of MO. But I just held on tight to my pillows; embracing my imaginary husband. So this really keeps me from doing it right now. But how shall I handle these situations after my speaking appointments? Well, I guess I need to fight on. This morning, I was ok. I got up from bed right away - without being tempted. So the urge goes away if I just hang in there...
What is going on during the sermon that causes your mind to wander?
I've struggled with fantasies myself as far back as I can remember.
And I have noticed that something always precedes the start of a sexual fantasy.
Here is a list of; TEMPTATION VERSES' to meditate on.
Mat_6:13 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.]'
Mat_26:41 "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Mar_14:38 "Keep watching and praying that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Luk_8:13 "Those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away.
Luk_11:4 'And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.'"
Luk_22:40 When He arrived at the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."
Luk_22:46 and said to them, "Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not enter into temptation."
1Co_10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
1Ti_6:9 But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.
2Pe_2:9 then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment for the day of judgment, (NASB)
And here are four sermons you might like to listen to, to gain some incite to help you on your war going on inside your flesh.
I know the more I listen to them, I get a little better understanding on how to combat my flesh.
.Lessons Learned In The Temptation of Jesus - Dr Charles Stanley.
.Responding To Temptation Wisely - Dr Charles Stanley .
.Dealing With Temptation Wisely - Dr Charles Stanley.
.Taking Control of Our Thoughts– Dr. Charles Stanley .
Enjoy Daniela.
Virgil
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2016 8:27:35 GMT -7
Hi Dani. It's a tough road back once you get that triggered. The brain gets flooded and foggy. I have found again that focusing on what you want to stop rather than what God created us to do only leads to more failure. Just move past this failure by looking at what is important to God and His purpose for you today, Get back up and move on. Forget about the failure and don't allow guilt and shame to keep you from doing what truly brings you joy. God still loves you and understands the battle you are in. Focus on Him and again whatever is pure etc. I will be praying for you.
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 26, 2016 9:58:34 GMT -7
Hi Braveheart, I should have really heeded the verse you quoted. I'm utterly ashamed, as I have been browsing through YouTube again. And it started so harmless. I was just wanting to find some material that could help me in overcoming lust and masturbation. But if you search there and put things like "how to overcome female masturbation" or "how to kick the habit of..." there will certainly come up at least one video that teaches you the opposite. So I finally gave in to the temptation to klick myself through the wrong stuff. My heart beat and my breathing rate went up right at the first video. I knew I was playing with fire, yet I continued clicking. My lunch was ready, but I wasn't interested in eating. I just gave in to the lower nature. And what did I gain? Nothing - I only carry more baggage now - baggage of images I won't be able to delete from my mind anymore. At least I didn't end up pleasuring myself. But I feel horny now. I've been eating lunch now - that's at least some distraction. Oh Lord, please help me!
Jas 1:13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.
Jas 1:14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
Jas 1:15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.
Jas 1:16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.NASB
Sounds about like me when tempted, off I run following my flesh instead of chasing after the out God has placed before me.
Blessings my friend.
Virgil.
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Jul 28, 2016 1:08:39 GMT -7
Hi All, thank you for your responses and all your encouragement. Yesterday, I treated myself and went to a thermal bath in a nearby city in Germany. It was very relaxing. But I stimulated myself at a water jet. I know that was not very smart. It's indeed hard to get refocused once this has been triggered. What to do with this tension? I'm of course disappointed with myself that I have to start at zero again.
@amy: I don't know if you can say we love Satan if we fall back into these habits, but it definitely means that we love sin more than obeying God, and Satan is the embodiment of sin. The problem is that the enemy would never offer us something that does not feel good!
@virgil: There was nothing in particular that triggered my mind wandering off during that sermon. The issue is that if a speaker doesn't have pathos, if he doesn't captivate me by the way he presents the message, my mind starts wandering very easily, no matter how good the sharing is. But thank you for the sermon links you pasted. I started watching one of them already.
In the devotional talk that I'm going to share at camp meeting in two weeks, I'm going to speak about Isaiah 43:18-19:
"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert."
I'm going to share how these verses spoke to me personally while I was still in the US and anticipating to return to my secular workplace and life in the big city again, and how I felt apprehensive, and how I perceived this promise applying to me personally. Now, as I've been struggling with this darling sin of mine again, this text even becomes more meaningful to me. Yes, I should not remember the former things. Like Paul I can leave my past life behind and go forward in Christ's strength! May He help me and all of us to be pure vessels in His service!
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teetop
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Post by teetop on Jul 29, 2016 8:40:59 GMT -7
.How Can I Find Forgiveness?.
I don't know if you can pull this one up Daniela as it is from Light Source. Though you will probably have to sign-up for the site.
I have no place to talk, as I too struggle constantly with desire, lust and fantasies all the time. And though my sin's are always before me, I still don't fight enough against these sins to win the battle. Words are easy all the while the actions tell a different story.
You are planning ahead, but I'm going to ask why have you chosen these two verses out of context and applied them to your-self? That is a very dangerous thing to do with God's word, you know.
I too keep going back into my old habits and find myself without excuse. The true question is: Have I truly turned to Christ Jesus and truly repented of my sin's? And my answer has to be NO!
Isa_1:14 "I hate your new moon festivals and your appointed feasts, They have become a burden to Me; I am weary of bearing them.
Isa_61:8 For I, the LORD, love justice, I hate robbery in the burnt offering; And I will faithfully give them their recompense And make an everlasting covenant with them.
Jer_44:4 'Yet I sent you all My servants the prophets, again and again, saying, "Oh, do not do this abominable thing which I hate."
Amo_5:21 "I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies.
Zec_8:17 'Also let none of you devise evil in your heart against another, and do not love perjury; for all these are what I hate,' declares the LORD."
Mal_2:16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
I decided to load from the NASB the verses where God has declared what He hates.
Yet let me share some other verses that should hit home a lot more.
Those who wont inter into the Kingdom of God.
1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
Gal 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,
Gal 5:21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Eph 5:3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
Eph 5:4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Eph 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
Eph 5:8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
Rev 21:8 "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
Rev 22:15 Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying.
If you have a Strong's Exhaustive Concordance; you can check out each word as I do and if your anything like me fear of the Lord reveals itself.
Another verse that kept eating at me.
Mat_16:26 "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mar_8:36 "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?
Just a few things to think on and examine ourselves.
And you may ask, what does this have to do with 'Forgiveness'?
Much; like King David when he was confronted with his sin's.
Psa_51:1-19
Few psalms have found as much use as this one among the saints of all ages, a fact which bears witness to the spiritual needs of God’s people. Psa_51:1-19 stands as a paradigm of prayers for forgiveness of sins. Its superscription ascribes the occasion to David’s sin of adultery with Bathsheba (2Sa_11:1-27), an incident in which David broke several of the Ten Commandments. Believers have been comforted by the fact that since David’s sins were forgiven theirs can be too.
Poetry often develops the intensity of a moment. Such a moment with David came when he, having been confronted with his sin, confessed it (2Sa_12:13). Because this psalm deals only with confession and has no word of the forgiveness (which did follow immediately in the historical narrative, 2Sa_12:13), this psalm must be understood as a full meditation on the importance of confession. After a believer sins, he must obtain forgiveness if he is to enjoy full participation in the service of the Lord.
The message of this psalm is that the vilest offender among God’s people can appeal to God for forgiveness, for moral restoration, and for the resumption of a joyful life of fellowship and service, if he comes with a broken spirit and bases his appeal on God’s compassion and grace.
A. Introductory prayer (Psa_51:1-2)
David appealed to God’s love and compassion as he petitioned the Lord to forgive him by grace and cleanse him from sin.
God’s attributes of unfailing love (ḥeseḏ) for His servant and His compassion for the helpless, were the basis for David’s appeal for mercy. Even the verb have mercy was a prayer for God to act in accord with His nature. It is also a recognition that David did not deserve forgiveness. God’s forgiveness is by His grace alone.
The three verbs David employed here are figurative. Blot out implies a comparison with human records that can be erased; wash away (kāḇas) compares forgiveness with washing clothing (often viewed as an extension of a person), and cleanse is drawn from the liturgical ceremonial law in which one might be purified for temple participation. These requests (cf. Psa_51:7, Psa_51:9) stressed David’s desire for God’s total forgiveness of his transgressions… iniquity, and sin.(The Bible Knowledge Commentary) Verses keyed to Bible Gateway .
Virgil
Hi All, thank you for your responses and all your encouragement. Yesterday, I treated myself and went to a thermal bath in a nearby city in Germany. It was very relaxing. But I stimulated myself at a water jet. I know that was not very smart. It's indeed hard to get refocused once this has been triggered. What to do with this tension? I'm of course disappointed with myself that I have to start at zero again. @amy: I don't know if you can say we love Satan if we fall back into these habits, but it definitely means that we love sin more than obeying God, and Satan is the embodiment of sin. The problem is that the enemy would never offer us something that does not feel good! @virgil: There was nothing in particular that triggered my mind wandering off during that sermon. The issue is that if a speaker doesn't have pathos, if he doesn't captivate me by the way he presents the message, my mind starts wandering very easily, no matter how good the sharing is. But thank you for the sermon links you pasted. I started watching one of them already. In the devotional talk that I'm going to share at camp meeting in two weeks, I'm going to speak about Isaiah 43:18-19: "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." I'm going to share how these verses spoke to me personally while I was still in the US and anticipating to return to my secular workplace and life in the big city again, and how I felt apprehensive, and how I perceived this promise applying to me personally. Now, as I've been struggling with this darling sin of mine again, this text even becomes more meaningful to me. Yes, I should not remember the former things. Like Paul I can leave my past life behind and go forward in Christ's strength! May He help me and all of us to be pure vessels in His service!
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Daniela
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Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Jul 29, 2016 9:07:06 GMT -7
Hi Virgil, I'm not going to take these two verses out of context. I'm going to talk about the situation the people of Israel have found themselves in during this particular time in history, and I'm also going to include other verses of this chapter. Then I'm going to apply it to my life and to the lives of those listening.
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