Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on May 23, 2016 7:17:21 GMT -7
My fantasies are driving me nuts. I know I'm not supposed to imagine having sex with my future husband, but my mind keeps craving for these thoughts. As I was imagining those wonderful things I cannot have at this point, I was tempted to go on a website I found a number of years ago, which is designed by a Christian couple. It's mainly made for married couples, and it basically gives advice how to boost their sex lives. But fortunately, there is an internet filter where I'm at right now, so there is no way for me to get on this website right now. But I could still find some things on YouTube if I wanted. Oh Lord, please help me to stay sober!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2016 7:41:48 GMT -7
Our Heavenly, Righteous, Loving Father, Dani needs your strength, wisdom and love right now. Wrap her up in these and let her know that you are there with her. Let her see the true freedom You and her are working towards in her life. Let her feel Your presence abiding in her. Give her hope in the end results. Draw her closer to You. In our Lord and Savior's name Jesus Christ I ask. Amen.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2016 10:39:03 GMT -7
Hi Daniela, I'm sorry you are facing so much temptation. I have tried so many different resources to get some freedom and peace. This teaching has recently helped me very much. Have a look. www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyHWpmL7dvU
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on May 23, 2016 12:41:16 GMT -7
Thank you Amy for this beautiful prayer - and thank you Braveheart for the link; I will watch it.
Unfortunately, this urge is not going away so easily. I've been so tempted to engage into self-pleasure again - and I'm aware that God would not hold me up me from doing it. I just took a cold shower, and I even applied some cold water directly to my private parts, but these cravings are still there. If I had evidence that it's ok with God to masturbate from time to time, I would not hesitate to give myself this much needed release right now. Oh my Lord, please help me!
I'm going to prepare the morning worship for the lifestyle guests now, and then I'm going to babysit a little girl for a couple of hours. This will give me some distraction!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2016 13:56:08 GMT -7
I hope it helps. There are several more sessions on youtube and he also has a website with more teachings.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 6:07:36 GMT -7
Hi Daniela. How are things today?
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on May 24, 2016 7:48:37 GMT -7
Hi All, I'm sorry to let you know that I just did it again. I couldn't bear the tension any longer. There was no fantasizing whatsoever, but I felt I really needed release. Of course, physically I'm feeling better now, but I know all too well that this is only the kick for the moment; and I already feel the cravings coming back with a vengeance. Unfortunately, if I fall once, it makes it all too easy to slip a second and third time. I just asked the Lord to forgive me and to help me not to fall again. I know He can do it in me if I cooperate. Please pray for me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 11:02:35 GMT -7
ok Daniela sorry to hear that. You said again? Try not to binge I know how hard it is once you give in. I will continbue to pray. I have been finding this week difficult myself. His grace is amazing. He that is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on May 27, 2016 6:00:23 GMT -7
Well, I meant I did it again after 7 months of sobriety. But usually, once I slip, I tend to do it multiple times within a short time - and on Tuesday it was no exception. But I've been on my period since Wednesday, so this has really helped to curb the temptation. However, this morning I was so much longing again to be touched and kissed... But I really want to stay sober, and I pray for strength and guidance!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2016 10:14:43 GMT -7
I hope you have been overcoming the temptations. 7 months is quite an accomplishment. You can do it.
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Jun 3, 2016 7:20:15 GMT -7
Thank you - with the Lord's help I've been staying away from laying hands on myself. I have felt inclined though, but I would always talk to the Lord about it. My only waakness are these impure thoughts. It's hard not to imagine these wonderful things I've been missing out, but I pray to the Lord to purify my mind.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2016 9:36:07 GMT -7
Dani, when the thoughts come, turn your mind onto something else. Start singing a worship song or quote scripture. Do a hobby that will focus your mind on something else. Still praying for you hon.
Edited: games work great too...crosswords, riddles, suduko, trivia...anything that will get your mind concentrating on something else.
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Jun 10, 2016 7:00:45 GMT -7
Hello everybody, I slipped once more last weekend, but the Lord has helped me to stay strong throughout this week. Of course this throbbing is still there, which sometimes makes this craving to give myself at least some temporary relief unbearable. But I realize that I have a choice. I do not have to fall back into the same habit over and over again. I read this wonderful quote in the book "Patriarchs and Prophets" by Ellen G. White:
"It is not God’s purpose to coerce the will. Man was created a free moral agent. Like the inhabitants of all other worlds, he must be subjected to the test of obedience; but he is never brought into such a position that yielding to evil becomes a matter of necessity. No temptation or trial is permitted to come to him which he is unable to resist. God made such ample provision that man need never have been defeated in the conflict with Satan." (PP 331,332)
My weak point are still these sexual fantasies though. Lately, the object of my imaginations has been this young man who recently showed interest in entering in a courtship with me (but of whom I'm sure he wouldn't be the right one for me). I guess it always has to be someone to fill the void. It's still very hard for me to live without physical intimacy, but the Lord knows why He is allowing this in my life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2016 7:27:20 GMT -7
Hi Daniela. How are you doing?
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Jun 17, 2016 12:47:24 GMT -7
Thank you for checking on me braveheart. With the Lord's help, I'm doing well, and by His grace, I've resisted the temptation to MO again until now. However, I just went through another battle - and it's not quite finished I guess. I decided to get a sunbath this afternoon. Undressed - for one part because of the heat, and also because the production of Vitamin D is much more efficient if you have as little clothes on you as possible. I must admit that I was looking forward to exposing myself (although I was positive that nobody would see me where I was). On the other hand, I knew I was somehow playing with fire, since this is exactly how I slipped in the first place about three weeks ago. So the urge came, and I started praying: "O Lord, I would really like to stimulate myself, and I know you would not hinder me from doing it. Please help me!" I figured that if I apply some rough friction with a towel directly to my private area, it helps to curb the urge (sorry for being graphic). However, it didn't bring about the desired effect. Nevertheless, I've been able to distract myself. I will go home now and try some cold compresses. Thank you for all who have been praying for me!
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