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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2015 17:56:36 GMT -7
Daniela, we all have a brokenness in us...if we didn't, we wouldn't be sinners in need of Christ's redeeming sacrifice. Whether or not your brokenness lies in your past relationship or not is subject to discussion between you and the Lord. I also was abused and yes I have forgiven and healed from it however, what I learned and how I relate to men and my sexuality all stem from that time of my life. I am aware of it and combat those tendencies with God's help. But if I am not careful, those tendencies come forward in how I deal with others, how I act out sexually, and my thought patterns...i.e. selfishness. Your statement about a man being able to keep up with you...what I read in that was "no one can satisfy me as well as I can." With that attitude, no man God sends your way has a chance. Is that fair to your future husband? Selfishness is something that is not often mentioned with this addiction but it is a main driving force. Something for you to think on.
Keep moving forward hon. I love you as a sister so if I sounded harsh, please forgive me.
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Daniela
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Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Sept 9, 2015 1:40:22 GMT -7
Oh no, you don't sound harsh Amy! The fact that I tend to worry about whether my future husband will be able to satisfy my sexual desire might indeed be selfish, since marital sex is all about pleasing the other person after all. But whatever I did in the past in terms of self-sex, be it with toys, with erotica or however, it never ever fully satisfied me. In fact, I'm thankful that the Lord made it this way that only sex with a partner can completely satisfy us, otherwisee it would be a mess! And I actually came to the conclusion that I don't need to worry about the marital sex life that I will hopefully experience some day, because I think pleasing my future husband will be so satisfying for me that I may not even feel the desire to engage in self-pleasure in order to compensate for a possible lack of frequency.
At any rate, we all need to find a good replacement for self-medication (be it MO, or food, or whatever), and I think the best is to become engaged in active service for the Lord. There is nothing more fulfilling out there.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2015 20:26:52 GMT -7
Hope that things have settled down for you. Are you back in the States yet? Be righteous in all that you do.
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Daniela
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Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Sept 13, 2015 15:48:25 GMT -7
Yeah, I'm back to the States since Friday. I got chilled the night before I left Europe and have a pretty bad cold now. That's not pleasant, however my sex drive is at its lowest point right now - so no temptation issues :-). Of course this is not going to last forever, but soon I will be back at the place where I'm currently volunteering and since it is such a fulfilling task to minister unto people, it will help me to stay out of trouble. Of course the fact that I have absolutely no idea whether there will be a husband for me in the picture anytime soon, still tends to unsettle me, but I'm learning to let go and leave everything completely up to the Lord. After all, He knows my age, He knows my address, and He knows who would be the best suitable partner for me. Sometimes, it's only hard to submit to His timing...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2015 9:19:45 GMT -7
Dani, just checking in on you hon. How is everything going?
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Daniela
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Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Sept 20, 2015 9:48:05 GMT -7
Thanks Amy! I just sent you a personal message. I'm grateful that the Lord is helping me with regards to temptation - although I'm feeling better physically, so in principle, the drive is back. However, I'm keeping busy and will continue to do so in the coming weeks.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2015 8:09:05 GMT -7
Glad to see you're feeling better physically. Temptation is always going to be there. Don't always understand why myself, but I've got to deal with it. As George Bush said, "Just stay the course! Stay the course!"
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2015 18:41:17 GMT -7
How are things going? I bombed out this week and gave in several times. Hope your week has been better than mine.
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Daniela
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Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Sept 27, 2015 13:16:37 GMT -7
Thanks for checking on me Jonathan! Sorry you couldn't resist, but keep on keeping on. The Lord will help you to be an overcomer! I've been doing fine by God's grace. There were only a few moments when I felt this craving, but it hasn't been bad at all. I still need to work on the fantasy part though, however since there is nobody I'm interested in right now, this has become much better as well. Today, we are starting a busy session in our lifestyle center and especially in the first few days I'll be running up and down. So that will help further to stay out of trouble!
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Daniela
Member
Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Oct 5, 2015 12:18:12 GMT -7
Friends, I've acted out again the last two nights. I'm ashamed and shocked about myself. Furthermore, I think about sex all the time. It's this time of the year I think. Late summer/autumn somehow has an influence on our hormones. Well, of course I can't give the blame on the season! I think I know part of the reason why I acted out and it disconcerts me. Please pray for me that I will stay strong tonight. I'm extremely busy and sleep depraved, and this was the trigger. Lord please help me!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2015 13:10:02 GMT -7
Dani, hon You haven't contacted me in awhile. I will email you my phone number. You need to call me or email me when you want to act out. Accountability partners are only good when you use them.
I have been studying 1 John. It is an amazing epistle and truly gets you to thinking about your heart, sin and the condition you are in. I would like you to not only read it but study and meditate on 1 John.
You need to realize that the feeling MB offers you is a shadow of the true feelings we can get by relying on God. Basically the feeling from MB is a dark stain where as relying on God is pure light.
You know, I woke up the other night and couldn't sleep until I prayed for you and John.
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Daniela
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Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Oct 5, 2015 14:50:34 GMT -7
Thank you so much Amy - this thought is very profound! The reason why I haven't called you is the fact that I'm totally overtired and sleep-deprived right now. Even here at work it's really hard for me to concentrate and to keep up a longer conversation with anybody. But I will definitely call you once I'm better!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2015 16:46:40 GMT -7
Dani hon, I have a favor to ask of you. Some of your wording in your posts are triggering to others so I was hoping you could keep to the facts and not go into detail about how you feel about it. That is something you can discuss with me in a private email or on the phone. All porn/MB addicts know what you are feeling...they know about the need and what it feels like, so it isn't necessary to voice it on here. Just say that you have been MBing and need prayer. Leave it at that. Again you can tell me these things in private because you do need to talk about them. I hope I didn't offend you.
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Daniela
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Posts: 74
Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Oct 7, 2015 23:15:53 GMT -7
Thank you Amy. This is indeed my weakness that I use these anonymous places to express things I don't dare to express to anybody I know in person. I'm sorry guys if this has been too much for you! I've already started editing some of my posts. I will further look through them and make adjustments as necessary.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2015 2:52:53 GMT -7
I really appreciate that you changed this as I could not respond to your posts whilst the triggering was there. For me, as a man, it was the most appropriate step I could take whilst still allowing you the freedom to express yourself.
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