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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2015 4:51:03 GMT -7
Your fantasies as you say are your longing for intimacy and fulfillment. That is a very true need. The way we go about it is what is wrong. We should be looking for those needs in our relationship with God not in sex, porn, MB or others. God is the only way to get those needs met fully. Any other way or any other person won't work. If a person could meet those needs we all have then you wouldn't see married people struggling with this addiction. You have to come to the realization that only God can truly satisfy your needs...people are broken and cannot deliver the perfect intimacy, fulfillment and love we need and crave.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2015 10:59:45 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 10:51:44 GMT -7
20 days, that's a great job! Just work on one thing at a time. Going to God right away like you are is great. I'm so glad you're still posting on your thread here. I believe God will bless you and make you stronger each and every day.
I'm still praying for you too.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2015 23:05:34 GMT -7
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Aug 7, 2015 17:43:48 GMT -7
Thank you for all your encouragement. I'm counting day 26 now. I've been busy traveling and visiting friends lately, so I didn't have much time to get into trouble. I'm still hardly fantasizing, and I'm thankful that these thought are not haunting me as they used to. However, this craving is still there; and I still find myself wishing I could give myself some relief. But I want to remain strong. I'm getting ready for the camp meeting in Germany, hoping and praying for a blessing there.
@steve: I'm glad you like this quote from Steps to Christ. I recommend to read the whole book - it's been a great blessing to me! You may find it electronically on the internet.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2015 0:04:33 GMT -7
Daniela, there is a scientific study out that shows that the drug produced in the brain from PA and MB takes 90 days of sobriety to get out of the body. This drug causes some of the cravings you are experiencing. Unfortunately it doesn't cause all of them. You will probably always have to deal with cravings to some extent however to does get much easier with time. Stay strong and remember to turn to God when the cravings hit.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2015 0:04:40 GMT -7
Double post
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Aug 18, 2015 0:15:42 GMT -7
Today I'm celebrating 28 days of sobriety. I'm thankful that the cravings have been manageable - although there was a point last week when I would have really liked to give myself relief. But I was at the camp meeting and I was supposed to speak for this morning devotion. So this definitely held me back from defiling myself again. My talk was well-received, for which I was very thankful. Now I'm getting ready for my next trip. I'll be on a juice fast for the coming week and I look forward to this experience. I'm sure it will help me to clear my mind and to contemplate more on spiritual things. At the camp meeting, I've also committed to memorize two bible verses per week in the next two months.
The only issue right now is my fantasy world, which is still active from time to time. It's sometimes hard not to indulge in these wonderful imaginations to be intimate with my future husband - sigh!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2015 4:19:53 GMT -7
Congrats on 28 days of sobriety and I'm so proud of you!
My hubby was taught that over time as you stay sober each day, the desire to act out becomes less and less.
When do you find the fantasy desire hits you the strongest? For my hubby, it was always at night. So he put the entire Bible on his MP3 as well as music and he puts it in his ear all night long. I don't know how he sleeps like that LOL b/c I'm a light sleeper and having that in my ear would keep me up all. night. long.
I just prayed for you and I will keep praying for you. Mikes 100 Day Devotional is an excellent resource and hubby and I are reading it together. It has a Scripture each day and then a few paragraphs about fighting the addiction with the LORD's help and many of the things he went through getting sober.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 18, 2015 6:46:10 GMT -7
Congrats on being sober 28 days. As HS3 mentioned the longer you maintain sobriety the easy it will get. The first 90 days you are not only dealing with your fantasies but also the chemical your brain produces when you indulge. It takes 90 days for that chemical and the body's perceived need for it to get out of your system. Keep fighting sister.
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Daniela
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Occupation: Lifestyle Counselor
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Post by Daniela on Aug 19, 2015 0:24:08 GMT -7
Thank you Sisters for your encouragement and prayers! Actually, I realized I was already 35! I can't tell exactly when the fantasy desire hits the strongest. It's usually whenever I have time to think that I'm potentially tempted to indulge in these imaginations. And the desire to act out physically is usually stronger at certain times of the month (the days before my period and also the week leading to ovulation). It's tough, but I suppose when I'm married I also have to learn to control my urges.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2015 5:34:10 GMT -7
I can relate to your desire for intimacy. That desire was put there by God himself. Marriage and closeness are His design. I, you, and others messed that up by being selfish. I know it's hard to wait. But truly it is well worth it no matters what it takes. I've never heard of anyone saying that selfishness was better than unity. You have a big heart and strong convictions. Don't compromise on them. I enjoy your honesty (even if it's a little too much in the company of men reading it). Keep going strong and I hope your message is a big hit. The title sounds intriguing. Good luck with all of this. I'll be praying for your recovery. Please pray for mine.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2015 18:05:49 GMT -7
Keep going hon. Stay strong. You are right about the urge being stronger during certain times of the month. Women have fluctuating hormones to deal with. During ovulation and before our menses these hormones are stronger. There is much scientific evidence to support this. Also intercourse with a male before your menses eases the associated pms symptoms. Weird but factual. And many women can support that fact...me included.
Don't worry about getting too graphic here. John means well. I love him. He has much wisdom and solid advice. John doesn't understand this addiction from a woman's point of view. He is used to men having this addiction. Plus he is dealing with the addiction himself and is still young in his sobriety. John I hope what I said here didn't offend you. If it did, I am sorry no offense was intended. I highly respect you and love your posts.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2015 1:34:39 GMT -7
Congrats on your continued sobriety Daniela, good job.
And I ditto Amy and this is no offense to John at all. This is the section for women to have sexual addiction to open up about their struggles. And it's OK for John to post here, and I mean anything like that. He welcome to post anyway and I have enjoyed his posts already. I think he'll be an asset to this site.
I will be praying for you Daniela. How is your trip going? It must be so exciting to travel the world like that. What a great experience. You'll always have that once you get married and have children.
I said yesterday I needed to get away along for a break. This past year has been heck for me. But I've come to terms with some things the past few days that I'm going to share in the woman's thread.
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Daniela
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Post by Daniela on Aug 30, 2015 8:08:37 GMT -7
Hello All, I'm back from my Eastern Europe trip. It's been a blessed time, even though I had somehow hoped that I will meet a nice man during all my travels. But again, my hopes have been disappointed. In fact, there was one young man that I used to be interested in. He came to this Conference with his girlfriend. Observing them, I just asked myself "What does she have what I do not have?" Well, I guess it's just not meant to be with that guy. But who should it be then? Well, I pray that the Lord will help me to remain patient and make the best out of my singleness while waiting for the man I can serve Him best with.
So now I arrived at my parent's place where I'm going to stay for one week. It will be a potentially dangerous period, since I'm going to have lots of discretionary time here. Just about two hours ago, I decided to lie down since I had to travel so early this morning. I did have the desire to lay hands on myself, but I didn't give in. However, after waking up, just now, I searched in YouTube for some erotic material - and I was successful. I spent quite a bit of time watching sex scenes, shame on me. I did feel quite save before starting my sinful action , as I still feel sleepy, and so I thought it wouldn't arouse me too much. Well, it did arouse me somewhat, but I didn't act out. I just knelt down to ask the Lord to forgive me. Before that, I deleted the history on my YouTube channel. I hope I won't be tempted anymore to search for such material. It's such a pain. I don't know how to suppress this physical and emotional desire. My fantasy life is still quite active. I hope my battle will soon be quelled.
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