Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 20:23:33 GMT -7
Kelly,
I completely understand that you want your husband to take care of you for a change. You are his wife and should be treated like his queen - like the most important person in the world to him. Why bother cutting off all of the other suitors in your life for one that won't even take care of you, right??
People can be so selfish and cruel. I am so sorry that you have not had proper time to grieve. Making time for yourself without all of life's distractions is easier said than done, that's for sure.
Going on day to day pretending that everything is ok is something that I (and most women, I think) learn to perfect over a lifetime of disappointments and betrayals. For me, it's a way to put my mind elsewhere or I think I will totally lose it. It's OK to say that everything is NOT OK! Let it out!
I missed out on being a blissful newlywed, too. SO disappointing.
My husband didn't even bother buying me a wedding or engagement ring until we separated during December 2016, when I caught him lying about watching porn again.
I empathize with you about not being able to enjoy your marriage as you have a right to; starting with the wonderful honeymoon and extending to the first months of being in a happy, lovely, new marriage. That's the way it should be, but two people have to make that happen together and it's such a waste and so disheartening to realize that what you had hoped for (and what you so deserve) is not the reality.
People who minimize things of this nature have no idea what they are talking about. Period. We know this so well don't we, guys??
Disregard their ignorant comments and remind yourself that YOUR FEELINGS MATTER!
YOU matter, Kelly! You are a beautiful child of God and He wants you to be happy and He wants everyone that He puts in your life to treat you with love and respect- YOU DESERVE IT! Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different because you know in your heart that it's not true!
I understand how demeaning it is to feel rejected and like you have to explain yourself regarding how someone's addiction is affecting you. The trauma is VERY real. It really sucks when you reach out to people and they blow you off, it hurts very deeply and creates new wounds were there are some already.
The first person I reached out to about my husband's PA was his sister.
I sent a short but detailed email that his PA and him lying about it was going to most definitely lead to a divorce, and asked her what advice she could possibly give me in how to help her brother.
She responded with some ridiculous comment asking why I was "painting a bad picture of" her brother to her and said he left home and left everything to be with me so that means he loves me.
Needless to say, I didn't bother responding and haven't really had a desire to speak to her since.
The fact that she disregarded this very serious issue that I reached out to her about was so disappointing and hurt me so deeply.
I had already been dealing with his addiction on my own for so long, and it took a lot in me to get the balls to reach out to someone that knows and loves him to be honest about our situation. I knew that he always played the "we are great" line, and that anytime they found out that we were separated he was never honest with them about why.
God only knows what kind of lies and half-truths he has told his family about me and what they must think of me!
Who cares.
People that are not IN it have NO idea what it's like.
It can be so confusing.
Leaning on God is always great advice, but it's like, " Yes. Of course. I'm leaning on God... But it would be nice to have some humans here around me to lean on, too!!"
I totally understand this.
Lord Almighty. With some humans it's like pulling teeth just to get them to act human!
People should be compassionate, even when they don't fully understand.
Any child of God that is in pain and reaches out to someone for help or advice deserves compassion and respect, in the very LEAST.
God has got you covered- but in the meantime, I pray that the people in your life will wake up and realize that this is very real.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have people in your life that actively support you and look out for your well-being.
We are here for you, Kelly.
*hugs*
I completely understand that you want your husband to take care of you for a change. You are his wife and should be treated like his queen - like the most important person in the world to him. Why bother cutting off all of the other suitors in your life for one that won't even take care of you, right??
People can be so selfish and cruel. I am so sorry that you have not had proper time to grieve. Making time for yourself without all of life's distractions is easier said than done, that's for sure.
Going on day to day pretending that everything is ok is something that I (and most women, I think) learn to perfect over a lifetime of disappointments and betrayals. For me, it's a way to put my mind elsewhere or I think I will totally lose it. It's OK to say that everything is NOT OK! Let it out!
I missed out on being a blissful newlywed, too. SO disappointing.
My husband didn't even bother buying me a wedding or engagement ring until we separated during December 2016, when I caught him lying about watching porn again.
I empathize with you about not being able to enjoy your marriage as you have a right to; starting with the wonderful honeymoon and extending to the first months of being in a happy, lovely, new marriage. That's the way it should be, but two people have to make that happen together and it's such a waste and so disheartening to realize that what you had hoped for (and what you so deserve) is not the reality.
People who minimize things of this nature have no idea what they are talking about. Period. We know this so well don't we, guys??
Disregard their ignorant comments and remind yourself that YOUR FEELINGS MATTER!
YOU matter, Kelly! You are a beautiful child of God and He wants you to be happy and He wants everyone that He puts in your life to treat you with love and respect- YOU DESERVE IT! Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different because you know in your heart that it's not true!
I understand how demeaning it is to feel rejected and like you have to explain yourself regarding how someone's addiction is affecting you. The trauma is VERY real. It really sucks when you reach out to people and they blow you off, it hurts very deeply and creates new wounds were there are some already.
The first person I reached out to about my husband's PA was his sister.
I sent a short but detailed email that his PA and him lying about it was going to most definitely lead to a divorce, and asked her what advice she could possibly give me in how to help her brother.
She responded with some ridiculous comment asking why I was "painting a bad picture of" her brother to her and said he left home and left everything to be with me so that means he loves me.
Needless to say, I didn't bother responding and haven't really had a desire to speak to her since.
The fact that she disregarded this very serious issue that I reached out to her about was so disappointing and hurt me so deeply.
I had already been dealing with his addiction on my own for so long, and it took a lot in me to get the balls to reach out to someone that knows and loves him to be honest about our situation. I knew that he always played the "we are great" line, and that anytime they found out that we were separated he was never honest with them about why.
God only knows what kind of lies and half-truths he has told his family about me and what they must think of me!
Who cares.
People that are not IN it have NO idea what it's like.
It can be so confusing.
Leaning on God is always great advice, but it's like, " Yes. Of course. I'm leaning on God... But it would be nice to have some humans here around me to lean on, too!!"
I totally understand this.
Lord Almighty. With some humans it's like pulling teeth just to get them to act human!
People should be compassionate, even when they don't fully understand.
Any child of God that is in pain and reaches out to someone for help or advice deserves compassion and respect, in the very LEAST.
God has got you covered- but in the meantime, I pray that the people in your life will wake up and realize that this is very real.
You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have people in your life that actively support you and look out for your well-being.
We are here for you, Kelly.
*hugs*