Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 23:15:21 GMT -7
I was reading "The Wife's Heart" for the last few days. Twice my husband walked past and said "didn't you say they had one for the men like that?". I said yes and let it go. Then he asked for a third time yesterday. I then decided to ask him if he would like me to order it for him. He did not say anything right away and finally said a short "yeah". He is not much of a reader so we will see what happens.I'm going to order it for him. It's the first time he has wanted a book on porn addiction or asked me about what I'm reading. The good thing about Mikes books is that they are easy to read. They can be put down for days and then picked up and continue to be read from where you left off. Mike keeps his writing plain and doesn't throw a lot of elevated talk at you. That is awesome. This is exactly what he needs for his personality. Thanks for the info. I'm finding the Wife's Heart to be a very good read thus far. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Today
Jul 16, 2017 16:01:05 GMT -7
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2017 16:01:05 GMT -7
Today I noticed how on edge I have become. My husband is always very defensive and argumentative. I've gotten into a habbit of beating him to the punch and reacting in a very hard way. Lately I have been very grumpy and my attitude kicks in the moment I look at him. It makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I have adjustes in order to surrvie life with him. I have allowed it to make me an ugly person. I'm on edge all of the time from dealing with him. I can't allow his craziness to impact the person I am.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Today
Jul 16, 2017 16:13:05 GMT -7
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2017 16:13:05 GMT -7
The sad part is that I don't think he is a jerk on purpose. I think its just who he is and he can't help it. It may just be his personality or so ingrained he can't stop. I honestly believe he can't see what he is doing. I tell himi but he just can't see it. He has no clue. I am wondering if he has some comprehension issues also. He functions, works a job but I think he may have a slight cognitive delay.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Today
Jul 18, 2017 11:28:23 GMT -7
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2017 11:28:23 GMT -7
Hey jaynar05.
Its good to hear from you. My H also went threw the very Angry agitated phase. He was horrible to me. I did not even recognize him. I have read that oorn is like a drug. When they dont get their fix they become Angry. This might be why he is acting this way towards you.
Of course your on edge. You have been threw alot. Your emotions are everywhere.
You might be dealing with depression and anxiety because of the way things have been. It does make you feel like your the crazy one. I have been their! I am glad you recognize your behaviour not being so good and you will need to adjust it for him to feel safe to come to you when he is falling.. however try not to be to hard on yourself. Its been hard. You need a minute to sort threw all of this and process it. Any normal sane person would have a bad reaction to dealing with what your husband is putting you threw. So yes.. dont let his issues turn you into a person that you know your not ... remember to breath and give yourself a little room to feel and process...
I have started to use meditation to help calm my mind and body when he acts out.
You gotta stay healthy physicaly and mentally to do battle with the Devil. Its to draining when were weak.
Weakness will happen.. its inevitable. We are only human.
As far as him not getting it. He is blinded by the Devils temptation. Did he seem to have these issues before or is this new how he is acting like he just doesn't get it. Sometimes i think its an act or an excuse to keep us guessing. To manipulate us into believing that they aren't well so they can continue their bad behavior without us really suspecting it.
Either way it is cause for concern.
You are doing such a great job trying to hold it together for your family. We always here to listen.
Lean on God for strenght.
Take care of yourself my friend..
Hugs...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Today
Jul 18, 2017 12:37:29 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2017 12:37:29 GMT -7
Porn addiction messes with so much of the brain. It is a drug...one that your brain produces while looking at or engaging in sexual immortality. So your husband's moods are going to be all over the place...they will act worse then a menopausal woman. And it can affect the way the brain processes other things..ie the cognitive delay you are seeing. It can take a year or more for that to completely go away. The "fog" takes a longer period of time to dissipate than the it does for the chemical that produces it to leave the body. The closest thing I can liken it to is when you are under a great deal of stress and you are not able to process things like you usually do...being forgetful...not understanding things etc.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Today
Jul 19, 2017 8:27:14 GMT -7
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2017 8:27:14 GMT -7
Porn addiction messes with so much of the brain. It is a drug...one that your brain produces while looking at or engaging in sexual immortality. So your husband's moods are going to be all over the place...they will act worse then a menopausal woman. And it can affect the way the brain processes other things..ie the cognitive delay you are seeing. It can take a year or more for that to completely go away. The "fog" takes a longer period of time to dissipate than the it does for the chemical that produces it to leave the body. The closest thing I can liken it to is when you are under a great deal of stress and you are not able to process things like you usually do...being forgetful...not understanding things etc. Thank you for this information. This makes sense now. I told him that I feel he has bipolar disorder. His mood is all over the place. I wonder if you could give me some insight. He wants to come together all of the time now. When he was viewing porn actively he did not ever want to touch me. But now it does not seem normal to me either. Some times he request more than once in a day. I refuse because I feel like he may just be trying to use me to replace his addiction. Have you ever heard of this? Or is he just making up for the years where it was not happening? I asked for an in house separation. I feel is attitude when bad is toxic. I feel the need to protect myself. Since the in house started, he is reading and being a little nicer. On top of all this his mother has cancer and will be coming to live with us for awhile. I will be caring for her plus our 6 children. I don't think he cares or realizes all that I do. |
|
