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Today
Apr 10, 2017 7:35:38 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2017 7:35:38 GMT -7
My dad never has sexually physically harmed me or physically sexually harmed anyone that I know of However he has always been known to surround himself with woman outside his marriages. And he has always been intimately anorexia This IA is extremely common. I am reading a lot about the it. Most sex addicts are IA .... Dr Weiss found that when the SA is arrested that the marraogebroes not get better. So by addressing the real issue of withholding of connection / intimacy in these men he has been able to help them recover from thier fears. My husband sex addiction is in remission however his Intimacy anorexia is still on going..... it will always be there he will just need to interact with me differently Goldie, I thank God you never experienced sexual abuse. However IA can be just as devastating. I am not sure why you deleted your account. I am sorry to see you go and I pray you continue your journey of healing. We are here if you ever need us. Thank you for contributing, helping, supporting and uplifting us. |
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Today
Apr 28, 2017 19:10:58 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2017 19:10:58 GMT -7
I deleted my account because I thought I would do better without the website however I missed it and found out I need to be here. On the topic of Today I am reading and studying a lot about different things that are helping me. It's really a combination of things I have known about for years .... mindfulness, really letting go, not putting stock into what others think ( there are people in my life who are always very negative and have tried for years to bring me down ). I really limit my time with them to extremely minimal. And I am praying ( I have always prayed ) I am trying to eat healthier and get more sleep. I get up and get dressed and get out to work or coffee with my girlfriends or something daily to surround myself with other woman. I have really come to know that each of us ( male or female ) are struggling through something. Some of us worse than others. One thing that has really helped my recovery a lot has been doing random acts of kindness. Little things done without expecting anything or in some causes not even letting anyone know is a very very warm feeling and it just lifts me up to the kind of person I strive to be ..... also o mentioned mindfullness - meditation - I am learning it is avway of being - from what I am learning Christ taught this as a way of being. I honestly find that being in a mindfull state helps me totally with anger resentment and allows me to forgive others. Labeling my thoughts is what I started implementing today. And I have a lot to learn about that. My anger has bee. Expressed as reactions rather than responses and I am having control of my emotions more and more each day. This SA and IA are very traumatic, traumatic, traumatic!!!!!
Building up my self esteem has been key. I have detached ( another key ( detachment with love ) this has saved my life in realizing I am not responsible for my husband's recovery .... I have fought a war in my home with Satan because my husband was in denial. I laid a bottom line of an intensive program that he went to and I will participate in the recovery things he wants me to with him. I myself have been very very spiritually sick and although how he was for years effected me..... I have to take respondsabloiry for my actions and behavior which has been terrible as far as how I have reacted in anger towards him. I am learning step by step today
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2017 9:37:38 GMT -7
Today I am so sick of pornography stressing me out. It has stolen so much from me. It has taken my joy, peace and destroyed my family. And yes I'm blaming the last 30 pound weight gain on porn too. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of sadness and depression. I want my life back. I've never been a weak person and I figure why start now. I'm done allowing this thing to destroy me. I'm really placing it all in God's hands. Today I will enjoy my children and my life. I laid out on the floor and cried at the Fathers feet. I gave it all to Him. We are victorious through Christ Jesus. He died so I can have salvation but also so I can walk in victory. My husbands sin do not define who I am.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2017 7:11:09 GMT -7
Today I am choosing to forgive my husband. I am tired of having this weight on me. He is in God's hands, so is my marriage. I'm done crying over this and worrying about it. If does or does not so right, that is between him and God. I will pray for him but I'm not worrying about it anymore. He has to choose what type of person he wants to be.
Today I worked out for the first time in a while. This is about giving every area of my life to Christ. The joy I have to day and the smile in my heart is unbelievable. I never thought I would get to this place. I don't need to be angry anymore. I increasing my faith. Today I am living for God and God alone. Today I will walk in victory because of Jesus. As miss Clara said in War Room, "God is a good defense attorney". I don't have to fight. He will fight for me. Today I will submit to God and resist the devil.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2017 7:45:27 GMT -7
GOOD FOR YOU JAYNAR!!!!! 🙄.... im doing the same thing... its Not easy but Its all i can Do and it helps me from feeling awful everyday. I also came to the point i was tired of suffering... im gonna sit back and watch... God will reveal to me what kind if man my H is gonna choose to be....
So happy for you friend...
Working out has helped me alot! It has helped release some stress... you go jaynar! You are a wonderful person.. worry about you and let God worry about him!
Hugs sister!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2017 8:19:42 GMT -7
The War Room is an awesome Movie! The fact that I actually watched the whole thing speaks to that. I don't watch much TV or movies. I need to re-watch the War Room. Boy you never hear me say that! LOL
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Deleted
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Today
Jun 25, 2017 21:12:13 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2017 21:12:13 GMT -7
Absolutely love that movie!
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Deleted
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Today
Jun 28, 2017 11:52:27 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 11:52:27 GMT -7
The War Room is an awesome Movie! The fact that I actually watched the whole thing speaks to that. I don't watch much TV or movies. I need to re-watch the War Room. Boy you never hear me say that! LOL I bought the DVD and watch it whenever I need some encouragement. I love it!! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 12:00:46 GMT -7
GOOD FOR YOU JAYNAR!!!!! 🙄.... im doing the same thing... its Not easy but Its all i can Do and it helps me from feeling awful everyday. I also came to the point i was tired of suffering... im gonna sit back and watch... God will reveal to me what kind if man my H is gonna choose to be.... So happy for you friend... Working out has helped me alot! It has helped release some stress... you go jaynar! You are a wonderful person.. worry about you and let God worry about him! Hugs sister! It is not easy at all. I am with you. I just had to make some tough choices for myself. God loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. I need to love me enough not to allow this thing to drive me into an early grave. I have become very unhealthy and overweight. My body is paying for it and I can feel it, my mind also. I am so done with allowing this to destroy me. My children need me and God has a plan for me. I don't want to let them or God down. I feel for my husband that he would continue to choose to live in bondage. Yet, it is his choice. It is interesting how people can be in a pit for so long they become afraid of freedom because it's the unknown. I'm jumping out of this boat and trusting God will catch me where ever I land. I will not live another day of my life walking in fear. Fear has kept me bound so long. Afraid my husband will never stop lying Afraid to sleep because I think he will look at porn if I do Afraid to work on my weight because I think my efforts will fail I recognize the driving force in my life now, and it is not of God |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 12:03:02 GMT -7
Today,on another note, I am so sick today. I have picked up some kind of bug. I have not been sick in a long time. With 6 kids and 4 of them under 6, this is not working. I hope it will pass soon.
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Deleted
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Today
Jun 28, 2017 15:27:32 GMT -7
Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2017 15:27:32 GMT -7
Oh Hon! I am praying you get well quickly!
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Today
Jul 4, 2017 6:58:11 GMT -7
Post by KevinesKay on Jul 4, 2017 6:58:11 GMT -7
Jaynar, awesome posts. Work on you. You can't change him. It's much better this way. You are so loved by God and all of us. Keep it up, and God will see you through this. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 7:46:45 GMT -7
I was reading "The Wife's Heart" for the last few days. Twice my husband walked past and said "didn't you say they had one for the men like that?". I said yes and let it go. Then he asked for a third time yesterday. I then decided to ask him if he would like me to order it for him. He did not say anything right away and finally said a short "yeah". He is not much of a reader so we will see what happens.I'm going to order it for him. It's the first time he has wanted a book on porn addiction or asked me about what I'm reading.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 8:41:01 GMT -7
"Today I am choosing to forgive my husband. I am tired of having this weight on me. He is in God's hands, so is my marriage. I'm done crying over this and worrying about it. If does or does not so right, that is between him and God. I will pray for him but I'm not worrying about it anymore. He has to choose what type of person he wants to be."
Enjoy your newfound freedom, Jaynar !!!
WAY TO GO !!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 11:18:00 GMT -7
I was reading "The Wife's Heart" for the last few days. Twice my husband walked past and said "didn't you say they had one for the men like that?". I said yes and let it go. Then he asked for a third time yesterday. I then decided to ask him if he would like me to order it for him. He did not say anything right away and finally said a short "yeah". He is not much of a reader so we will see what happens.I'm going to order it for him. It's the first time he has wanted a book on porn addiction or asked me about what I'm reading. The good thing about Mikes books is that they are easy to read. They can be put down for days and then picked up and continue to be read from where you left off. Mike keeps his writing plain and doesn't throw a lot of elevated talk at you. |
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