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Post by Will on Jul 11, 2018 3:21:36 GMT -7
Hi guys,
well I stumbled on Sunday. Thank God it was not too 'bad'. Basically cruised risque movies on youtube for about two hours. No porn or MB. But it was a stumble, and Praise God I'm aware that the Lord doesn't really discriminate so much between 'bad' stumbles and 'light' ones. It's really the principal of where my mind was and the wickedness in my mind, as He said.
Frustrating, in that it is so obvious now that it was just the enemy attacking me as so often before. Felt disillusioned, down, depressed, like I was not making any progress and could not whatever I did. So foolish!!
Thank God that He has restored me to Him through His grace.
Please pray for my work situation, it is so stressful! Working like a dog right now just to keep my job. Have probably put in 10 hours unpaid overtime in the last few weeks.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 11, 2018 5:01:27 GMT -7
We do have sorrow, and that's important, but as you know, we must not stay down there.
Lessons learned! This is a new day! May God set your feet upon the Rock and establish your goings!
I pray that your work situation will improve.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 11, 2018 5:01:38 GMT -7
We do have sorrow, and that's important, but as you know, we must not stay down there.
Lessons learned! This is a new day! May God set your feet upon the Rock and establish your goings!
I pray that your work situation will improve.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2018 6:24:55 GMT -7
Will, have you given thought to finding a new job? I know it's never easy to consider this option but it might be something that could in the long run ease your stress.
Don't let the enemy beat you up and make you feel that you haven't made any progress. You have! It wasn't too long ago that you would have continued down that rabbit hole and not resurfaced for days or weeks. I am impressed with how far you have come. Keep turning back to God and keep fighting. The battle isn't easy but you are making progress!
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Post by Will on Jul 14, 2018 19:51:05 GMT -7
Hi guys,
thanks so much for the encouragement. Unfortunately stumbled again yesterday. Same thing as a week ago. Super frustrating. Thank God for Jesus!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2018 20:39:31 GMT -7
Hey Will! Amen to that; thank God for Jesus! Just wanted to let you know that I love you and I'm praying for you!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2018 5:26:02 GMT -7
Jesus wants you to repent and believe. Do you know Jesus?
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Post by Will on Jul 18, 2018 1:02:29 GMT -7
Hi guys, thanks so much for the encouragement Noah, really appreciate it! Thanks Dominic, yes I know the Lord Jesus, He is my saviour and King. Thank God that when I truly remember that, nothing else much matters!
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Post by Will on Jul 21, 2018 3:29:45 GMT -7
Hi guys,
well feeling a bit better now. Just got through Saturday (nearly), that is by far the most difficult day for me. It is such a battle, am attacked from so many angles, it's actually weird. Really had to pray and ask Jesus for help a couple of times and was tempted a lot, but resisted the enemy and he fled. Obedience, even though it was far from perfect, is such a great blessing.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 21, 2018 20:01:31 GMT -7
Thankful that our Savior is right with us to encourage (NOT condemn) on days like that. We have many wonderful mental pictures of Him, but one of them must surely be that of a coach giving a powerful encouragement to press on and do better, after a play that was not executed perfectly.
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Post by Will on Jul 23, 2018 0:41:18 GMT -7
Hi guys,
have a Church politics update. Think I told you that our Church was struggling to fend off kind of a 'takeover bid' by the Baptist Union, under the guise of us not having enough people (there's around 12-15 per service), and not being 'modern enough', which reading between the lines means we don't have a rock band and that is no longer acceptable for a Church not to have.
Our Church Secretary, who pretty much runs the place administratively, has always urged a huge amount of caution when dealing with the Baptist Union, been very conservative and over-polite with them, not wanting to ruffle any feathers, even when all the other members really wanted her to take a stronger line and tell them where to get off. But we have respectfully allowed her to do it her way.
Well she just came back from a meeting with the BU's representative. He has said now that he will close us down at the end of the year. The Secretary came back from the meeting and admitted that she thought the Church should close down as well, and that she always had!!
I feel pretty betrayed by her. Am trying to be as gracious and loving as possible, please pray for me for the wisdom to act according to God's will and with the Lord's love and mercy.
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Post by Will on Aug 6, 2018 21:30:46 GMT -7
Hi guys,
well just checking in. I'm on vacation in England. Sobriety going well in terms of clean days. Haven't stumbled since I last updated my 'Days of Integrity', so that's great. Have felt in the Holy Spirit that maybe it isn't so great for me to update it - as soon as I do it seems to trigger pride and complacency, like 'great, I have ### days up, I'm doing well. I've got this, it's easy, no problem'. That is LETHAL to recovery and must be avoided at all costs. Better really to focus on today, see that as the only real goal, as it is:
Matthew 6.34: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
However am not really experiencing much joy in recovery. Am going through the 'I'm avoiding pornography, why isn't everything going right?' thing.
Tbh, am super depressed and unhappy and lonely. Huge sense of impending doom. Cannot seem to work life out, everything seems to be going wrong. Hard to see brightness in the future. Sorry can't be more positive.
Reading this, turned to the Word of God that I know offers answers in these times. Just read (in Psalm 78:22) "because they did not believe in God and trusted not in His salvation".
Almighty Father, please help me trust in your Salvation.
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Post by savedbygrace on Aug 7, 2018 5:12:02 GMT -7
Hi Will, Thanks for taking the time to come on here and encourage others!
May God help you work through this difficult time, and fill you with joy and hope!
2 Corinthians 13:14 (ESVUK) 14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2018 6:42:11 GMT -7
I am sorry you are having a difficult time finding joy. I have the same problem most days lately. So much stressful junk has happened and I am finding it difficult to get myself back on track. You have also been going through a fair amount of stress. Hang in there Will. God is faithful. He will show us a way out.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2018 19:48:10 GMT -7
Hi Will. How are you doing? It's been awhile since you posted here. I am praying for you brother.
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