Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2016 15:49:44 GMT -7
You are no longer the only one praying for your husband. We are a community that prays for and with each other. If there is anything specific you would like us to pray about, just let us know.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 14, 2016 0:45:49 GMT -7
Oh, one of those miraculous things that God has used to show that I am to be still, is that out of the blue he will bring a stranger who will approach us and tell us, that they can feel the love between us,. One young Christian woman said to us, you two have such an amazing chemistry! Even our marriage counselor has said, I have never counseled a couple who belong together more than you two! Our counsellor just marvels that we are still together , talking and smiling at each other, and wanting to be together enough to face all this pain. she says I dont know how you are even doing that?! Its really a miracle to be surviving the amount of devastation thats been wreaked in our marriage.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 14, 2016 2:06:27 GMT -7
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Cor 12v9
Sometimes we wonder how Jesus can be glorified in our messy lives. The way you ladies have perservered through this suffering shows the world the power of Jesus.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 15, 2016 14:36:33 GMT -7
Yesterday God called me out on to vows that I personally made to him. Because of these vows, I may never see my husband delivered from this vile addiction. Honestly, as I look at my husband today (a bad day) I only see a rotting corpse. In its defiled, decaying and putrid state. I'm angry, I am basically stomping my feet at God telling him this is so unfair. But I feel God directing me to stay and pray, stay and pray. It's like those women who marry a nonbeliever they spend their whole lives on their knees praying for their husbands salvation. This is what God has called me to do. My ministry right now is to pray for my husband. If I only pray for his deliverance so that I will benefit, than that is really selfish of me. I have to pray and live with what ever my husband allows God to do in his life. God will not abandon me. Gods grace will be sufficient for me to be obedient. I also know that God rewards the faithful. That doesn't gaurantee that we will reap those rewards in this life. I'm finally ok with that. Even in the midst of this, God does give us little victories to help sustain us. We see when the husband reaps consequences from their action from other people. That tells us that God will use people other than us to intervene in our husbands lives. Another victory for me is this. My husband's therapist treats lust as a someone instead of an it, based on Romans 6:11-14. Insert lust where sin is mentioned. So I'm really angry right now over the constant lying in all forms that my husband is still using. Then God, whispers to me while I'm in church. Lying is lust's bodyguard. It's lying's job to do whatever it has to, to protect lust and keep it safe and alive. So now I see this bondage as having not only a master but that master has resources in place to be able to maintain its slavery.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 6:28:02 GMT -7
Hi Elle hon, how are you and your family doing?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2016 6:21:08 GMT -7
just checking in to let you all know I'm doing ok. I'm nearing the end of pregnancy now, its not been fun and I've felt a bit of a sideshow freak as trauma specialists, GP, midwife, and child mental health all surround me ready to safeguard /support with the bonding and birthing issues i might have as a result of my sexual and relationship trauma. But still, i appreciate they recognise the damage and its potential effects.
My daughter is doing significantly better but a specialist visiting me in relation to the potential bonding issues observed her behaviour being like that of a child who has witnessed domestic violence and abuse, and has pushed on the referrals made by my GP (which had been rejected earlier in the year) so finally my daughter may get some help in her own right. The specialist had the same concern as me that she not enter puberty with these issues unresolved, it would be a time bomb. So thats an answer to the prayer that I never quite voiced. (thanks Holy Spirit for praying when i cant)
my husband appears to be doing well. I dont have that feeling of wondering if things are off balance and needing to explain things off as 'it must be just me lagging in my recovery and triggered' etc..... he seems freed completely. Of course it could all be illusion smoke and mirrors but i'm cautiously optimistic , anyway , I can only deal with my stuff not his so it's a good job there isnt anything making me wary.
my faith continues along the same stuckness, a cynicism about spiritual explanations of things, a rather fatalistic view of God, but I'm still hanging in there and certainly not opting out.
apologies for not coming on much but i find some posts too provoking for me . I hope all affected by their partners dark side find clarity, stop being further harmed by so-called counsellors, and continue to stand for what is good and holy.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2016 6:32:51 GMT -7
Hi Elle Hon, I have been thinking and about you and praying for you. I am glad you have lots of support for the upcoming birth of your precious little one. I am also thanking God for seeing the need in your daughter and directing help her way. I understand about your not posting often because some posts are triggering for you. Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. I love you as one of my sisters.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 9:10:03 GMT -7
Just to let you all know our son Rocco Raphael was born on Friday, a very healthy baby boy and me with no complications in delivery, recovering nicely. His names mean 'Restore', and 'God Heals'
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 12:35:13 GMT -7
Congrats Ellekay!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 13:05:45 GMT -7
Praise the Lord! Congrats Elle on your beautiful new baby boy. God has truly blessed you with a daughter and now a son.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 20:54:47 GMT -7
Congratulations! What a blessing! Love the name ... so beautiful. Prayers for your blessed family.
Grace
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2016 19:28:04 GMT -7
Congrats!!!😀
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2016 9:42:45 GMT -7
Hi Elle. How are you doing? How are your children and hubby doing? Are you handling the added stresses of a new born ok? Praying for you and yours. Hugs
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2016 12:39:42 GMT -7
Hi Amy. The newborn is less stressful than the horrendously painful pregnancy! I've just felt so much better physically since the birth , my mood has been better than it has in a long time. Funny because i was prime candidate for severe PND . Maybe its all the people praying for me? I'm actually doing really well. Even though we've been dealing with the little one's reflux, its not been wearing me down.
Its my duaghter who is still the main cause of stress as her fears are through the roof. Her and my husband were involved in a pretty bad car crash 2 weeks after the baby was born, they were very lucky to not be worse injured (whiplash for him, and soft tissue damage to her leg) . But she now has flashbacks of the crash added to her pre existing trauma. Fear seems to have really got her - in so many ways. Its so disturbing. and she is like a toddler again in so many ways when she's coming up 9! she worries primarily about her dad 'doing the bad thing again' , about her being 'bad' and something being wrong with her , about us arguing, and about Jesus coming back because it would be frightening (despite many conversations intended to reassure)
The marriage is in a fairly good place, I still battle with 'default' communication styles- being defensive , critical, etc. Its hard to unlearn habits that have arisen from years of hurt. But my husband commmented he had heard me laugh a lot more than in a long time. It feels good to let my guard down enough to laugh at something funny instead of staying uptight.
i think my more relaxed state is helped by the pressure being off sexually, with the baby in the bed etc. So I'm beginning to get a little anxious about how long its been and at some point getting back to 'normal' husband and wife behaviour. The 'sexual arena' is still not really a safe feeling place for me - its such a wounded part of me through all this i can feel my body freezing up just thinking about it. I think my husband is coping really well but its not fair on him to expect this to go on for too much longer. I'm pretty confident he hasnt made any kind of return to porn. There is nothing about his behaviour that has made me feel concerned. No addict type attitudes. He seems to be focussing his energy onto his missional work .But not in a concerning way that would suggest over-compensating . If its an act this time, well...i just hope it isnt, because it doesnt seem like it. He's changed.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2016 14:59:15 GMT -7
It's good to hear from you Ellekay and that things are improving. Sorry to hear about your daughter and the accident. I will keep your family in prayer.
|
|