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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 12:09:29 GMT -7
Evening, Figured I'd move my thread out of Introductions and over to here where it probably should be. Day four of the Purity course. I'm enjoying it and learning a lot. No issues and no slips so far. Wife is pretty set on moving out. I'm just taking things one day at a time. Time apart is probably a good thing at this point, as hard as that is for me to admit. She started seeing a second counselor today, this one focuses on Sexual Addiction. She didn't go into any details regarding her 2 hr appt, but did say it was fruitful and she will be going back in two weeks. I'm just thankful she is finding the resources she needs. Hopefully she can start healing. I have my second SAA meeting this Thurs night. Looking forward to that. I dug up my set of CDs with Johnny Cash reading the New Testament this morning. Started listening to him on the way to and from work. I live 35 miles from work so I get a good session each way. I think that about brings me up to date. Will try to post here every day, but depending on my schedule it may be every other day or so.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 13:09:03 GMT -7
BOM, Good start - keep it up. Nikanor
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 22:56:24 GMT -7
BOM: You're doing all the right things.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2015 14:06:30 GMT -7
Long day at work today. Not too much drama. Tired tonight. Just finished day 6 of the Setting Captives Free course. No slip ups or back slides so far. SAA meeting tomorrow night...looking forward to that. I did catch my wife off guard last night. She had had a rough day. Knowing this, I took her hand and said a prayer for her...out loud. Not something she is used to. It was a good moment.
Tomorrow is a new day.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2015 21:18:13 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 14:42:50 GMT -7
Second SAA meeting tonight. I enjoyed it. We had a new person show up. He was obviously nervous and scared, much like I was last week. I was able to share my experiences from last week, running into this week. I talked with the new guy afterward and he let me know he really appreciated my sharing. Was good to be able to help a fellow addict. I hope he returns.
So, though it has been longer, I am using my first SAA meeting as my sobriety date. Been one full week. I know I still have a long way to go, but I also KNOW that with God's help, I will make it. I know God is with me now and that is all I need to beat this thing.
What else. Wife and I chatted a bit before I left for the meeting. She has found a new apartment complex being built here in town and would like to see if she can get into it once it officially opens in Aug. She asked if I would go with her on Sat to check it out and if it looks legit, fill out the initial paper work to secure her a place. She hasn't worked in quite some time so her eligibility will depend on my credit check. I have agreed to do so. Hopefully by the time she actually moves in, I can have a second job or two lined up so we can afford this. At least that is my goal. I should finish my latest degree in the next 30 days or so. On the final push. Hopefully that degree will open some online teaching jobs for me. Hope so anyway. I know that if God wants us to separate, he will provide a way for the financial side. I don't really want to see the wife move out, but understand and will not stand in her way, will not let it get ugly, and will help her where I can. That is the least I can do after all I have put her through.
A special shout out to KK. You are doing all in the Purity Course Bro, just don't burn yourself out. Take things one day at a time. The course is designed to have you work through some stuff, then take a day to digest, reflect, etc. It is important that you do so.
I hope everyone else is doing well. I will say a prayer for all of you before I shut down tonight.
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KevinesKay
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Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 19, 2015 16:40:51 GMT -7
Like your feedback, BOM. Thank you. Glad to hear that your meeting went well tonight. You'll find a lot of new faces there almost every week. Unfortunately, many do not return. Have you found anyone that might seem like good candidate for a sponser?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2015 12:36:18 GMT -7
Long day. Woke up and sat outside in the sunshine while I drank coffee and started a new book...Every Man's Marriage. I'm impressed so far. The book is dedicated to men like me who have no idea how to treat women as women instead of objects.
About noon, drove wife around to start looking at apartments. She has found a place that won't be ready till Aug, but she really likes it so far. So we drove several hours away to look at a sister unit to get a feel. She has appt on Tues this week to talk to the administrators of the new place here locally. Its been a long time since I have seen her this excited about anything. I'm glad I was able to help her out.
So, its now 7:30 pmish here . Still need to do my SCF course for the day and I have some papers to grade from my second job.
All in all, a good day.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2015 14:11:46 GMT -7
BOM, Good to hear of your progress and efforts so far. I have not heard of that book, but if it is biblical I am all for it. I owe you a list of books yet but time has a habit of moving steadily and speedily too often for my likes. I will get to it I hope sooner than later - hang in there and have another cup of coffee and read some scripture, they seem to go together very well especially in the morning. Nikanor
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2015 18:19:05 GMT -7
Good progress BOM
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2015 3:21:52 GMT -7
KK and BOM, I just wanted to confirm what BOM said back on the 19th, when doing SCF please take it at a steady pace, not to fast, no more than a lesson a day - you can go slower. BOM is right that you need to absorb it all, meditate on the points of the lesson. When I did the course I did one per day (I wasn't working at the time) and started by reviewing the previous day's lesson and finished by trying to recall the main 1-3 points of that days lesson. I think it helped a lot, at least for retention purposes anyway.
BOM if you want me to see your SCF lessons let me know and I'll send you a PM with my email as I did for KK. Whatever you are comfortable with is ok by me. Lastly, if you aren't starting each lesson with prayer you might want to consider that. Let me know if I can help in anyway. Keep up the good work and rely on God for strength and wisdom. Nikanor
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2015 10:51:57 GMT -7
Nik, not to worry with the books. I have plenty for now. I'll hit you up again when my "to read" list is empty. I also appreciate the offer to have my SCF lessons sent to you, but I am good with the way things are right now. I am making and enjoying my weekly SAA meetings, I'm going to Church on a regular basis, and I'm doing my daily SCF classes. More important, my relationship with God is growing.
Nothing earth shattering going on right now. Wife met with people at the apt facility she had picked out but it won't work. There are some rules that just don't fit her anticipated lifestyle. So, she is back to the drawing board, which is ok. There is no hurry here other than she would like to know where she is eventually going just so she can start making firm plans. I'm sure something will work out when God is ready for it too.
As for me, I'm doing well. Had a therapist session yesterday. I go every two weeks right now. Had been going every week, but school is taking a lot of my time and I'm just about done, so pushed it to every two weeks. Working many with my therapist on understanding how I got here and how to be a part of a real relationship. I've never been good at relationships and I truly want to change that.
As for the addiction, still under control. No real slip-ups. Yes, there are times when inappropriate thoughts or visions pop into my head, but I have learned to quickly put them aside. So far, that is working well.
So, all in all, its been another good day.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2015 13:03:32 GMT -7
Keep up the Good work BOM.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2015 13:48:04 GMT -7
Good to hear all is going well, Praise God. "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31 Nikanor
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 1:33:05 GMT -7
I will be praying for you. I am glad you are going to meetings and hope they help you. I love Johnny Cash too. His testimony alone is awesome too as well as his music/hymns.
I think it's good that you are giving your wife space and helping her out like you are. That I'm sure is a relief to her.
Me and my H are separated in our home. I really need this break. I will be praying for your marriage.
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