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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2015 3:36:28 GMT -7
KevinesKay, Yes, I would be glad to be one of your accountability partners in SCF. I have done that for about eight different guys now. When you need to fill in that email on their form let me know. Great job on the 23-days. Keep it going and don't worry about any relapses (not encouraging that but it is reality as we are all sinners), the goal is to increase the time intervals in-between until you are counting in years or decades. Any sexual sin including P & M all center around selfishness and creating idols that replace the joy we should be getting from and giving to God. You are doing great but remember this is a life long battle so you need to always keep vigilant in your fight against temptations so keep reading scripture, good books, Christian radio, etc. Blessings,Nikanor
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jan 28, 2015 22:43:17 GMT -7
Thanks Nikanor, amen to what you said. I am by no means, delivered. But God's grace is sufficiently carrying me through. But just being sober is not good enough for God. He doesn't care about how perfect of a tree I am. He cares more about how much fruit I am bearing. So I feel that it's important that I focus on things like managing my life being that it's been so unmanageable. Turning my will and life over to God. Seeking more prayer and connection with the Lord. Following His will. Developing, appreciating, and exercising the many gifts He has given me as opposed to being sorry for what I don't have. For me, that's where the real battle is.
So if I lose my sobriety, at least I will have done something with my life that adds more meaning to my life. And that's better than being just sober by white knuckling and making it through by the skin of my teeth with nothing else to show for it.
No, I'm not cured or delivered. I may never be and I have the potential to act out at any moment. I am simply walking by God's grace. And today I have graciously received 25 days of good sobriety. Thank you, Lord.
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KevinesKay
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Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jan 30, 2015 0:56:42 GMT -7
Today's love dare challenges me to prepare a special dinner with my wife. I'll let you know how that goes. My wife knows that something is different about my behavior. But she can't yet put her finger on it.
Many times throughout the day, I catch myself in lust. It is too hard to stop while in the act. So during those moments I have to allow my mind to regroup later when a pretty girl is no longer in my sight.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2015 0:36:26 GMT -7
Praying that it went well!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2015 11:14:54 GMT -7
KevinesKay, Anxious to hear how the meal went - good or bad but hoping it was good. Also praying your sobriety is continuing. Try to take those images and thoughts captive and focus on how God is glorified and overjoyed with your ability to overcome bad actions and thoughts. One trick is to not give those thoughts and images a foothold, but to redirect to thoughts of God ASAP! There is something like a two second rule - the longer you let bad images and thoughts remain the more likely you are to give in to the temptations. For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. (Titus 2:11-14) Blessings,Nikanor
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 1, 2015 2:11:48 GMT -7
Okay, well I didn't get the dinner date done like I planned. I did start the process, but didn't get it done.
Paul, Nikanor, thanks for keeping me on my toes about this. Last night, I did prepare a tea and fruit plate for us to share. That went well. But this morning, my wife craved some hot chocolate. Since we didn't have hot chocolate mix and we are snowed in, I decided to make hot chocolate from scratch. This morning was a great start to the day for both of us. My wife was pleasantly surprised.
Perhaps I didn't prepare that meal as planned, but I do feel better about making attempts to amend the situation.
Again, thanks Nikanor and Paul. If you hadn't held me accountable to this, it may not have gotten done.
Yesterday was something else. When I got out of work, it was noted to me that my tire was flat. I knew that one of my tires was slowly leaking air. So I just thought I could drive it to the gas station to fill it up. Well, my tire was too flat for that. So I installed my spare. And that still didn't work.
So I called my wife to rescue me. After that I finally discovered that although my original tire and spare were underpressurized, they both still worked! That's because the tire on the other side was completely flat!
I was working on the wrong tire the whole time.
So when my wife got there, I installed my spare and my working but damaged tire. And I was able to pump the air in both at the gas station.
My wife, bless her heart, talked me into buying 2 new tires at Sears. They cost me $80 each. But since I was able to install them at home, I didn't pay any more than that. Plus, I was able to get them on before the snow storm last night. My cute little girls and I had fun as they helped me put them on.
There is an old AA promise stating that we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
This is one of those things which would have baffled me in the past, but not so much anymore.
I thanked my wife for talking me into getting those tires. Otherwise with the snow storm, my car would have been out of commission for awhile. And I thank God for carrying me through.
Today I graciously celebrate 4 weeks of quality sobriety. Thanks to the Lord, and to all of you.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 1, 2015 4:44:12 GMT -7
Okay guys, it's To-Do list time. Drum roll, please.
Blblblblblblblblblblbrummmmmm!
Prayer 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Bible 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Worship 1 1 1 Wife 1 1 Family 1 1 1 Clean 1 1 Workout Outreach 1 1 1
Again, 27 points. Thursday and Friday were weak days scoring 2 and 3 points. I should be shooting for at least 4-5 points each day.
Also, note that I didn't work out this past week. I desire to do better, particularly with getting a few workouts in. Thanks.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 1, 2015 8:46:04 GMT -7
Superbowl is here. Go seahawks. I'm a diehard Seattle fan. However, the rest of my family are diehard packer fans. They were not happy when my team upset theirs two weeks ago. My wife said that she never wanted to watch another football game with me again. She got over it though.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2015 9:43:53 GMT -7
KevinesKay, Seahawks - really? From the midwest and not picking one of the old Black and Blue division teams. I am a Vikings fan and look where that is going...millions in a new stadium but no team. Some day.... maybe....:?. Good luck to the Seahawks. Nikanor
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 3, 2015 23:43:01 GMT -7
I wanted to let you all know that I have graciously received 1 continuous month of good sobriety. Thank you, Lord. And thank all of you guys who are supporting me through this process.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 4, 2015 0:13:51 GMT -7
The past few days of love dare challenges involve renewing my relationship with God. As you know, I've been experiencing this renewing process throughout the past month.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2015 13:21:24 GMT -7
KevinesKay, That is good news indeed. Keep on going, the race set before you to completion. Nikanor
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KevinesKay
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Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 4, 2015 22:20:27 GMT -7
Thank you, Nikanor.
Today's love dare challenges me to communicate to my wife that I love her unconditionally regardless of whether she chooses to love me back.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2015 3:48:35 GMT -7
KK, There is the tough part, loving when you aren't loved back. But thankfully we have Jesus as our role model. When you look at Jesus as the bridegroom and the church as His wife and how He loved the church regardless of when, even in spite of, the church often failing to love back we see how we are to love unconditionally. I never learned this until late in life. Anyway, you are doing great at keeping up with it. Keep going brother. Nikanor
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 5, 2015 23:01:57 GMT -7
Amen to that, Nikanor. thank you
Today's dare challenges me to get rid of anything that is hindering my relationship with my wife. I do feel that my addiction to porn and other various forms of sexual acting out have made havoc out of my relationships. I'm so glad that I'm addressing them here to you.
33 days sober.... Yes,I'm still counting the days, but hopefully, I'm also doing better at making them count.
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