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Post by savagetribe on Aug 2, 2021 21:50:25 GMT -7
I don't think I mentioned the wives weren't hurting. Of course they are and rightly so because of our sexual sin. However, I have not experienced sticking it through thick and thin. That's all I'm saying here. Be blessed that your wives want you to heal as mine wanted me to fail because it would be an easier decision for her. God be the glory even in times of darkness, sorrow and grief. God pulled the veil of darkness away from my eyes to see what I was missing. The problem is that I was not good enough for her love. I wasn't perfect and I didn't keep our vows. Sometimes you only get one shot and I tanked. I'm not whining and please don't see it as telling people to stop whining. Just sometimes life sucks, takes a turn in a direction we didn't expect. Our expectations of what God can do in our life needs to be thrown away and allow God to lead us. It's not always a rosie picture. It's not always fun. It can be painful but I give God the glory for his wonderful name and what he has done for me. Trying to look at the brighter side even in my frustrations.
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Post by savedbygrace on Aug 3, 2021 14:21:26 GMT -7
And perhaps they are afraid it would be repeated.
Nevertheless, I believe the wife needs to be forgiving and supportive, especially if her husband is willing to be totally accountable to her in present time.
Praying...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2021 4:45:21 GMT -7
As a former wife of an addict and a former addict myself, I see both sides. I got free from porn because I relied on Christ. I stay free from it by continuing to rely on Christ. I met my ex after I got free. He lied to me about his porn addiction when I was open about my history. I found out after we were married. I stuck with him...put down boundaries which he never complied with...and would still be by his side if he hadn't lost control of his temper and left bruises on me.
Women are deeply hurt by this sin addiction. They are told over and over again how ugly they are by media and others. To find out they are not attractive enough to keep their husbands from wandering outside the marriage bed is rough on them and confirms the lies they have been told their entire lives. For women sex isn't just sex. It's love. It's intimately connecting mind, body, spirit, soul with their husband. They have to trust their husband to give of themselves that intimately. So when the husband steps outside the marriage bed, it rips that apart and the trust is lost. Most women will forgive and work at supporting and overcoming to save the marriage but some arent able to.
That being said, savagetribe, look to the Lord. He knows your heart. He has a great future in store for you. I never envisioned meeting someone else. I was perfectly happy to be single and focusing on Christ after my divorce. Christ had other plans for me and even though it has involved upheaval and more healing, it's been worth every minute of it. Don, my sweetie, can say the same thing. He was previously married also. His ex divorced him. He has learned that his ex was toxic and would have hindered the Lord's plans for the ministry he is to start.
Things happen for a reason and no matter how it looks, Christ works it for good and His glory.
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Post by savagetribe on Aug 5, 2021 20:33:46 GMT -7
As a former wife of an addict and a former addict myself, I see both sides. I got free from porn because I relied on Christ. I stay free from it by continuing to rely on Christ. I met my ex after I got free. He lied to me about his porn addiction when I was open about my history. I found out after we were married. I stuck with him...put down boundaries which he never complied with...and would still be by his side if he hadn't lost control of his temper and left bruises on me. Women are deeply hurt by this sin addiction. They are told over and over again how ugly they are by media and others. To find out they are not attractive enough to keep their husbands from wandering outside the marriage bed is rough on them and confirms the lies they have been told their entire lives. For women sex isn't just sex. It's love. It's intimately connecting mind, body, spirit, soul with their husband. They have to trust their husband to give of themselves that intimately. So when the husband steps outside the marriage bed, it rips that apart and the trust is lost. Most women will forgive and work at supporting and overcoming to save the marriage but some arent able to. That being said, savagetribe, look to the Lord. He knows your heart. He has a great future in store for you. I never envisioned meeting someone else. I was perfectly happy to be single and focusing on Christ after my divorce. Christ had other plans for me and even though it has involved upheaval and more healing, it's been worth every minute of it. Don, my sweetie, can say the same thing. He was previously married also. His ex divorced him. He has learned that his ex was toxic and would have hindered the Lord's plans for the ministry he is to start. Things happen for a reason and no matter how it looks, Christ works it for good and His glory. Thank you for the encouragement. :-)
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Post by savagetribe on Aug 10, 2021 7:53:31 GMT -7
Worked a bunch this last week staying up to fix servers in the middle of the night, I am so tired and that's when bad things happen. Involuntary images roll in my mind right when I wake up and still need sleep. I pray to God and take thoughts captive. I'm so tired and feel weak to fight. This road is not easy; it's hard; it takes will power not from our own but from God. He's given me strength to get through this before and he's been faithful to help when I ask. I'm so sick of these unexplained images that pop into my head. My flesh is a spirit killer. Please pray for me. My son is being attacked and I'm sad about that as well. I feel responsible for people lashing out at him and he has done nothing wrong. He's such a kind, warm and caring person and loves God. Sadness.....helplessness.....😞. Yet, I praise God and give him the glory. When will this nightmare end.
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KevinesKay
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Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
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Post by KevinesKay on Aug 11, 2021 9:37:00 GMT -7
Thanks for sharing savagetribe. As long as we're alive and living on this planet Earth, there will always be trouble. Lord, help Luke and his family. Amen
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Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2021 5:17:08 GMT -7
Amen
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Post by Will on Aug 13, 2021 20:12:47 GMT -7
Hey Savagetribe,
here's a little bit of advice that helped me: pray to the Lord Jesus to take away the spirit of sexual perversion from you. Then, in the name of Jesus command it to leave you and your family and go to wherever the Lord Jesus sends it, and never return. This was a real blessing to me a couple of months ago
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Post by savagetribe on Aug 14, 2021 7:34:38 GMT -7
Hey Savagetribe, here's a little bit of advice that helped me: pray to the Lord Jesus to take away the spirit of sexual perversion from you. Then, in the name of Jesus command it to leave you and your family and go to wherever the Lord Jesus sends it, and never return. This was a real blessing to me a couple of months ago Thanks you for the advise but that's something I did 9 months ago. I'm free from that old life. Just because you are free from the spirit of sexual perversion doesn't mean that you won't be challenged by the flesh. 35+ years of porn, it's amazing I don't have more issues. The mind will rewind some of the images from all those years. Over time they get less and less. From what I have read, this is a normal process and taking thoughts captive is a tool that we can use to combat. Retraining the brain from years of bad input.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2021 19:14:09 GMT -7
I'm glad you are free brother. I'm encouraged and hope to be there soon. I feel free right now but I don't know anything about it. I'm glad to be alive and here and read everyone's journey. Soon this life is over and we will be with Jesus, this is my hope because I'm not trying to go to hell.
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Post by savagetribe on Aug 27, 2021 19:23:47 GMT -7
Has anyone read the Road to Grace 'Little Boy'? It's an interesting short story and has a great ending. I love the fact that Jesus told both about the other that they will be healed if they choose to. Forgiveness is a choice. What we do with our healing is a choice. Standing, frozen in our sin or hurt not dealing with our past cannot heal us and we must meet Jesus wherever he takes us on the journey of healing. Allowing Jesus to heal us not only rips away our pride and ego but also teaches us to obey and trust him. My sin was a seed planted when I was 5. Satan's seed grew and put a wedge between me and God including my relationships. What I find interesting in the story as well is the fact that Jesus is not interested in the why but making a choice to heal and allow Jesus to take control. The past doesn't matter...it's the here and now that Jesus is concerned and how you are going to live for the rest of your life. Even though my short story is different, I still praise God for healing me and putting me on his path. The key is keeping my eye on God forever. There is no choice but to do that. I've already lost too much of my life to Satan's lies. Divorce is now upon me. My wife said she was unwilling to forgive and reconcile. The mountain is too great. When we face a mountain that is too great, God gives us a choice. Give in or Give it to him. Again, it's a choice and what does the word of God tell us. There is no mountain high enough or great enough. Our God is bigger than any of our problems people say. I say that God is too great for any of our problems combined times infinity. Unfortunately, Divorce will finalize in a couple of weeks. I was hoping and praying that God would heal both of us not just me. But as the short story says, we have a choice if we accept God's healing and must be willing to let go and forgive. Because if we don't forgive, we miss the beauty and blessing God is waiting to provide. He wants to love us, bless us and fill our lives with his everlasting living water.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2021 4:38:20 GMT -7
This is a difficult trails but I pray to God that you and your family will heal no matter what the outcome. To know Jesus, even in our pains. God is always there for you brother. I hope one day there will be forgiveness. Thank you for sharing. I have not read that Road to Grace Little boy either.
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KevinesKay
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Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Aug 28, 2021 7:37:03 GMT -7
savagetribe, This is new to me. Can you send me a link to Road to Grace Little Boy? If possible. Thanks 🙂
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Aug 29, 2021 7:51:33 GMT -7
Went through an unwanted divorce when I was 28 with 2 small kids. Wife was tired of me and the Christian life. She was also seeing another man at her work. Nearly killed me inside. Been married to my current wife now for 30 years. Very dedicated faithful woman to God first then to me. When my secret life of lust came out of the closet like 10 years later maybe earlier she was devastated but faithful to the marriage. Continued to have issues after this and still do. Been a long road. She don’t deserve this side of me. I do have an addictive personality. Even though I have this issue no one would have known it cause it didn’t interfere with my outside life. I believe God brings it out in the open for chastisement and has enough of me not dealing with it by submitting to Him.
Thanks for sharing your journey savagetribe. I’m sorry your wife is not at a point of forgiveness and is moving forward with divorce. Will be praying for you brother. Thankfully the Lord is faithful to us no matter what. He is good. We are not.
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Post by savagetribe on Aug 29, 2021 8:49:16 GMT -7
savagetribe , This is new to me. Can you send me a link to Road to Grace Little Boy? If possible. Thanks 🙂 Go to www.blazinggrace.org/store/books/the-road-to-grace/ and either order the book or get the ebook. Our men's group is using the book and is a really good read. At the end, there are three extra sections that is really good. The first of which is 'The Little Boy'
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