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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 16, 2022 7:12:53 GMT -7
Just keep going to Jesus. He can work out what is deeply wrong with us, even we don't know. Lord, please help and restore my brother. Please help him to be sober in his mind and spirit and please help me too. Please help us in Jesus' name. Amen.
Gal 5:16
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Apr 23, 2022 6:42:36 GMT -7
Relapse last night. No “m”. Had strong desire to act out this morning and complete the whole evil cycle but the Lord graciously and gently delivered me from it! God is so awesome! He reminded me of who I am in Christ and I don’t have to give into the flesh.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 23, 2022 16:57:47 GMT -7
I struggle with lust too in many thoughts and desires too. God please help us. Please forgive us. Please help us to walk pure again and pleas renew our minds Dear Jesus. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Apr 25, 2022 14:36:35 GMT -7
Had another April 23 night last night but learning more about why I’m biting the apple.
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Post by savedbygrace on Apr 26, 2022 15:33:02 GMT -7
Praying for you my brother, and for us all.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 27, 2022 2:33:24 GMT -7
Had another April 23 night last night but learning more about why I’m biting the apple.
Hello brother, for me, why I keep biting the apple...is because I am so weak. I can't explain it. For example, I went to help some customers for one thing, then was asked to help someone else. This person was dressed very (fill in the blank) and I was extremely tempted. My work conversations was turning into personal ones, and again, after all of this "recovery time" and stuff, I was getting the wrong feelings.
I don't know why I am like that, but I have to not put my self in those situations and it's extremely difficult for me, because about 90% of our customers are all wives and such. Shame on me. But I am trying and still asking God for help. I am not happy to admit this struggle but share it anyways.
Someone told me this, "you need to imagine your wife right there with you and also Jesus" and BAM, ouch, that got me, I would not have 1/2 the things I say IF I put that idea into practice. My smiles would be more professional, my tone and attitude more clear, not this "I can do what I want" kind of thing I do somethings. I call it a backsliding for me. It's said.
The other side is this...sometimes I get so into "(fill in the blank) and I'm feeling strong and blessed, and I get into this 'self-righteous' or 'so very serious where I can't laugh or acknowledge anyone' kind of attitude that I feel "better" than the world, and there is no balance, or I guess I should say, I get into two extreme
Extreme 1 is a Luke-warm, flirtatious mode Extreme 2 is a self-righteous hypocrite mode
Some maybe would say I might be too hard on myself. I have been told that by several counselors, but they don't know what I think, feel, and how easily arousal arrive in my brain/heart/mind so I don't think I am being too hard on myself.
I need to start thinking of my wife being there, like a little angel on my shoulder, not looking at me, at eyes with "You dog of a husband" but like loving, hurting, wanting me to do it right, those kind of things. Also, I know I am not supposed to put my wife above God, so I ought to fear God and love God way more than what my wife is able to do.
My wife could leave/divorce me, but God can do more, and is also more worthy of my love, but I am supposed to love my wife too. Sorry, if I said this all wrong and complicated but this is how I think now.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Apr 27, 2022 8:16:14 GMT -7
I need to start thinking of my wife being there, like a little angel on my shoulder, not looking at me, at eyes with "You dog of a husband" but like loving, hurting, wanting me to do it right, those kind of things. Also, I know I am not supposed to put my wife above God, so I ought to fear God and love God way more than what my wife is able to do.
My wife could leave/divorce me, but God can do more, and is also more worthy of my love, but I am supposed to love my wife too. Sorry, if I said this all wrong and complicated but this is how I think now.
Another terrible night. Fell all the way off to horse. Those are good points Dominic and very true. Thanks
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Post by savedbygrace on Apr 28, 2022 14:44:54 GMT -7
What is your own analysis of this? What are the things that help you when you are in a period of victory?
When you come to the Scriptures, what is God speaking to your heart?
You know my own struggle, and how up and down I have been. The above questions are only to help you think and pray about it.
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bandit
New Member
Posts: 24
Occupation: Cabinet finisher
Interests: Model cars, avid reader, astronomy
Days of Integrity: 3-7-22
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Post by bandit on Apr 29, 2022 13:22:31 GMT -7
Sometimes it takes recieving prayers for deliverance from oppressive spirits. If you go that route have them called out by name, such as spirit of sexual perversion, etc.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 29, 2022 18:27:05 GMT -7
yes, this is kind of how I am too. Sometimes I pray like "Get out of here in the name of Jesus, for it is written, thou shalt not commit adultery" and I keep trying to meditate on God's power and everything God is and His power and presence and I am freed.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Apr 30, 2022 5:14:09 GMT -7
Fell again last night. Most of the time having a few drinks is involved lately. I’m retired also. Some boredom and depression is setting in. We are currently disconnected from church. My wife seems uninterested in sex. My walk with God seems lukewarm which is not good. I have no Christian male friends I get together with only texting. No hobbies I am consistent with. So because of my life long issues with porn it’s that short escape and rush. I need to get my act together. I can correct some of these things I’m just being lazy. The first is consistent reading and fellowship with the Lord.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 30, 2022 17:20:54 GMT -7
Hi JavaJake, if you want, we can have weekly skype calls or skype meetings. Also, here is a link to the church I attend online. I"m also not in a physical church fellowship. live.life.church
God please help JavaJave to be close and fall in love with You all over again. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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Post by savedbygrace on May 2, 2022 15:14:04 GMT -7
Praying for us all.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on May 11, 2022 6:06:55 GMT -7
Thanks. Last night was another fall. P&M. Same old same old. I need to get serious. Was doing well then lett the beast out again.
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Post by Will on May 12, 2022 5:41:24 GMT -7
Hey JJ, feel for ya man. We've all been there. Really liked your last post on April 30th. Think you've identified a lot of important things there. Hobbies in particular have blessed me recently to stay sober. Chess and football, for me. Yeah I know they're not very spiritual, but they're things I can go to when I get an attack of craving. After a while, the craving goes away. God bless you brother!
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