Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2021 7:08:30 GMT -7
God bless you brother.
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Feb 9, 2021 10:35:49 GMT -7
Fell off the horse last night and this morning. Feel terrible as always. Confessed to the Lord and moving on.
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Post by savedbygrace on Feb 9, 2021 16:59:08 GMT -7
Praying for your encouragement! Riding a horse is a good illustration.... we fall of and get right back on.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2021 17:00:49 GMT -7
Dear Lord Jesus, please help my brother to keep strong, please forgive him and forgive me too. Please help us stay strong to think of women as your children, for your glory, not for our pleasure. Thank you Lord for your mercies. Please remove any spirit of lust, adultery away from us. Please help us to stay clean. Lord, our brains are so addicted but we know that You know Lord. Please help us. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Feb 9, 2021 22:19:32 GMT -7
Dear Lord Jesus, please help my brother to keep strong, please forgive him and forgive me too. Please help us stay strong to think of women as your children, for your glory, not for our pleasure. Thank you Lord for your mercies. Please remove any spirit of lust, adultery away from us. Please help us to stay clean. Lord, our brains are so addicted but we know that You know Lord. Please help us. In Jesus' name. Amen. Amen and in agreement with brother! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2021 23:29:18 GMT -7
Dear Jesus, please help us be strong today. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Feb 24, 2021 12:35:50 GMT -7
Been doing well in intentional acting out. When I see nudity on tv I don't freak out but I don't move on. I try to see if it excites me. I enjoy the beauty of a woman. Is this lust? What is sexual lust?
COVET
kuv'-et ('awah; zeloo, "to desire earnestly," "to set the heart and mind upon anything"):
Used in two senses: good, simply to desire earnestly but legitimately. e.g. the King James Version 1 Corinthians 12:31; 14:39; bad, to desire unlawfully, or to secure illegitimately (batsa`; epithumeo, Romans 7:7; 13:9, etc.); hence, called "lust" (Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 10:6), "concupiscence" (the King James Version Romans 7:8; Colossians 3:5).
Your thoughts
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KevinesKay
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 24, 2021 15:39:58 GMT -7
Thanks for sharing this javajakeFor me, watching any type of media that portrays female nudity is going to open the pathways in my brain that lead straight to pornography. Most recovering sex addicts would not consider that a relapse, but it would still be considered crossing a middle circle boundary. One can deny it's lust, but for me, a porn addict and a sex addict, it's not good. My wife would not entertain the thought that there is any difference with this or pornography. She expects me to have eyes for her and her only. And many wives would feel the same way. It makes me think of the alcoholic that uses the moderation technique of switching from wine to beer. He thinks he's managing his addiction using moderation, but ultimately, it leads back to full blown drinking. It's simple brain chemistry. Any type of lust such as watching r-rated movies, or viewing Hentai porn, or staring at the girls wearing yoga pants walking down the sidewalk, is simply moderation. I'm attempting to keep that high feeling in my brain without crossing the line. But ultimately, I'm just filling my day with building block behaviors that lead me straight to my ultimate drug. |
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Post by Will on Feb 25, 2021 4:13:41 GMT -7
Been doing well in intentional acting out. When I see nudity on tv I don't freak out but I don't move on. I try to see if it excites me. I enjoy the beauty of a woman. Is this lust?
Yes it's lust!!! 
All I know is: the only way I can stay sober is ZERO TOLERANCE. Nothing else works. That's because of the slippery slope principal, that the internet enables oh so easily. Also because the BLESSINGS that arrive wonderfully ONLY (in my experience) with zero tolerance. 'Slightly less bad' may not be as bad, but the blessings are forestalled by it. So then there's no providential reward cycle to remind me how much more wonderful God's blessings are than the grubby temptations of the enemy. So then it's still equally hard to resist those temptations because you're not receiving any reward for resisting them.
My old 'categorisation' (for what it's worth!!) was like this:
Defcon 1: hardcore porn with orgasm (mostly got this out of my life a couple of years ago although think there was a slip about a year ago) Defcon 2: hardcore porn without orgasm
Defcon 3: softcore porn no orgasm Defcon 4: softcore porn (anything with nudity) but covering my eyes or the screen for the actual nudity bit (that inevitably at some point would fail and I would give up trying to avoid the nudity, thus slipping down the list to Defcon 3 Defcon 5: Sensual or sexual content without nudity Defcon 6: All fictional audiovisual content (e.g. movies) Defcon 7: All audiovisual entertainment (including e.g. TV shows, reality TV, non-fiction youtube clips)
Okay I made the 'Defcon' thing up just then! But the categorisation has been in place for at least 5-7 years. I would try to hold the line between these levels, persuading myself that engaging in say Defcon 5 was okay or not too bad or acceptable as long as it didn't progress to Defcon 4.
Of course, the reality is that ALL of this is DEFCON 1. To avoid slipping to Defcon 1, you have to avoid COMPLETELY all the Defcons.
You may think that is extreme, but: up until about a year and a half ago, Defcon 6 and 7 were not on this list. I considered them acceptable and not a problem at all.
Guess what, when 6 (about a year and half ago) then 7 (four months ago roughly) were added, and it became clear that ALL of these had to be avoided for me personally not to slip down the list to Defcon 1 periodically, my problem with porn and masturbation stopped (at least so far!!) Also it's WAY easier avoiding all audiovisual entertainment than watching some but then trying to stop watching if something from further down the list appears.
My testimony brothers is that zero tolerance is the only game in town!
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Feb 25, 2021 9:33:09 GMT -7
Thanks Kevin and Will. I see where you are coming from. A shame we cannot enjoy the beauty of a woman without all the nasty's showing up. And I'm not talking about nudity saying that. But the temptations go up when the wives don't do there part. Like staying in shape and actually letting you see them naked. You know the things that ring our bells. The way God made us to respond to our wives. Sometimes I just want to see that. How many of us would of got married if the deal was no sex and no seeing them naked? What was the first thing that made you want to approach your wife before she was your wife? You saw this woman and she caught your physical eye. Then you started the process of getting to know her. Am I right?
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KevinesKay
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 25, 2021 14:08:06 GMT -7
javajake, This is such a revealing post. I can sense the frustration and resentment that you feel toward your wife. I am absolutely positive that a great number of husbands feel the same way that you do. The Bible does support that married couples should have healthy sex. But it's true that many married couples are not having sex. We're talking about two broken people coming together. Things are not always going to work out as planned. And I think it complicates things further that men and women think and feel differently. Men don't understand women and women don't understand men. Women see sex differently than men and they have sex for different reasons. They also see marriage differently than men and get married for different reasons. And wives are just as much frustrated (if not more) with their husbands. Wives are certainly not dreaming about getting naked and having a bunch of sex. That's what porn teaches us, and that's a big fat lie. And the enemy will use that lie to fuel the resentment inside us. He makes accusations such as, Your wife isn't pretty enough. Your wife should be enjoying this more. Your wife should be doing it more. Your wife should be turned on by getting naked with you. All these other girls you see are doing it, why can't she? And so on... Lies... And the resentment fueled by these lies leads me to justify my acting out with porn and fornication. The Bible also calls us to love our wives, and to lay our life down for them. That can only be done through the power of Jesus Christ. Otherwise, it's impossible. But I believe that if a man is able to demonstrate such love to his wife, it will produce a stronger marriage having a physical and emotional intimacy that 90% of all couples do not enjoy. I hope that helps even if it's just a little.
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Feb 26, 2021 9:31:36 GMT -7
Makes sense. Don't get me wrong. My wife is my best friend. She has my back. She should of left me over this stuff. I started looking at hard core porn when I was 13. This has definitely messed with my ideas and views on sex and women. I hate to think where I would have been today if Jesus had not sought me and given me eternal life.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2021 7:08:41 GMT -7
Thanks Kevin and Will. I see where you are coming from. A shame we cannot enjoy the beauty of a woman without all the nasty's showing up. And I'm not talking about nudity saying that. But the temptations go up when the wives don't do there part. Like staying in shape and actually letting you see them naked. You know the things that ring our bells. The way God made us to respond to our wives. Sometimes I just want to see that. How many of us would of got married if the deal was no sex and no seeing them naked? What was the first thing that made you want to approach your wife before she was your wife? You saw this woman and she caught your physical eye. Then you started the process of getting to know her. Am I right? Sorry but I have to laugh. Can you believe that Don asked the Lord for a woman that likes sex and now that he has one that does, doesn't want it? I am no beauty which Don pointed out to me...told me I didn't have to worry about men looking at me because I wasn't a sports illustrated swimsuit model. Sorry but most men are not exactly easy on the eyes either. Total double standard. We have to look perfect while men don't. |
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javajake
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Post by javajake on Mar 4, 2021 12:37:29 GMT -7
Thanks Kevin and Will. I see where you are coming from. A shame we cannot enjoy the beauty of a woman without all the nasty's showing up. And I'm not talking about nudity saying that. But the temptations go up when the wives don't do there part. Like staying in shape and actually letting you see them naked. You know the things that ring our bells. The way God made us to respond to our wives. Sometimes I just want to see that. How many of us would of got married if the deal was no sex and no seeing them naked? What was the first thing that made you want to approach your wife before she was your wife? You saw this woman and she caught your physical eye. Then you started the process of getting to know her. Am I right? Sorry but I have to laugh. Can you believe that Don asked the Lord for a woman that likes sex and now that he has one that does, doesn't want it? I am no beauty which Don pointed out to me...told me I didn't have to worry about men looking at me because I wasn't a sports illustrated swimsuit model. Sorry but most men are not exactly easy on the eyes either. Total double standard. We have to look perfect while men don't. Should of kept that to myself. Didn’t say perfect. A lot of men are slobs yet expect their women to look perfect. But we should both strive to first stay healthy for ourselves and second try to stay attractive to each other. Excepting for health reasons most of us don’t do this. Men and women both. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2021 21:55:18 GMT -7
Sorry but I have to laugh. Can you believe that Don asked the Lord for a woman that likes sex and now that he has one that does, doesn't want it? I am no beauty which Don pointed out to me...told me I didn't have to worry about men looking at me because I wasn't a sports illustrated swimsuit model. Sorry but most men are not exactly easy on the eyes either. Total double standard. We have to look perfect while men don't. Should of kept that to myself. Didn’t say perfect. A lot of men are slobs yet expect their women to look perfect. But we should both strive to first stay healthy for ourselves and second try to stay attractive to each other. Excepting for health reasons most of us don’t do this. Men and women both. It really doesn't matter in my experience. Didn't matter what my weight was...people are cruel and I have always been made fun of because of the way I look. My genetics will not allow me to look like a swimsuit model. Porn makes women into objects of lust...not the beloved bride of Christ as we should be viewed as. I wonder how different relationships would be if men treated their women as precious gifts from God. I am sorry if I came across as harsh. I was hurting because of how I have been treated lately and was being hit hard by Satan with all the ugliness from others in my past. |
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