Hey Rical,
hmmm that sucks. For what its worth, here's my advice and what has helped me (although I'm pretty much in the same boat but have slightly more victory than last year)
For me there's two sides to it, what I call 'Strategy' that is the overt, conscious stuff you can work at like you are a soldier in a war (and you are!).
But that only goes so far, the other side is the 'Spiritual' side, that is the really important stuff; what caused you to have this problem in the first place. I tried to suppress this and only use strategy for years, until I finally realised that as much as I didn't want to touch it, I really had to start dealing with the deep-seated reasons deep down in my soul why I struggle with this problem, because they are much more powerful than my conscious mind and they will keep forcing me to act out. Basically I think its pain, from childhood, rejection from parents, whatever, that keeps shouting "HEY, I'M NOT OKAY!!" And we're like 'Hey shut up, you're embarassing me!' But it will keep embarassing us until we let that pain out and validate it that it's not nothing, it's something, it's justified and it requires to be heard before it will be at peace.
It is since I learnt that second bit that I have been having a SLIGHT bit more success. But I still need major deliverance in this area. Supernatural, Holy Spirit deliverance to set me free from the deep-down self-hatred that is causing this, by Truly receiving God's Holy love.
I think this deliverance comes firstly from sharing with others in small groups, and afterwards by prayer and laying on of hands/anointing by Spirit-filled Christian believers. I have started the first part but not had the second bit yet.
Some things that made a difference to me in the 'Spiritual' part are:
this video and really accepting that its about Him, not me. That His is all the Glory and all the goodness and all the Light. And my life really will be happy in serving Him, and being the Love of Jesus Christ to others. That that is the point of my life. And that can start right now.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KfSz1RazksThe documentary 'Such Were Some of You' and the Youtube channel of David Kyle Foster the same one as in that last link
Returning to this forum and posting my progress regularly, as a way of having some accountability and sharing my issues
Finding a new Church where I
felt comfortable being completely honest and open with all the other members about my problem. This is a really big one. Have been a regular Church-goer for about 7 years but have never ever shared this porn struggle with other Church members before. Tried to share it with a previous Pastor but he stopped me before I said it! I don't blame him as he is an older gentleman and there is a big generation gap of life experience. Gen X (like me) and later are really screwed up! We grew up with divorce, video nasties, drugs, casual sex culture pushed at us as being the best thing ever and all the rest. I have found that a lot of us are pretty broken and we need to find other people who we can share that with.
In my case I had attended 'white collar' or 'aspirational' Churches where lifestyle or appearances were a big deal. This is no good. Find somewhere where people are just as screwed up as you, or MORE! And you can be 100% open with them. And/or a support group. Now I meet at least once a week with fellow Christians who know all about me and have no illusions that my 'respectable' look is really all that is going on. Just having to fess up to them every time I stumble has really helped me not to stumble. And they have provided amazing, God-given support at exactly the right moment when I was weakening, that helped me to avoid it. These are not special people (although they are great!) but it is the Holy Spirit working through them that is the special thing. - Honest born-again Christians anywhere will be exactly the same.
Volunteering.- I found this Church because it was the only one in my City that actually preaches the Gospel to people when giving out food to the poor and needy. Went along to help others, to try to 'be the Love of Jesus Christ to other people', and ended up being wonderfully ministered to myself!!
Well that volunteering stuff is also part of the 'Strategy' side. Because that is all about anticipating the enemy's attacks and heading them off.
One really important change of attitude for me was to understand that these are attacks on you from outside. As long as you're thinking 'wow I'm such a bad person, how terrible I am' you are reading from the devil's songbook. Like you said 'powerless over my compulsions'. They are NOT your compulsions!! They are the devil's compulsions. He is attacking you from OUTSIDE of you, to influence you to do evil. Now you have a choice to be passively led by that or ACTIVELY decide 'I am going to make a decision and take an action that will help stop stop this slide and make it difficult for it to continue'. But you have to remember, that influence is NOT YOU. It is the enemy. And that means that to win, to 'not watch porn' is NOT a passive thing, it is an ACTIVE thing. Because what is attacking you is NOT YOU. It is an active outside influence that is attacking you, that you have to TAKE ACTION to defeat. You cannot succeed by trying passively to 'not' do something. It is attacking against you it is not you. YOU are the one who has to harness Christ's Almighty power and stand on His Word to FIGHT that influence. You are in a war and you have to fight and with Christ you will win! That influence is an attack on you from OUTSIDE.
Here's some other strategy tips of mine for what they are worth:
MEMORISE the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm. Recite them out loud when you want to restore your soul to peace. It actually works. Also you can pick up the Bible and read out a random Psalm out loud. Open the Bible in the middle and you will be in Psalms. Pick any one (maybe a short one!) and read it. This is the most powerful weapon in the world. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself used this weapon to defeat the devil's temptation. It literally is more powerful than the entire universe. When this universe has completely burned up, the Words of God will remain True and equally powerful as they have ever been. YOU have the power and authority to repeat these Words and use these weapons. Jesus gave us that authority to put the devil under our feet. Use it!
SLEEP - Every single time I have stumbled in the last year (I think) it has been when I was tired/exhausted. + the devil will try to block you being AWARE that you are tired. So you don’t even really know! If you think you might be and are feeling down and vulnerable, stop what you are doing, stand up, walk to the bedroom, get into bed and switch the lights off (see - TAKE ACTION!). Sleep! When you wake up you will not feel so much like watching porn.
HOT CHOW - Nothing increases morale like hot food! It’s harder to forget God’s blessings and turn to sin with a full stomach!
ROUTINE - Probably the best thing in terms of ‘habits and strategy’ for combating porn addiction. Have a weekly and daily routine where activities are planned out, so you don’t have the gaps in time that the devil can exploit. For instance Church attendance, Bible Study, volunteering. Know what the programme is for you on every day of the week all through the day. Or at least the vulnerable days. My weakest time is Friday evening after a week at work. Now I volunteer at the Church Food Mission that night and am buzzed with the Christian fellowship and tired when I get back. This has really helped me.
VOLUNTEER - Amazing thing to do. Help out in a Gospel Mission, spreading the Word of God and the Good News of Jesus Christ’s Kingdom and giving people food. The Holy Spirit will bless you and fill you and keep out the enemy’s influence when you do this.
NO MOVIES!! At all. Or fictional TV shows, or games or comic books, or any FANTASY. If you are unsure if it counts as fantasy, ask the other people on the forum. Stay in reality - what God has made. It’s much better! The longer you keep this 'no fantasy' mindset, the more you will keep that stuff away from your life. The less it is around to tempt you. To win in this is simply to remove yourself from the battle. Separate yourself from what is spiritually dangerous to you. Instead I have cultivated interest in non-fictional stuff that has healthy values. As a long-time media-head, it is difficult for me just not to watch any audiovisual media at all. But I have found content that is at least not bad for me and has decent role models that interests me without including sexual content. What interests you? I am crazy about the show 'Deadliest Catch'. I have watched basically every single episode in all 15 or so seasons, this year (including spin-off series!) Now that's finished, I am watching a ton of documentaries on Israel, that is also really inspiring.
DO SOMETHING HEALTHY AND OUTDOORSY - get in touch with God’s creation. I like to go surfing. What about you? Walking, hiking, fishing, get out there! Be blessed by the beauty if His Creation, and be reminded how wonderful and beautiful is what He has in store for those who love Him!
GO EASY ON YOURSELF - A while ago I heard a sermon where someone said 'if you insult the creation, you insult the Creator!' He was saying that you should never say things bad about yourself. That is insulting God! This was a bombshell to me as I spent half my time aggressively berating myself on my failures and faults. But I have had to repent. God made me! And He made you! And He knows what He is doing! He loves us and we have to accept that Love by being easy on ourselves and giving ourselves a break.
You probably know all this stuff already Rical and am pretty sure in many ways you are way ahead of me, but it blessed me to write it all down, and hopefully it blesses you in some way. PTL!!