Forgiveness log

I was thinking of burning it. Thanks for confirming what was already in my thoughts. Might end up burning many, lol! Yeah, I already let loose on another one. Didn't do anything with that yet. This forgiveness thing is not for the faint of heart.

I do think it's a good start. I know it's not easy for you.

My thoughts are that the most impactful letters of forgiveness mention the words, "I forgive you." at the end. The damage and hurt are still expressed, but forgiving at the end of such a letter implies that you've laid it rest, and you're choosing to move on. I'm figuring that for many, this is easier said than done.

Wow Amy that was well said. My wife has to do the same thing. Constantly having to remind herself that she's forgiven the person.

I, myself, can easily forgive, forget, and move on. And I know others that share my same thoughts. So it can be challenging for some people to understand how difficult forgiveness for others. Just because forgiveness comes easier for people like me doesn't mean that I should expect it easy for others.

It can't be easy for you to hear the details of this affair lady. I can understand your anger towards her and the anger you feel toward your husband. The way your husband handled this makes me think there was some sort of abuse or neglect in his growing up years. It is so easy for the things we experienced in childhood to carry through to our adulthood in the way we handle things. I see this in myself all the time.

Finally wrote out the letter, detailed everything that they did, quoted scripture and included that I forgave her a couple of times. Then I watched it burn in the fire place. It's still hard to not feel angry towards her and all that she did. Still hard to let go of what my husband did, too. I mean, if he were my boyfriend and he cheated on me I'd dump him. But we are married and he is a Christian who I can see is changing and I know God wants us to be together. I just feel so upset and hurt. Today was a rage day, I got so upset at him, throwing profanities at him and feeling like giving up. He didn't even provoke me. I just got a bill in the mail that reminded me of a time when we first went to see our pastor for P, this was 1.5 years after the affair and before the affair was disclosed to me. My husband was in such an unhealthy state of mind that he basically gave up really wanting to follow God and he became lukewarm. While we were in counseling, our son was at the pool with the baby sitter and he fell in the pool and almost drowned. The "other woman" was there and contacted my husband checking to see if our son was fine. He had to be rushed to the ER where he was absolutely fine but they still did a chest x-ray. And now we finally get the ER bill for $500! If that stupid affair had never happened we would have never needed to go to counseling, and all these extra bills for child care and counseling and that stupid ER bill would never exist! Ugh, and he was so concerned about $$$ during that time. Well, now we are reaping the consequences. Keep praying for us, the road to rebuilding is SLOW INDEED. Sometimes I wonder if I was stupid to stay. Still, I know God wants us together. It just sucks to feel pain often

Amy, yes it's hard to also know that he caused this problem. I do need to write letters to him, too. This is such a crappy process. Talked with my friend who helped me to know that I need to place this woman in His hands because He's much better at taking care of these people.