Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 11:14:23 GMT -7
Hey will... I'm doing ok for the most part... I'm just in that " it is what it is" phase i guess. It definitely does help to share on here. Its hard sometimes because i know it seems like divorce is the best option and it would make all my problems go away.. but im just not so sure about that. So I'm choosing to stand by him.. only time will tell!
I am praying and meditating with God on a more regular basis. Waiting to listen to his word. I think he wants me to know that my whole life doesn't revolve around my Husband. That i can be happy and a whole person without leaning on my H for happiness or emotional support. I feel that is a lesson i need to learn. I am still working on all my flaws and strive to be a better person daily.
I have recently learned that i feel my Husband is on a very harsh learning path of his own. He has allowed his character to change and God is handling him according to his will.. Like for example. You all know we drive a rig so traffic violations are a big deal. He seems to have zero respect for simple traffic laws sometimes. We have gotten into a few arguments about this. Finally i just stopped trying to correct his behavior. I shut my mouth and let God handle him. After lots of prayer... He got 2 traffic violations a week apart. TWO! thats a big deal and it could cost us our jobs. Its this kind of issue that he just simply lacks obedience. It is making me take a strong stance on whats gonna be best for my life if he keeps making bad choices for his life.. because he for sure insists thinking of the affects his behaviors are having on our life as a couple. This kind of issue has affected so many parts of our life as a couple.
I will have to write you guys more later.. i have had a lot going on lately..
I hope you are doing well Will.. Thanks for checking on me.
Hugs and Prayers to all BG gang..
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 17:40:33 GMT -7
Hugs, GHP. It seems that God is in a season of bringing us back under His wings. He has been dealing with me and drawing me closer. It's a new season for me. Your renewed closeness with God will bring more blessings and upheaval as He roots out what isnt producing fruit in our lives. I am praying for you.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2018 10:02:57 GMT -7
Thanks Amy..
Good Morning All.. Its shaping up to be a crappy morning.. i got called a **** by my H right from the start this morning. I was asking him for his wallet to get cards out i needed and he had some money folded up and i said in a joking tone .. AHH HA.. Your hiding dollars... Lol... he said in No! Its in plain sight ****! My H knows that cursing at me or calling me names is a hot button but he still does it all the time! But this time his usual bullying scare tactics didn't work. I was trying to calmly speak to him and ask him why he feels ok to just call me names when i choose everyday not to call him names or speak disrespectful to him. Then he tried to tell me to shut up and stop pushing the issue or we would really fight. I told him .. No! Im not afraid of him and his usual bag of tricks that he uses by threatening or cursing or turning the tables to make it seem like im in the wrong for being upset.. to minimizes my feelings.. its just simply is not gonna work this time. I'm not going to be made to feel bad or feel im in the wrong for being upset i was called a ****!
Im proud of myself! i stuck up for myself and shut down his gaslighting tactics.. woohooo! And i didn't use one single curse word or name calling to do it!
I have been sick for like 3 months with one thing or another.. The doctors are thinking it could be an autoimmune disease because i get real bad mouth ulcers.. like 15 or 20.. i cant eat,drink , brush my teeth or talk .. its horrible!
So far i have been tested for lupus and it came back negative so the Drs are thinking it could all be stress related! I usually only get all the mouth ulcers 2 or 3 days after i have been put under stress. My body is acting out now over the years of issue'sand stress. If we find out it is stress related. The Dr told my H and i that my life will have to be evaluated to get the major stressers reduced before their are bigger health scares because my immune system is wiped out! My anxiety shoots up major over things i used to be able to handle like a dentist visit or just little things.
I recently broke my foot.i saw a double fatality accident (57y mother 31y son)and i stopped to give aid and i tripped over some shredded tire and snap! Broke foot! The accident was so horrible. It has stayed with me now.. its just very hard to forget. Just so sad! Anyways.. I had to take 2 weeks off which was a VERY MUCH needed break. Its terrible that you have to break a foot to get off work. I was just gonna ride with my H while he continued to drive but he decided he really didn't want me to go. He wanted me to stay home and rest.Thats a joke! He knew me staying home was gonna be no rest because i had no help to get around and my grown son and his family are at my home and their are lots of added drama with that. My time off was horrible and littered with nothing but stress! I told him i would rather ride with him.. he refused! So he went out on the truck with out me which was a huge red flag. HUGE! I just stayed in my bible and prayed at this point if he messes up im sure God will reveal what i need to know. He came back all sweet and lovey dovey which is what he usually does when he is feeling guilty about something. He has a pattern and I definitely noticed. I ask him point black if he cheated on me or used P or MB.. he said no! I guess we will have to see if that turns out to be true. The truth always come to light!
If he could have been honest and just said babe i really could use a break because were together all the time. I could have understood and even respected him for telling me but the way he just refused to let me go with out any explanation as to why still boggles my mind. However i am not dwelling on it. It does no good to worry! I have learned that the hard way.
I guess im just kinda venting now. Like i said in my previous post their has been alot going on.
Toodles for now.. Hugs!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2018 10:14:49 GMT -7
Oh.. and i just have to add what he just told me.. I said so whats up with the issue today.. he said That i took offense to something minor and i need to get over it. It's no big deal! So that leads me to ask the question and take a poll.. Do you get upset or feel disrespected when you spouse calls you names or curses at you or used curse words to get their point across...In any circumstances? ? Cause i definitely dont think im overreacting for being called names or cursed at! Lets see what you guys think!
|
|
|
Post by ladystrong on Sept 12, 2018 15:42:29 GMT -7
GHP, I think you already know what’s right and wrong, you don’t really need a poll to gain perspective. I pray that you would continue to seek after God and find freedom from the drama of the people who surround you. Sorry to hear about your foot, I hope it heals or healed properly! *HUGS*
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2018 17:44:32 GMT -7
GHP, you just need to ask yourself would Christ treat his bride that way and you have your answer. The thing is, your husband is living in the world and a slave to his sin. He listens to and acts like the God he has chosen to follow and that isn't Christ.
Keep following after God. Pray for your husband and give him to God to deal with. I will be praying for him. He isn't beyond redemption until he is in the grave. I have faith in our Father to work in your husband's heart and change him to be the man God sees him to be.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2018 22:55:40 GMT -7
Hey Lady.. thanks for the prayers.. my foit is healing nicely so far.. Of course i know whats right ... lol! I just find other people's thoughts interesting.. my mom is 64 and she said that unfortunately talking horrible to each other has become the norm... she said thats just how life has changed.. Her answer suprised me.. then i told her well.. thats unacceptable we just simply need to do better.. Hugs friend!
Amy.. i definitely believe God will have to deal with my H on Gods own time. Their is nothing else i can do but pray and not let him take me down with him.. i can't fix him and i dont even really want to anymore. I'm just glad im feeling a little more stable with in myself.. That has been a blessing.. Hugs friend!..
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2018 7:48:58 GMT -7
Today is our anniversary... It just hurts that it seems to be no big deal to Him... just like any other ordinary day.
Along time ago 2 young kids.. madly in love ..said i do on this day... i still remember.. i wish he did !
I think im gonna be sad today...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2018 8:03:12 GMT -7
Now im crying.. and i dont want to be ... its just so frustrating.. i just want to suck it up and stop.. Just stop..
|
|
|
Post by ladystrong on Sept 14, 2018 8:52:16 GMT -7
I’m sorry . Jesus feels your hurt and weeps with you. Crying is a good way to get it out. I’ve found that holding in my emotions just makes it worse. *HUGS*
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2018 15:18:48 GMT -7
Hugs sweetheart. Let out your pain and hurt. Christ is with you, holding you while you cry. He understands your pain. Let Him comfort you.
|
|
teetop
Member
541-646-4564
Posts: 173
Occupation: RETIRED
Interests: EVERYTHING CHRISTIAN
Days of Integrity: 0
|
Post by teetop on Sept 18, 2018 10:00:44 GMT -7
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2018 23:34:12 GMT -7
Hi teetop... Thanks so much for the kind words. Yes.. DIVORCE. The very hard sticky subject. I dont really judge someone's choice because i haven't walked a mile in their shoes.. so to speak. I know lots of people who have divorced. It always saddens me. I take my walk day by day now. I used to see my future more clearly but now im not sure. Their are days with my H that I'm not sure were gonna make it. Sometimes i just dont know what to do but i sit still, get quite and listen for God to help me. I'm not the smartest person or as well versed on the bible as most everbody else on BG but "God hates divorce" always stuck with me. Hate is a strong word! Or atleast to me it is.. Maybe their is something I'm supposed to be learning from all of this. Its hard and i hurt alot. But deep down in my heart i do truly love my H. Sometimes i have no idea why! after all these years and all these fights and all the hurt..i still look for him by my side. Call me crazy and heck maybe i am totally nuts.. im still giving all i got. Waiting.. praying.. hoping.. wishing.. That one day my H will come to his senses and we will have an amazing bond again.. Let Gods will be done!
I pray we all find our happiness. Our peace.. That Gods will be done in all our lives. Hugs...
I will pray for you.. I'm so sorry about the eviction.. i feel the same way. It always seems like its raining on me .. one thing after another.. after another.. Hang in their.. this world wants to destroy our lives. We gotta fight back. Stay strong. Hugs...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2018 15:42:57 GMT -7
My sister, Cathy Miner, had a vision from God and she wrote it down. I wanted to share it with you, GHP.
Here it is:
On the day you were created, God laughed.
God stared at the tiny light hovering above his palm and smiled in wonder and joy at what he'd created. "This one is my favorite," he said.
"You always say that," Jesus replied with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, but this one is special," God whispered with awe as he stared down at the flicker. "Do you see it? Do you see her?"
Jesus ran his hand around the bright aura that surrounded the little soul and laughed when it danced about with joy. "Yes."
"This one is special," God whispered again.
"They all are."
God nodded, still transfixed by the one he held in his hand. "Yes." He bent his lips to the light and whispered, "You are mine."
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He still looks at you the same way as he did when he created you! With joy, and wonder, and love. He loves you!
Hebrews 13
8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2018 20:37:58 GMT -7
I love that... i got teary eyed.. Thanks Amy..
Its nice to know God loves us so much.. This definitely gives me happy thoughts..
She saw that in a vision.. how wonderful. What a blessing.. Thanks for sharing it with me.. Your the best.. Hugs friend...
|
|