Accountability partner needed

Welcome back to BG! Starting an accountability thread here is a good start.

Have you tried Celebrate Recovery? I just found a woman I can talk to about my hubby's SA. And I know my hubby is looking for a sponsor too. I had one, but they didn't click.

I'm 42 but I do know that I struggled with sexual fantasies and M when I was a teen until I rededicated my life to Christ when I was 18. I was so started for affection growing up, that I almost gave in to my boyfriend when I was 17. I think I was in love with the idea of love, but I'm not saying that you do though )

Even now, I have to watch my thought life b/c my husband and I are separated. It's hard for me to go w/o sex too b/c we've been married to 19 years. I just try to pray when I find myself going that route.

I'm not say that we can "read and pray every day and everything will be OK" type thing. I think having a sponsor in real life is great b/c you can give them a call when you're struggling. Or, you can post on here if you're struggling as well. Many guys keep an accountability thread and some post on it every day esp in the beginning.

Take care and I'll be prayin' for ya!

I sent you a private message!

Good for you for being brave enough to prioritize your healing! It's not easy to be open about it. Are you in a bigger city?

Stev,

We lived in a town of 1200 or a one horse town and the nearest real town was Madison, WI which had about 250K, but it was an hour away.

There weren't any good churches anywhere. In 2003, we didn't even have internet or great cell phone service.

Where I live, there are over 400 SBC alone. I feel bad you don't have a place to worship and have sponsorship. What about starting your own SA group?

I've thought about doing that maybe when my youngest graduates. I'd like a group solely for women who have been through betrayal and it would be based on Marsha Means book, "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse" or the Trauma Model instead of a Codependency Model.

Thank you very much all for your encouragement! I realized that I had posted my story here before, but at some point I deleted it - maybe because I was ashamed. Anyway, it's great to get at least this kind of support! Yesterday morning, I slipped again. It can be very discouraging, but I'm praying that the Lord may give me strength to keep my thoughts under control and not to keep acting out on them. So I'm really grateful for this community. I would appreciate your prayer support as well!

Well done Daniela on checking back with us. Well Done.


I'm glad you're choosing to keep posting. My hope is that you don't wait so long next time. Sharing with us on a regular basis (daily if necessary) really does help. A lot!


Keep us posted on how you are doing with your thoughts and your actions. Please also consider letting us know if you need to fix any areas where your relationship with God is lacking. We cannot do this alone. By myself, I can do nothing, but with Christ, all things are possible.


Then, you'll see God changing your life in a very amazing, sometimes painful, way. And you will not want to go back to your old self. And you'll find God bringing opportunities to you where you will be used by Him in a way you never thought possible.


Lord,

Thank you that our sister, Daniela, has chosen to make this very courageous decision to get help from you and from BG for her sin. May you continue to work in her life. Bless the quiet times that she commits to you each day. Give her assurance that Your love is enough for her to get through each day. And may she experience Your love in a greater way than ever. So that she will be a testimony of your delivering power. Thank you, Lord. We receive. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

DELETED

Daniela wrote:

Yes, it feels good.  P feels good to me.  If it didn't feel good, I wouldn't do it.  But along with P, MB and fantasies are not reality.  And because of that, we start to understand how that hurts ourselves, God, and others around us.

Much of life is about surrendering to God those things that we hold onto so tightly.  

Jesus said that whoever saves his life will lose it, but whosoever loses his life for my sake will save it.

And surrendering to God those things that make us feel so good is like experiencing a death.  Thus, we now have the opportunity to truly experience these words of Jesus as opposed to simply learning about them in our heads.

Daniela, continue to draw closer to God.  And continue to surrender these areas of your life to Him.  And keep posting on this forum.  You cannot do this alone.  And you're right. After this young man moves along, another man will come along to offer you that magical image in your head to get you high.  And when you understand that God has a better way for you, and you make that deathly leap to refrain from indulging in that "feel good" charge, your life will change in a dramatic way.  


Love will have a whole new meaning for you.  You will understand men in a way that you never thought possible.  We are not knights in shining armor full of romance.  We are very broken, frustrated people too.  And Jesus will shine through you so that others can be blessed by your newfound wisdom and freedom via the Lord.

Thank you for sharing,

KK