KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Apr 10, 2023 7:30:45 GMT -7
Day 184
Saturday was our youngest daughter's 12th birthday. Our oldest son traveled from Iowa to see her. And we took her shopping and later had a small birthday party with a few friends. And one of her desires was to have an Easter Egg hunt in our yard which we haven't done in a couple years. I thought the kids were too old for that. I was wrong. Of course, night time is the best time with flashlights.
Yesterday, we traveled to Wisconsin to see old friends. They think of my wife as a daughter. My wife and I brought our face paints and balloons and the kids kept us busy while we entertained them. They blessed us with a hotel stay since their house was completely filled with our relatives staying over.
It's been such a successful weekend. Toxicity level 4. Didn't look at women. But had to bounce the eyes a lot. Especially at the shopping mall. People were everywhere. My head got a little foggy doing all this bouncing. But it's a lot better than looking.
Happy Easter everyone.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Apr 14, 2023 4:53:33 GMT -7
Day 188
I've come down with a bad flu. I've been coming down with symptoms all week. It first started with the back pain. Then the sore throat. Now, I've got the lightness and dizziness in my head. I'm going to have to take the day off from work today to get better.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 14, 2023 6:14:37 GMT -7
Praying for you
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Apr 14, 2023 8:27:41 GMT -7
Thank you Ɖσмιиιc. Other than the sickness and the loss of income from not working today. I'm really in a good place when it comes to custody of my eyes and mind. This is a gift. I've been at levels 3-4 over the past few weeks.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 14, 2023 17:28:12 GMT -7
I'm proud of you brother and I hope you are blessed.
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Post by Will on Apr 14, 2023 17:54:18 GMT -7
Chocolate and orange juice always works for me! Be careful bro, the enemy often uses this kind of thing to catch you off your guard, especially when things are going well, if my experience is anything to go by! Get well soon bro!
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Apr 25, 2023 15:36:21 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on May 2, 2023 5:27:06 GMT -7
Thank you Jesus. Good work Kevin.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 2, 2023 10:24:35 GMT -7
Thanks Ɖσмιиιc, I was reading an Old Post of mine from two years ago. And wow! What a change. What a difference my life is now from where it was just 2 years ago. I'm on day 206 now. My toxicity level has been ranging from 4-5 over the past week. My relationship with God has been a bit inconsistent. That might be why lust and fantasy has been an issue. Still relying upon fleshly tools and not on God's power. Today, I've expressed a lot more thankfulness towards Him for freedom. I do feel freedom. This is a great life! So I have a lot of Hope. I like the direction I'm going in. And I'll be excited to reach day 300. That will be a significant milestone.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 3, 2023 5:12:13 GMT -7
I was fantasizing a lot last night. Toxicity level 7. I didn't realize what was happening until I looked closer at my sober day timer.
I'm within a week from being 7 months sober...
Milestones... Ugh. They always throw me off. Anyways, I'll commit to keeping my mind on the Lord. Stay in prayer. Continually. That should help.
Day 207
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Post by Will on May 3, 2023 18:54:28 GMT -7
Milestones... Ugh. They always throw me off.
So true! Hey what does your 'sober day timer' consist of?
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 4, 2023 5:11:11 GMT -7
I use the Sober Time app. By accident, I clicked the link that led me to a community forum talkingsober.com I've been a member of them since 2016, and the community comprises of hundreds of members breaking free from a variety of addictions, the most common being alcohol.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 8, 2023 22:07:50 GMT -7
Day 213
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on May 14, 2023 1:06:50 GMT -7
Good, God is happy. I'm thinking you and your wife is very much happy and at peace now. I'm happy for you.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 17, 2023 5:32:16 GMT -7
Day 221.
At my Simple Steps meeting last Friday, someone mentioned how sobriety was awful. I know he was having a tough time, but I took a moment to remind him and everyone there that sobriety is not awful. Sobriety is good.
Our flesh deludes us into thinking that sin is good; that it fulfils. But it doesn't. It's a lie. I will never say again that the sin of lust, porn, fornication provides pleasure. Instead, I might say that I fell for the illusion that sin produces pleasure. The devil lies to us. We're not missing out on all the fun by choosing sobriety. Instead, we're truly missing out on all the fun by choosing to act out.
Same with using stress as a trigger. I will never assume that porn reduces stress. Because when I use, I actually feel more stressed. I've been deluded. If I see stress as a trigger to use, then I'm assuming that porn reduces stress which is a lie.
But I do admit that I've not connected with God as much as I should. Today, I want to change that. He is my master. I may have learned a lot during this journey, but God still wants me to lean on Him more than on His wisdom.
The change in my life when it comes to managing custody of my eyes and mind is significant. To go through the day not lusting because I'm not looking has taken me to a place of stable equilibrium. As people are understandably dressing different to accommodate for the warmer weather, I'm unaffected. If I don't look, I'm not going to lust. And if I don't lust, I'm not going to crave. And if I don't crave, I'm going to cave. Game over. I win.
Praise God
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