KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 7, 2020 21:39:59 GMT -7
I remember before internet you had to expose yourself in public at a video store.. which I did. Before the VCR it was mainly women's magazines and catalogs or the smut magazines to get a cheap thrill. Yep, I did all that before the internet too.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 11, 2020 17:05:55 GMT -7
I've been craving today. I'll be okay. I'm just desiring to act out a bit. I've not craved so much this year and wondered what might be going on. And then I realized that I'm at 99 days. Those stupid milestones. What is it about them? I thought I might breeze through 100 days without craving. But nooooo!
My flesh is there, patiently waiting for the next opportunity for me to let my guard down. I lost custody of my eyes and mind today. I've had better days, but I've also had much worse. I'll take it. And I won't give up,... ever.
My CR meeting was good yesterday. Last week, one of the leaders mentioned to me that I should be more careful with my words during my shares because they're borderline triggering. Well, I got a little worked up about that. I called some members. One agreed. Another chose to leave the group to attend SA because they don't talk about sex enough, and we're in a group for sexual purity. Sometimes, I feel some members there prefer to talk about their addictions to caffeine, chocolate, TV, sugar, spice, and everything nice, but they don't want to talk about what's really bothering them.
So I was concerned about whether this meeting was for me. But last night, I felt more assured. One of the leaders openly shared that he struggles with pornography, lust, and compulsive masturbation. I shared the same. And it's all good. I try to not be explicit, but I'll just be careful to chose my words wisely to not trigger anyone, yet still maintain honesty.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Mar 12, 2020 10:44:33 GMT -7
Sure is a war isn’t it? Can’t let our guard down. Only takes a moment of the right brew and the flesh is back into control. Stay strong brother! The group I was in at our Church that recently stopped meeting was a Faithful and True ministry program. Sometimes we would get some off members in it but everyone pretty much shared how and what they wanted to. It was a pretty relaxed group and most of the time small with people coming and going. I miss the fellowship but at the end it just became a share time with no direction. There is a Celebrate Recovery at this Church now. Not sure why I’m hesitating checking it out.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2020 16:18:01 GMT -7
Sure is a war isn’t it? Can’t let our guard down. Only takes a moment of the right brew and the flesh is back into control. Stay strong brother! The group I was in at our Church that recently stopped meeting was a Faithful and True ministry program. Sometimes we would get some off members in it but everyone pretty much shared how and what they wanted to. It was a pretty relaxed group and most of the time small with people coming and going. I miss the fellowship but at the end it just became a share time with no direction. There is a Celebrate Recovery at this Church now. Not sure why I’m hesitating checking it out. The CR that I went to had direction. They worshipped, prayed, had a mini sermon and shared with input from the leaders and group members and closed with prayer. Then they had coffee and eats after for fellowship.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2020 16:24:55 GMT -7
I've been craving today. I'll be okay. I'm just desiring to act out a bit. I've not craved so much this year and wondered what might be going on. And then I realized that I'm at 99 days. Those stupid milestones. What is it about them? I thought I might breeze through 100 days without craving. But nooooo! My flesh is there, patiently waiting for the next opportunity for me to let my guard down. I lost custody of my eyes and mind today. I've had better days, but I've also had much worse. I'll take it. And I won't give up,... ever. My CR meeting was good yesterday. Last week, one of the leaders mentioned to me that I should be more careful with my words during my shares because they're borderline triggering. Well, I got a little worked up about that. I called some members. One agreed. Another chose to leave the group to attend SA because they don't talk about sex enough, and we're in a group for sexual purity. Sometimes, I feel some members there prefer to talk about their addictions to caffeine, chocolate, TV, sugar, spice, and everything nice, but they don't want to talk about what's really bothering them. So I was concerned about whether this meeting was for me. But last night, I felt more assured. One of the leaders openly shared that he struggles with pornography, lust, and compulsive masturbation. I shared the same. And it's all good. I try to not be explicit, but I'll just be careful to chose my words wisely to not trigger anyone, yet still maintain honesty. Have you been spending time fellowshipping with God? I find that when I neglect that area I have more temptations. To tell you the truth about words triggering, it really depends on the person and how hard they are being hit with temptations. You are good to try and watch what you say because you don't want to help someone stumble but ultimately it's their responsibility....it's their choice to take that step into sin.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 13, 2020 7:35:04 GMT -7
The group I was in at our Church that recently stopped meeting was a Faithful and True ministry program. I believe that was stared by Dr. Mark Lasser. His book was originally titled "The Secret Sin" and was later renamed "Faithful and True". He's been around for ages, as long as Patrick Carnes. I met him at a small convention in 1993. You should give the CR meeting a go. I think you would benefit from it.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 13, 2020 7:39:17 GMT -7
Have you been spending time fellowshipping with God? I find that when I neglect that area I have more temptations. To be honest, no. My times with the Lord have been severely lacking. Thanks for the prompt. You are right. 🙂
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 13, 2020 7:43:29 GMT -7
I do want to share that yesterday, I hit the 100 day mark. Currently celebrating day 101.
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Post by Will on Mar 13, 2020 16:18:34 GMT -7
Awesome Kevin! God bless you
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Mar 13, 2020 19:56:51 GMT -7
Nice! I'm at 7.......
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2020 4:57:20 GMT -7
You are all doing great! It doesn't matter the number of days. It matters the closeness you have with our Father. The number of days as an overcomer will come with the closeness you have with God. Keep going!
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 17, 2020 15:22:42 GMT -7
Checking in, day 105.
With the Coronavirus comes a lot of unexpected life changes, and it can create a lot of stress.
I've watched a lot of my buddies relapse this week, partly due to the fact that their face-to-face meetings have been cancelled. Many lean on these meetings to get support. Losing them creates a significant impact.
When one avenue of support fails, it's important to have backups. I do not go into this battle unarmed and unprotected.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2020 17:51:52 GMT -7
Checking in, day 105. With the Coronavirus comes a lot of unexpected life changes, and it can create a lot of stress. I've watched a lot of my buddies relapse this week, partly due to the fact that their face-to-face meetings have been cancelled. Many lean on these meetings to get support. Losing them creates a significant impact. When one avenue of support fails, it's important to have backups. I do not go into this battle unarmed and unprotected. It really bothers me to hear that many lean on face to face meetings to stay sober. Your main support needs to be the Father. He never fails and He is always available.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,744
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 18, 2020 5:06:06 GMT -7
It really bothers me to hear that many lean on face to face meetings to stay sober. Your main support needs to be the Father. He never fails and He is always available. I'm not bothered by others need for a meeting. It can be like church. Fellowship is good, and God uses people to sharpen us. I missed both my CR meeting yesterday and church was cancelled last Sunday. So I'll have to adapt to both. For me, I understand that I need to work on both my relationship with God and with others. So yeah, I'll be taking steps to draw closer to him. But I still have a phone, and I can still call other phone buddies each day and I can still deepen the relationship with my wife and family.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2020 5:58:10 GMT -7
It really bothers me to hear that many lean on face to face meetings to stay sober. Your main support needs to be the Father. He never fails and He is always available. I'm not bothered by others need for a meeting. It can be like church. Fellowship is good, and God uses people to sharpen us. I missed both my CR meeting yesterday and church was cancelled last Sunday. So I'll have to adapt to both. For me, I understand that I need to work on both my relationship with God and with others. So yeah, I'll be taking steps to draw closer to him. But I still have a phone, and I can still call other phone buddies each day and I can still deepen the relationship with my wife and family. I know that you are not one of those that lean on face to face meetings. You are working on your relationship with the Father plus using other tools to keep yourself in victory mode. The reason it bothered me is because people will never have lasting victory if they lean solely on other people or natural things. God has to be your main focus to win this battle. It hurts my spirit to know that others are still in the dark about this fact. Once you get your focus right, lasting victory is achievable.
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