Quiet desperation

Nor do I have a solution to your concerns. One can certainly make a distinction between hating sin and hating the sinner, but I'm not sure this leaves me completely comfortable with some of the Bible's words about judgment. Personally, I'm finding in recent years that my resistance to judgment of self or others is becoming a barrier between me and Christianity. Where this will lead in the end isn't yet clear. In any case, I understand your discomfort.