"Masturbation with out Lusting"?

Romans 8

Hi Paulos,
I find Galatians 5 to be a powerful chapter about the power of yielding to the Holy Spirit.  I heard a message recently on Eph. 5:18, which explained that being filled with the Sppirit is the same as being controlled by the Spirit.  The picture is that filling ourselves with wine controls our behavior, to our detriment.
I wonder how your wife might answer the question, "Honey, I am praying and seeking to choose and exhibit in my daily life the fruit of the Spirit so I may more effectively love you as Christ loves the church.  What choices of behavior would speak that most volubly to you?"
TruthSeeker

This thread has shifted from my question, which I want to renew and sharpen.  First let me reiterate that my conscience is seeking understanding; I'm not wishing to be contrary.  When I'm tempted to masturbate, I tend to abandon the view that this deed is a sin, the view toward which I lean, and rationalize instead the view that it is a natural outlet.  Both views are well represented in literature on the subject by Christian authors, even conservative-evangelical ones, so there's never any difficulty lining up authorities and doing a mental flip-flop.  I seek grounds to put a stop to this oscillation.

Briefly: Of the many shades of opinion out there, the two that stand out to me are these.  (1) M. is universally and objectively a moral evil, because it violates the unitive end of sexuality (i.e. to join two persons in conjugal affection).  (2) M., precisely because there is no relationship, does not violate any specific biblical injunction about sexual practice, all of which concern relationships; it is more comparable (for a man) to a nocturnal emission than to coitus, and may be viewed as a deliberate seminal emission as opposed to the haphazard, spontaneous ones of nature, therefore as an adjustment; because it lends itself to habitual practice there is a danger in it if done excessively, or as a comfort for non-sexual traumas; but it is a potentially noxious act that, like drugs, can be justified under controlled circumstances to relieve human misery.  According to the first view, any human being who masturbates thereby sins.  According to the latter, m. is off limits to sexual addicts or others who are deeply troubled by it (as an alcoholic must be a teetotaler), but the phenomenon itself would fall into the category of Romans 14:5, 22: "Let each be fully convinced in his own mind."  "Blessed are those who have no reason to condemn themselves because of what they approve."

In the absence of a direct verse in the Bible to address the issue of masturbation, to what criterion do we turn for a decision?  Do we go to 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, where marriage is the sole remedy for inflamed and unsatisfied sexual desire?  Or do we go to 1 Timothy 4:4, where "everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, provided it is received with thanksgiving"?

To add a personal note.  Neither my parents nor my church mentioned masturbation as I was growing up, so I was completely unprepared for the information that came my way in a health class at school when I was 12, and by 15 I had learned.  The first book I turned to for guidance was a college health textbook on my father's shelf, which gave the usual secular line that m. is a developmental stage that will be transcended in marriage.  On my confessing it to a youth pastor, he told me it was probably not to worry about as long as it was a physical act free of lust, citing Matthew 5:28 on the lust end.  The first Christian book I consulted was Lewis Smedes' Sex for Christians.  Smedes was a highly respected professor of ethics at Fuller Seminary, and concluded that m. is not a sin, that the guilt people feel over it is from other sources in their experience.  Herbert Miles, in Sexual Understanding Before Marriage, recommends m. as part of a program of self-control, i.e., to forestall premarital sexual exploration.  Finally, when, at the age of 30, I went to a Christian counselor employed by a large, respected evangelical church, after a few personal questions she decided my practice of m. was not a psychological problem.  This is my legacy.  It is not easy to overcome when the biblical material is so sparse, the arguments from principles are so indirect, there are different possible starting points for reasoning, and weighty authors are found on both sides.

I was raised in a very conservative home and church where dancing, moderate use of alcohol, playing cards, etc. were strictly prohibited.  I need assurance that my queasy, negative feeling about masturbation, for which I seek some sort of scriptural explanation, is not just the reflex of a restrictive background and a scrupulous conscience, but comes from a true sense of moral reality.  Otherwise, how can I know that my attempts to quit masturbating, which have never been fully successful for 37 years, are not a struggle against nature itself that is doomed to fail?

I'm suggesting that Genesis 1:26-8 and 2:18-24 can resolve the issue.  These verses hold up an ideal in which man and woman are complementary.  From this ideal Jesus argued the permanence of monogamy (Matthew 19:4-6).  I would like to conclude the necessity of interpersonal communion in sexual intercourse.  That would mean that m. is always wrong.  Am I out on a limb, or do others see the same implication?

Guitarist63, Many thanks for passing on what you've found helpful about meditating on Jesus' sufferings.  I'm aware of hematohydrosis (Greek for "blood"--haema "sweating"--hydrosis), as a physician once drew it to my attention.  In Hebrews 12:4, what the recipients of the epistle are resisting is ostracization of Christians by the surrounding society (compare 10:32-4 and 13:13), and not to have shed blood means their community has not yet faced any actual martyrdoms as yet. So I'd hesitate apply this verse to our common sexual struggle.  I do take encouragement from your words that some have indeed been able to overcome masturbation, and am continuing in prayer for you.  By the way, does what I'm saying about Genesis 1:26-8 and 2:18-24 make sense to you?

Thank you, Guitarist63.  That's the sort of feedback I need.  

Dear J714,
Have you read www.blazinggrace.org/Whatlustdoes.htm
For me, lust has been a cruel master, stripped me off from joy, dignity, and everything I have. And, I think... those times were hellish enough...

Forgive me for asking this,
Are you afraid for your salvation?
In your mind, what do you think God feel for you? Angry? Neglecting?
Who do you picture God? As a Shepherd? As a Discipline Sergeant? As a Teacher?

Wish I can help you more...