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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 5, 2023 0:11:27 GMT -7
I attended another 12 step meeting today. I am not flirting or making contact with any past persons of addiction (qualifier). I'm learning the difference between toxic shame and healthy guilt. I"m learning that God is gonna help me get and stay sober today.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 5, 2023 5:42:43 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 6, 2023 6:56:07 GMT -7
Today I saw my therapist. I talked about my childhood, and many issues. I learned a lot about myself and what is normal.
I went to another 12 step meeting today. I met a struggling guy and hope to help. I am happy to be here and alive.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 9, 2023 21:41:22 GMT -7
My mom told me today that Bo, my 1/2 brother, has stage 4 lung cancer and it's spreading to the brain. I don't think he knows the Lord, but can you pray for him? Thank you.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,742
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jul 9, 2023 21:58:11 GMT -7
This is horrible. Not many people survive this one. I'm so sorry. He's really going to need a miracle.
Lord, you are bigger than all of this. We pray for your supernatural healing power to take place in Dominic's brother. Also, we pray for his salvation. Thank you, Lord. We pray and receive this in Jesus' name. Amen
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 9, 2023 22:01:48 GMT -7
Amen.
Thank you brother.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 9, 2023 22:16:35 GMT -7
It has been two months since contact with the PoA/Qualifier (LAA term for person of addiction). My heart is made strong and sanity is returning. It's insane how fast and hard my heart loses and opens for anyone with a smile and kindness. Not today. Thank you Jesus. Jesus is my Higher Power (God). I pray to Him for help. I cry to Him for help. I listen to His Word for the spiritual food for my soul. The recovery material I'm reading are secondary. It's interesting how I keep learning new words (i.e "Limerance") which are kind of like old words for obsession (mental fixations). Seems to be a thing in recovery. Today, I learned "Imago" but this is like a "person I put up on a pedestal to get my love from". Lots of new words. Another oldie is "toxic shame" then I learned there is a "healthy guilt" as it's more healthy counterpart. For me the toxic shame is "telling I'm worthless" and the healthy guilt says "I'm human and messed". I think if scripture were to be applied then the "godly sorrow" is more fitting and more connected to "healthy guilt" rather than a toxic shame. Lot of words and terms to figure out what is what. Well, that's all for me. God is good. Thank you Jesus.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,742
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jul 9, 2023 22:25:16 GMT -7
Toxic shame is a nasty, nasty root. Far more destructive than my sex addiction. And it manifests itself in many nonsexual ways that are not easy to recognize.
Yep. That's a big one.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,742
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jul 9, 2023 22:26:22 GMT -7
And congrats on the 2 months. Keep up the good work.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 10, 2023 0:12:40 GMT -7
Thank you Kevin.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 19, 2023 6:02:33 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 19, 2023 7:00:45 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 19, 2023 7:29:37 GMT -7
I learned that I can sometimes overshare or use too much details when I talk about recovery sometimes in some places. God please help me. I trust You.
I have done some journaling via voice memo and praying. God helped me today.
I saw a documentary on UFO's then another about a love addict who could not live without the broken relationship. It's really serious.
May God help us. God please help me.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 26, 2023 16:27:29 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jul 26, 2023 16:28:33 GMT -7
if anyone is reading this and would like to have zoom meetings for accountability/prayer, let me know.
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