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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 7, 2023 2:51:24 GMT -7
I'm a little bummed that our in-person meeting got cancelled but they said it was because of Good Friday service and that is good. To remember that Jesus Christ has died on the cross for our sins. Thank you Lord.
I'm listening to worship songs right now. God thank you for all the grace You give to us. Please help us Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 7, 2023 16:26:55 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 9, 2023 0:08:28 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 9, 2023 21:19:37 GMT -7
God, help me keep my heart devoted to You. Please help me to love You and follow You. Lord, I do not want to make You angry or sad or disappointed. Jesus, please fill me with Your Holy Spirit. We draw near to You Lord. We look to You Lord. We humble ourselves before You Lord. Thank You Jesus. Thank you for dying on the cross for our sins. Thank you Lord.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 9, 2023 23:59:46 GMT -7
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 14, 2023 17:29:12 GMT -7
I have a lot of hatred inside me. hatred of my own evil sins. I know Jesus died for my sins. I don't want to let "my anger" pay for my sins, because He already did.
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Post by Will on Apr 14, 2023 17:57:09 GMT -7
Hey Dominic!
Have you ever been to a support group and opened up about these things? I went to one the other day and was a good experience. Whatever it is, if we open it up to the light, Jesus can handle it!
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 18, 2023 19:17:41 GMT -7
Hi Will, yes, I have, I have meetings in person now on Friday's at a local church. Saturday mornings is another time. I share about my struggles. Right now the kind of s-xual immorality is not like before but of another kinda and just as deadly. God is helping me make strong boundaries and making my heart strong to focus on Him. It's been less than one month but I am still struggling with lust. Yesterday, was a struggle, but no acting out, but struggle still and I have to confess my adulteries to God and be serious and make stronger, healthier boundaries and need more time to heal and recovery. The sad part is ...after some days, I "feel" ok, then a relapse happens, but not like relapses in the past but still non the less, a relapse. to think of all women as souls, precious in God's sight is what I want to be like, and I am only able to do this day by day, moment by moment, with Jesus. Today, I took a walk and prayed to Jesus. This morning, I prayed to Jesus. I read that Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega and this encouraged me too.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 25, 2023 22:42:53 GMT -7
I'm really struggling right now. It's no p-rn as in images but it's p-rn as in s-xual immorality . God please help me. Technically, I'm one month "sober" but that is meaningless to me right now. Last night, I lusted again, but not looking and not seeing but still lusted a lot last night. I hate myself. I really hate how I live a double-life sometimes. Even if my wife is nice, even if I go to church, even if I cut off contacts, even if I am not looking at p-rn, I have a sinful nature I am seeing another side of, it's dark and scary there and no light at all. I'm sure there are demonic presences in my life. I trying to give up and go to God. I am praying to Him. It's my only hope right now. God has to help me because I am doing my best right now. I trust God will help me.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,742
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Apr 26, 2023 6:25:36 GMT -7
Oh Ɖσмιиιc, I know what you mean. The flesh inside us fills our soul with lies telling us that we're missing out on all the fun by being monogamous with our wives. Lies, all lies. Trust the Lord that His way and His plan for us is the best way to our own happiness and pleasure. I've not been proud of my own mind and eyes in the past week myself. But let's understand that if we lose a few skirmishes with lust or fantasy, it doesn't mean we have to lose the war. Thanks for sharing. And great job on the 30 days. Big milestone. Today is a new day. Let's make it count. Practice making your wife your one and only as in obedience to God and as a beautiful gift for yourself. Monogamy is a gift and a blessing. Let's embrace it to the fullest. And not listen to the lies of the enemy nor our flesh.
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Post by Will on Apr 27, 2023 19:48:25 GMT -7
Hi Dominic, my two cents for what it's worth is it sounds like you're being a bit hard on yourself. I can say for my part, my sobriety honestly consists of not watching porn, not masturbating and not lusting with the eyes. Other than that, I'm not always sober. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it. The other day I had a 'difficult' day. Hugely lustful, also resentful towards God about something, real craving to watch something. And my mind was all over the place, thinking very lustful thoughts for a couple of hours at least. For me, it was a victory a) to RECOGNISE the enemy's attack (wow that's the main part for me!) and b) whereas previously I would have given in, having recognised it for what it was, I was able to set my face against it, and buckle up for some challenges that night, realising that it would only be temporary and my 'job' was to get to sleep and get to the next day without giving in. Far from 'mental' cleanliness, but for me, especially with early recovery (>2 months), that goes with the territory and I'm not going to worry about it at this stage. On the demonic thing, I totally hear you. I can say this stuff does improve. Repeat to yourself this: "I'm redeemed by the blood of the Lamb out of the hand of the enemy" That is from Derek Prince from this article about Passover that really blessed me deliverance-wise: www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/8617The BLOOD of Jesus has set you free and bought you back. No enemy can beat that. Jesus said whoever comes to Him He will in no wise cast out. Do you believe Him? Then this stuff is fundamentally, truly, beaten. You just have to hang in there and keep going until the whole thing works itself out. Remember, you don't have to beat demonic entities, you just have to refer them to Jesus. Hang on to Jesus coat tails, and let Him take care of them. All I can advise is that once I also felt very demonically affected, now I don't really. So it goes away! Jesus wins in the end. For me a couple of big things happened like a reminder from God to walk in the Spirit (i.e. truth: being fully honest and open all the time), fasting and earnestly seeking Him (honestly kind of demanding some answers from Him, during fasting, like 'why aren't things getting better in my spiritual walk?') and also praying for and finding assurance of salvation. All this has taken nearly twenty years! But it happened eventually. God bless you bro! Keep going! Maybe read some Derek Prince books about deliverance. A good one I read was 'God's remedy for rejection'.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 29, 2023 4:40:49 GMT -7
Thank you for the encouragement brothers. I"m feeling better now, that I have confessed it to God and many brothers and received prayers and encouragements. I had a meeting today and today was a good day. I have another meeting tonight too.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Apr 30, 2023 23:33:29 GMT -7
It's a struggle at work today.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,742
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 1, 2023 11:27:31 GMT -7
Sometimes, we lose those battles with lust. But that doesn't mean we will lose the war.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on May 2, 2023 5:26:18 GMT -7
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