Hi and welcome AnettDE. I'm sorry I'm late replying. I check and I missed your post. I'm sorry. Ok, well it's good to put your story out there. It helps others see that they are not alone in this issue. I wish there were some easy or quick steps I could share that helps me, but that is not the case. I know Bible verses but it's not only good to hear if I don't do. I'm sure you know and I am not trying to judge or bring condemnation on you. The Devil will beat you up constantly on this. The Holy Spirit is gentle and kind and will lead you back to God. I want to be on God's side and not the devils side. For me, I had temptations today, it was not in porn or masturbation but images and thoughts in my mind. Very wrong sexual thoughts. Some of these thoughts come from your old memories. Some of these thoughts come from the Devil. Which thoughts are of you and which are of the devil can be identified like this.
1. if I have a reoccuring thoughts of something I did. I think it's my own memory, trying to re-introduce me back to my old ways.
2. if it's some new hideous thing, like a blasphemous thing, I never had an issue with before, I claim, that is Satan.
We are told in scriptures to 'take every thought captive'
this is where we have to fight, in the mind, but there is something else, we have to surrender our whole heart and mind to God first. Surrender means to give up. We give up trying to do life our way and submit to a Master, in this case, our Master is the Lord Jesus Christ. If Jesus is our Master, we can take orders and do what a good servant can do, if Jesus is not our master, we will rebel.
Jesus said "He is who is not for me is against me" - it's really black or white (not racisist terms, I have to clarify, sadly, in these sensative times). It's like a computer, the bit is 0 or a 1. There is nothing else.
So, choose, like me, like us, and have to choose initially to trust and put our faith in God, and keep putting our faith in God.
This is how I understand my own recovery and relationship with the Lord.
The Lord has warned me and also loves me. Sometimes my mind is so scared and guilty that I only focus on the fearful judgments of God. Sometimes I forget about God's grace.
God's grace leads us to repentance.
God is not mad at you. God put all the judgment of your sins on His only Son Jesus Christ, who is also God. So God loves you and showed it. This is the greatest kind of love in the world. Greater than any wife can give her husband. Greater than any love a husband can give his wife. God loves you. This means, that your brain and the chemical highs of dopamine are "from God" but to be only enjoyed with a man in marriage, not anything else.
This is God's holy standard.
Satan knows this holy standard and Satan will always pervert the ways of God. One of the blessings of sex is perverted through Satan using our own body against us. Satan tries to reprogram your mind and heart to use itself against itself. Your hands and your eyes and your mind are all from God. These are blessings and a gift. Satan pollutes it with trash, sewer, but he dresses the trash into a beautiful image and tempts you.
always, always, always, Satan says "do you want to see? look? " and he plants some sick image in the mind. He does have power to do this, but we also have power too, we have the Holy Spirit in us, to overpower, overrule, and kick out this demon, in the name of Jesus Christ. that is the way of spiritual warfare. See Matthew 4. This shows us how Jesus defeated Satan, in a human body, using God's Word, without sinning once, during alone trials, during hunger, during a time when "no one was looking".
Jesus can't sin, is not able to sin. The Holy Spirit is not able to sin and can't. We when surrender our mind and give our heart over to his Higher Power, the Only Higher Power, Jesus Christ, we win every single time. It doesn't matter if you are alone in the hotel, or you are reading the news and some images stumbles you, God in you can't lose, now, your choice is this.
1. do I let the mind focus on that image I just thought?
2. do I do something about it?
Do something about it, and be quick, the longer you wait, it's like your giving up (not surrender) but giving in to self, and "let's see how long I can go without sinning".
Just today, I tried to read one news article and was slammed with two model pictures, WHAT THE HECK?. I am kind of upset right now.
I'm not upset at the models. Satan wants me to be upset at these models. Even if the model was trying to seduce me, why should I be upset at them? Because they are hot? No, God made them good looking, so why should I be upset? because they purposely tried to seduce me? possibly, but even if they were trying to seduce me purposely by showing me some of their body, why should I get upset?
I used to be upset because this.
1. they are stupid because they always make me fall
2. these dumb people are always trying to make me sin, they are selfish, greedy, worshipping self.
You can see I have a lot of anger inside me and I am using very harsh words against them, but can I rightly say that, while I'm lusting? No way. It's like th the verse that says "why do you care about the speck of wood in your brothers eye but don't see the plank of wood in your own eye?
What was my "plank of wood"? My hypocrital statements were about "their" sins, but my sins are lust, hatred, and more and even they (models who purposely seduce) are guilty of their "bring offenses and causes others to stumble" it's still up to me to decide how to react and my heart shoud not, never hate the enemy but the love the enemies.
Here is what I"m saying ... 'along with lust, I have a hate' that I need to constantly get rid of.
I don't hate Brittney Spears but I hate that when I see her on the news, I am tempted to lust and it's more my fault then hers.
Jesus would not lust after her, Jesus would lovingly pray for her soul that she (and her types of people out there) would believe and be saved.
I remember the prostitutes who were once were and not anymore, but saved and sisters. They would not be trying to seduce Christian men. They would be living a life worthy of the inheritance they are trusting in Jesus to receive one day. They are my real role models. Along with the other holy brothers and sisters who lived righteous lives by faith.
Mary Magdalene, Job, Joseph, Ruth. all of these are our Christian brothers and sisters who lived before us and make pre-decided choices to not sin. I want to be like them.
Here is what Joseph said.
Joseph considered sex with his bosses wife a 'great wickedness against God"
Ruth wanted to be with Naomi and her God
Job made a covenant with this eyes (physical eyes, heart eyes, mind eyes) not to look at a women with lust.
this is the ingredients we need. God Word has all the answer for our lust problem.
Only God can change our hearts and give us willingness.
Let me tell you another sad thing or a victorious thing, you decide.
Last night, I approached my wife for intimacy, she denied me, I was very in the mood. I slept alone in the couch and prayed. I could have very easily did my own thing, but I knew it was cheating, it was going to be wrong, and it would bring shame upon me, and I would have to come here to confess I did it. I could not let my sick, perverted, worldly, fleshly, horny body, rule over my mind and spirit. I just prayed and in minutes, my mind and body returned to normal. (as if I was a child, innocent of evil, not craving sex or having sexual fantasies). I slept. This is only one small thing but God does these kinds of victories for me a lot.
I don't want to use women for sex. They are lost souls like me who need Jesus.
I don't want to see women in the porn industry being used me other pervereted men like me either, they are like animals with no mind but enslaved to their own passions and lust. I don't want to be like a dog in heat, God has called us out of the darkness and this means putting to death our flesh, our desires of the flesh.
say in your heart "I will not give my mind and body to satan no more, in the name of Jesus, get out Satan and all demons of lust and all lies, get away from me in the name of Jesus, I have rested on the finished work of Jesus Christ as the Lamb of God slain before the foundations of the world and I don't need these lies and filth of perversions of sex. God created sex to be a blessing in marriage with one man and one women"
praying like that and however you do, from the heart, God will listen and help you all the time. When you are bored, find a better hobbie to do, take a walk, do something, even if it's diffcult like call a friend or family, it will get your mind off the issue.
You can do it, with Jesus, because all things are possible with God.
Dear God, please bless and help and heal Anett and the brothers and sisters and me, to walk in Your ways, Please help us to live by Your Word, and not fall into the lusts of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. In Jesus' name. All the glory and power to You Lord. Amen.
Please keep writing your story, I am happy to read it and please feel free to comment on our stories too. We are all the same and in the same battle. Thank you Jesus. God is good.
