KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 9, 2017 14:56:51 GMT -7
Rotten Eggs
The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills.
He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 30 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box.
The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbours for $1."
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 9, 2017 15:03:27 GMT -7
Christian Breakup Lines
1. "I'm sorry, I've found someone more spiritual."
2. "I'm sorry, it's just not God's will."
3. "I feel called to the ministry_very soon and very far from you as soon as possible."
4. "I'm sorry, it could never work. I'm a sanguine and you're a phlegmatic."
5. "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."
6. "You know, I feel like I'm dating my brother."
7. "At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together."
8. "You need someone with lower standards."
9. "I think we should just be prayer partners."
10. "I do love you, but it's just agape now
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 15:16:09 GMT -7
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 9, 2017 15:42:48 GMT -7
ear John...
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart.
I was a fool - nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 16:56:21 GMT -7
Brad Stine
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 19:46:20 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2017 13:48:47 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2017 6:59:51 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2021 6:46:30 GMT -7
Knock knock who's there Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow w (cuts them off finishing the word)
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 29, 2021 8:43:03 GMT -7
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you π
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 29, 2021 9:07:28 GMT -7
Two men were in a car drinking and driving and they got pulled over by a cop. So the passenger in the car says to the driver, "Quick! Peel the label off the bottle that you're holding and place it on your forehead. Trust me. I have a plan." So the driver reluctantly complies.
The cop approaches the car, he shines his flashlight on the two men. "Hello," he says, "Have you been drinking?"
"No sirree, Mr. officer," the passenger replies in a slurred speech, "In fact, we just got back from an AA meeting. You can see, here, that my friend is on the patch."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2021 7:10:26 GMT -7
My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean. I donβt know why sheβs mad at me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2021 7:11:10 GMT -7
Whatβs brown and sticky? A stick.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2021 7:12:37 GMT -7
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2021 7:13:05 GMT -7
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house⦠but the kids still get in.
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