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Post by ladystrong on Sept 27, 2018 14:03:25 GMT -7
Today is our 10th Wedding Anniversary. Although this is the 2nd anniversary after my husband’s confession, I still have a hard time. It’s not as bad as last year so I know I’m healing. It’s hard to always have a clear perspective. All I know is that God is doing great things in our lives and has cleared out a lot of the junk we were holding on to for a long time. And even though the pain of broken vows is still there, I know that He’s doing something. Anyway, prayers would be appreciated. I don’t want to dwell on or in the past.
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Post by ladystrong on Sept 27, 2018 19:56:40 GMT -7
I guess I just don’t know what to do with our Anniversary and I feel like that’s ok. I’m both happy and sad. I just thought of the song “I surrender all” and that’s what I’m going to do.
God, I surrender our wedding anniversary to you. You take it and make it what You want it to be. Show me what I should do. Amen.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2018 21:07:47 GMT -7
Hugs hon. Maybe you could look at your anniversary as a beginning for a better stronger marriage.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2018 9:44:06 GMT -7
Prayers ...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2018 15:08:55 GMT -7
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Post by ladystrong on Sept 30, 2018 16:06:33 GMT -7
Thanks for all of the prayers! Even though Thursday was a rough emotional day, Friday, Saturday and Sunday turned out to be great days for my husband and I. The word that God gave to me was SURRENDER, from the previous posting. I have to keep surrendering our marriage and my healing over to God. I have to keep my focus on God. That was an intense day that I was battling through but I’m in a better state of mind now. I know Satan pushes my buttons on certain dates that are significant to my husband and I so I’ve got to be extra diligent on those days. I also remember reading Isaiah 55 out loud at our wedding celebration. That was an invitation to come to Jesus. Now, 10 years later, I’m at a different part of the Bible, Isaiah 61, with the same message but it takes on a whole new meaning for me. God is good and I know He will continue to do great things in our lives. Just got to keep holding on, crying out to Him, and surrender everything to Him!
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Post by ladystrong on Oct 5, 2018 23:02:24 GMT -7
Good news! I got to talk with a legit high school art teacher and it was such a blessing to me. She had a lot of ideas to share and experiences to tell me about. I felt like God confirmed my being in the right place by giving me the Lauren Daigle song (that I shared with GHP) in the background as I spoke with her. Maybe it’s a very popular song now for both secular ppl as well but I don’t care! I really felt that God was speaking to me through that song coming up while talking with her!
I also spoke with another Junior high art teacher and she has invited me to come and teach a lesson at her site! She’s a Christian and is someone I’ve known from a bible study I was a part of three years ago. It was so good to reconnect with her. Since she’s not a certified art teacher, she’s been trying to randomly pull things together for the art elective she teaches. I was able to share a few ideas with her to help out.
Anyway, I am so thankful that all these opportunities are opening up. It’s such a 180 degree change from where I was at almost two years ago. I’m talking to a lot more people face to face, sending out emails to connect with people and reconnecting with people I’ve gotten to know from the area. It’s neat to see how far God has taken me without me trying to strive to make something happen. When I let Him lead, He makes the path clear. I really do feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be and doing what He has called me to do. I will continue to wait on Him!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2018 7:48:25 GMT -7
How awesome is our God! So happy for you hon! You will have to let us know how the art lesson goes with the children. What ages are they?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2018 6:15:57 GMT -7
So happy for you Ladystrong.. that sounds wonderful.. keep listening God were direct you to go. How wonderful.. Hugs!
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Post by ladystrong on Oct 15, 2018 16:59:46 GMT -7
So I just found out that the book I’m reading called “Victory in Spiritual Warfare” is written by Priscilla Shirer’s father. I’ve never read her books but I have heard her name at our church because they did a study by her called “The Armor of God” before I joined their study group. And of course she was in “The War Room”. I still need to see that movie! I just didn’t want to because there was so much hype about it. I’m thinking of getting that book as my next personal study book, unless it mirrors her father’s book. I’ll have to check it out. Anyway, just thought that was kind of neat
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Post by ladystrong on Oct 29, 2018 23:10:40 GMT -7
Transition time for us. I feel like God is doing some radical changes in me that would not have occurred unless I went through a valley like this one. I have some deep seeded anger and comparison issues that God is continuing to bring up. I know where they come from: childhood issues that were not handled by me the way God wanted me to handle them. He’s untangling those strongholds and showing me that it’s so much better for me and for anyone else around me when I let go. Letting go means letting go of trying to understand, control, direct everything in my life. Letting go means stopping myself from trying to keep up an image by thinking in my head about how I’m “better than” or “more worthy”. It’s letting go of me being God. I can see it now, how very arrogant and prideful I can be in my thoughts and how that might translate to the people around me. God’s got a lot of sanctifying in my life that He still needs to do. I thought I had learned these lessons back in my twenties- nope! There was so much more stuff that needed to be cleaned and cleared out in my twisted soul! Thank You, Father, for loving me anyway!!!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2018 8:39:14 GMT -7
It seems to be a season for this. He is working on me and my sisters and mother also. Bringing out the old twisted thoughts and drawing us closer. God is good! My prayer life has taken on new life and there is something stewing in me that God wants me to do for His kingdom. I am not yet were I need to be to let Him accomplish this so it is a season of pulling up the weeds and growing healthy fruit.
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Post by ladystrong on Nov 12, 2018 14:43:46 GMT -7
I looked back a year ago and thought about where I was at emotionally and mentally. I remember being very fragile and vulnerable, not ready to go forward in working, feeling really unsure of a lot of things. I still had a lot of anxiety and fear while being in our community. I remember talking to another mom about wanting to teach art. I wasn’t sure how it would happen but I knew it was what I wanted to do. And now, a year later, I’m actually teaching art and planning on increasing my classes to homeschool students in the Spring in our basement! It’s pretty amazing! I’m not sure how many students will actually attend but I’m putting together my schedule now. Thank You Jesus! I’ve started substitute teaching and that is going well so far. Aiming for one job a week. Some classrooms are more stressful than others so I’m taking note of how classroom are run. I was blessed to have an easy K class with an assistant last week. This week I’ll be a roving sub. Just taking it one day at a time. God is continually growing me. I have a lot to learn about balancing things in my life and being humbled everyday. I’m moving forward with my husband and we’re learning to connect with each other and not become stuck in the past or difficult moments of disconnect. It’s hard sometimes but when we admit to our weaknesses we work much better together
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2018 11:26:55 GMT -7
So happy for you! You have grown so much during your walk with God. It's joyous for me to see!
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Post by ladystrong on Nov 24, 2018 11:41:26 GMT -7
Been a rough couple of days but we’ve turned a corner. I have major anxiety whenever we are on a road trip. I have a hard time controlling my tongue when I’m PMSING as well. I’ve gotten a lot better but I have so far to go. I no longer swear uncontrollably but my tone when I feel overwhelmed becomes really harsh. I’m asking God to change me. I need it. I don’t want to be stuck in anxiety because I end up ruining our vacations. My husband and I had a good long talk. Even though I’ve gotten stronger in some areas, I lack in other areas. At times I feel like I’m failing so badly that I should just give up and “self-medicate” in some unhealthy way. It’s not often, but it brings me back to humility and admitting that I’m just not all that and a bag of chips. I need to take responsibility for my actions. I don’t have anyone else to blame. We’re doing a lot better today after that talk. I’m going through some major changes and finding my identity separately from my husband. It feels different and freeing. But obviously we don’t want to be living two separate lives. We are a work in progress. Happy Belated Thanksgiving
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