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Post by savedbygrace on Dec 17, 2021 13:20:24 GMT -7
Yes, they need to realize that we are all much more productive, to say nothing of happier, when we get the proper rest and breaks. I pray that they will realize that.
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Post by Will on Dec 22, 2021 15:46:07 GMT -7
Thanks guys! Just checking in. Day off today, thank God! There's this one chick that comes on street ministry with us. She is into me, and I find her attractive. However I don't think long term it would be a good idea for us to get married. But every time we see each other, we gravitate together and are both lonely. Lord help me with the strength not to marry the wrong person out of desperation and loneliness!
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Dec 22, 2021 18:33:21 GMT -7
it's good you "might" have someone but I hope God shows you if she is the one. Yup, it's great to find a pretty mate, but if your beliefs and morals are not the same then you find out now....wow. God is good, try to think of her like a sister for some other brother. That is what I"m trying to do also.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
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Post by KevinesKay on Dec 22, 2021 21:22:33 GMT -7
Will, What is your list of qualities that you are looking for in a wife?
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Dec 23, 2021 19:39:37 GMT -7
Will , What is your list of qualities that you are looking for in a wife? Will, please say "A women who loves Jesus"
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Post by Will on Dec 26, 2021 7:11:52 GMT -7
Ha ha, yes of course she has to love Jesus (even more than she loves me!)
This woman does love Jesus, praise God.
The problem is with her views of marriage and expectations of the future. My belief is that marriage is for life and I am not interested in marrying someone who would ever think of divorce. I know that's a tall order in this day and age, but having been the child of divorce (when I was age 10), I don't ever want any children of mine to go through that. Part of that I believe is a Bible-focused life that includes for example home schooling and the husband being head of the family. This friend of mine does not really have that view. Also, her cultural background is one where the wife wears the pants, and its different from my cultural background, I don't think she would be able to handle my family and friends. I've learned from previous relationships that it's important to have the same vision for the future, for raising children, for the way of life you want to live in. And that women tend to be very rooted in the culture they grew up in (more than men I would say), so this is not a good fit. Honestly, I think the relationship would not make either of us happy in the long run, because we would both want to be in charge, and we would both want to bring the other into our culture's way of looking at the world.
Sorry if too much information!! : )
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Dec 26, 2021 21:50:25 GMT -7
Interesting. For me, it might seem like the wife wears the pants because I am living in her country, life in her mother's house, she gets all the money, and a lot more. I'm OK with all of this because when I left the military we decided to stay in Japan. When our children had to move into her mom's it's because of the strict Japanese school system. For the money, I had to give it to her, all of it, minus 40 bucks because I was not capable and too weak and it's better for me to give it all to her. Also, in Japan, this is a custom because the man is the one going out drinking and the wife is helping not do that. I don't drink but just saying. For home schooling, I can't imagine doing that task of home schooling because it's very difficult. Our children went to public schools all of their life. Personally, I have been to both private and public schools. In Marriage, we will have to say good bye to our family and friends, in one way, because 'a man will leave his mother and father and cling to his wife' and this is your new family now. It's hard to see, but there is a book called "Every Man's Marriage" that is filled with stuff that the husband "thought" he was doing right and even "demanded" but was not loving and laying down his life for his wife, as we are told to do for our wives. I think you have a keeper in your hands, - a women who loves Jesus. If it were me telling my son (in high school) I would say "go for it" but not s-x until marriage. God bless you .
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Dec 26, 2021 21:52:35 GMT -7
Also, for the issue of divorce, it's biblical if husbands have committed adultery. In my case, my wife could have divorced me many times but for some reason, is still with me, tells me how I need to stop it and love my wife so much more and be grateful she is not insane because of my constant betrayals. I think I'm one of the worst husband in the world to be honest.
Also, 'thinking' about divorce is not the same as doing it. My wife has thought about divorce the first time she caught porn on the PC back in 2004/5. Also, I'm not saying to 'take advantage of God's grace or her forgiveness too" I wanted to be clear.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
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Post by KevinesKay on Dec 26, 2021 22:35:03 GMT -7
That was a very good response, Will. Thank you for sharing.
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Post by Will on Dec 27, 2021 3:41:23 GMT -7
Thanks guys! Thanks Kevin, really appreciate your affirmation, as this is big stuff for me that I have thought about a lot and still not sure of. Thanks Dominic! I really appreciate you sharing as well. When I said 'think of divorce' I didn't mean just think about it, I guess I meant considering it a real possibility and something that is an option for Christians. As for divorce being Biblical (lol this one is constantly coming back up!!) here's my views: blazinggrace.forums.net/thread/2941/divorce-remarriage-david-pawson?page=1&scrollTo=27457. Personally I don't think it is Biblical (but of course we are all sinners and I am not anyone's judge). Think it's a blessing to you that your wife stayed with you. Staying together is a gift from God.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Dec 27, 2021 5:28:04 GMT -7
I'm very happy my wife is still wife me too. I can't think of life any other way right. I pray and hope God will show you the right women he has for you brother. I'm sure some women is needing a person like you too. God bless you.
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Post by Will on Mar 5, 2022 2:37:07 GMT -7
Hey guys,
thanks Dominic! Am just checking in to say hi. Nothing much to report : )
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Mar 5, 2022 2:40:53 GMT -7
Hi Will It's good to see you brother. Same here. Just praying, chilling, trying to do what God wants. Praying for repentance of my own sins. Amen. God bless you my brother.
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Post by Will on Mar 6, 2022 5:35:47 GMT -7
Thanks bro! Hey I missed one of your posts earlier for some reason, the one where you said 'I think she's a keeper'. You're not the only one who thinks that! So it's hard because have some friends trying to push us together. It's tough because I'm lonely. But the reasons above win out for me. God bless you!
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,741
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 6, 2022 5:53:55 GMT -7
I recently read a book by Suzanne Venker,
How to get Hitched and Stay Hitched.
And she mentioned the same thing. Her words were, "Love is not enough."
For a marriage to work best, the pair have to share the same values in life.
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