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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2017 11:56:36 GMT -7
Noah, this is Charles Swindoll speaking to the students at Dallas Theological Seminary. I thought you might like to listen to his sermon.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2017 20:30:20 GMT -7
Hey everyone. I finally got a chance to sit down and type this out... So here goes nothing. Thanks Amy, and kingsolomon for the encouragement! This week has had its ups and down, and thankfully it has had more ups... I think I only fell twice into sin this week. No PN, just MB. I'll say it time and again; I'm not brushing off my sin by saying any of this, but compared to the things that I could've done, and was tempted to do, MB isn't that terrible. I'm still trying to get rid of ALL sexual immorality in my life though. It's one step at a time. One big win, at least in my eyes, is that I'm learning and training myself to control where my eyes go and how I look at women that I am surrounded by. This week especially, everytime I got into a situation where I could easily view something or someone that would, "turn me on", I looked away or closed my eyes altogether. In some situations, the temptation was so strong, and I knew that on my own I would look, but God saved me from those situations. And please don't misunderstand this; I'm not bragging about my own power. Only God could've got me out of these situations. To Him be the glory! I'm hoping God will keep me going strong. And I'm continuing to fight! Again, thanks Amy and king. I will probably watch that video tomorrow Amy, when I get the time. This week has been hectic, hence my absence. God is faithful!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2017 19:30:58 GMT -7
Hey y'all. I'm beginning to realize, especially recently, that I'm not accountable to anyone but you guys. I think because of this lack of accountability in my life, I tend to slip into sin much more.
I remember that back when I had an accountability partner, I would start to go 4 or 5 days at a time without sinning. Sadly that time didn't last long, and I didn't progress in my battle past that.
Just this week I have fallen into sin twice since last time I posted here. I NEED accountabily, and I cannot put it off any longer. I have said it, and a lot of others have said it; I need to be willing to do anything to fight this addiction, and if that means being completely honest, (which it does), then I must be honest.
I have been doing well these past few weeks, but I am not progressing. I am simply staying sober for a few days before falling again into sin.
There is no excuse for my sin. I must keep fighting, and I must fight hard. Ultimately, only God can save me, but I must be willing to let Him in completely before He can help me.
Thanks everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 11:41:15 GMT -7
What happened to your accountability partner?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 14:10:40 GMT -7
He was unable to stay in contact because he moved away. I don't see him in person anymore, and most of the time he is unable to respond to my emails or calls. He's not a bad guy or anything like that, he is just super busy with his job as well as his family. I am currently talking to another guy who I see more often. This guy, (His name is Cole), is a very smart and kind Christian. He has experience with struggling with sexual sin, and so I think he'd be a great accountability partner. He is also busy, but less so than the previous guy. And I see and talk to him every week.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2017 22:14:38 GMT -7
Good I am glad you were able to find another accountability partner. You should try to talk to him more than once a week since you are struggling to maintain soberity for a week. Once you are maintaining your soberity for a longer time frame, then you can try going back to once a week. Since he has had problems with sexual sin, he will understand the need for more frequent contact during the early stages of your walk.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2017 12:27:27 GMT -7
Hey y'all. I let my guard down today. Things were going surprisingly well at first; The temptation to act out was there quite a bit, but I continued to turn away from opportunities to sin by praying and focusing on God. Well for some reason, (probably because I was bored and had nothing else to do), I acted out and did MB in the shower. I know it's not really HUGE compared to the things I could've done, but it still feels big because I thought today was going well. I know what you may be thinking, I'm not going to let this fall into sin completely bug me down. That is Satan's tactic. But it still doesn't feel good. One plus in all this craziness is I am learning to control my eyes better. I was with my mom at the store yesterday. Normally, the womens' clothing section is a big downfall for me, but yesterday I looked away from those parts of the store, and because of God's grace I prevailed in escaping the store unscathed. That is just one example of me training my eyes. I have had several other opportunities to look where I shouldn't this week. Praise be to the Lord that I could escape those situations as well. Even throughout my pain right now, I can see the places that I am growing in. As long as I am making my life count for God now, then my loss of sobriety should not bug me down so much. I just need to sincerely repent and move on. "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalms 51:10 Thanks y'all.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2017 13:40:12 GMT -7
So today I am 3 days sober. It doesn't really seem like much to a lot of people, but it is something. I just need to focus on what I'm doing right now. I'm thankful God has carried me this far. These past few days, every time a hint of temptation would enter my mind, I would cry out to God for help. I would ask Him to save me from the thoughts and temptations, and then I would remind myself of the bigger picture. So far it has worked and God is still with me.
I'm expecting Satan to hit me very hard very soon. Please pray that I make it through today.
Thanks everyone!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2017 12:53:18 GMT -7
Well Satan has been hitting me hard these past few days. I got 4 days sober, and I had a small slip today. There are no excuses for this sin. It was a mistake and an offense against God. I'm glad it did not progress though.
But I will not let this sin drag me down again. I CAN'T. I've lived like this for so long; try and fail, try and fail. I am so SICK of myself and I need to get my life back on track. Only God can save me from myself. I need to let Him into my life completely so that He can work on my heart.
Hopefully this fall can lead me to even greater wins. I pray that it drives me to further dissatisfaction with PN, MB, and sexual immorality in general. I pray that I find my satisfaction is Christ alone.
I want to keep going, to keep fighting. And with God's help I can continue to make it through today.
Thank you.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2018 12:01:25 GMT -7
Hey everyone. Sorry I've been gone for a little while. Happy New Year by the way!
The past few weeks of my absence have been okay. I'm sad to say that I've had some small slips into MB. MB is something I struggle with the most probably because I can pretty much do it anywhere... Please pray that I am turned to repentance even more and that I get on my face before God every day. I'm happy to report that controlling my eyes has been getting better every day. Satan throws a lot of temptation at me, but so far God has been giving me enough strength to look away. It's still a struggle sometimes, but I know God is working on me a lot.
Thanks y'all! God is so good!
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Post by Will on Jan 20, 2018 5:31:11 GMT -7
Hey Noah! Long time no read : ) Glad to hear that God is shaping you more and more into His image every day. Keep going brother!!
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Post by savedbygrace on Feb 3, 2018 5:06:43 GMT -7
Please pray that I am turned to repentance even more and that I get on my face before God every day. I'm happy to report that controlling my eyes has been getting better every day. Satan throws a lot of temptation at me, but so far God has been giving me enough strength to look away. It's still a struggle sometimes, but I know God is working on me a lot. Amen! Glad to pray, and please pray for me too!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2018 14:41:24 GMT -7
*long sigh* Hey y'all. I haven't posted in a while. I am still learning to be consistant here. It's a struggle to post here on at least a weekly basis, but hopefully God will help me come back every time I fall away.
I can honestly say that things have been up and down for me. Just recently I was able to go without PN or MB for a while, longer than I have before. It was encouraging to see in myself, and I thought I was doing so well that I slowly but surely let my guard down. I let pride enter my heart again, and then because of that I started into another cycle of falling. I tried to get back up, but it was only half hearted and I soon fell back down into sin. Like I said; up and down.
There have been some good times, even in the midst of my weakness. God was still showing stuff to me and it encouraged me to keep fighting. I guess this is one of those times, hence me posting here.
I don't really wanna say any fancy words or give an inspirational speech or anything like that. At this point stuff like that feels empty. So I'll just say that this is me, getting back up. I fall, I get back up and keep fighting. That's what matters right?
I can't let my failure bog me down. So I just have to recognize that those choices are in the past and I can't change them. They were mistakes, and I just have to learn from my mistakes and move on.
I'm going to try to distance myself from the internet, and technology for a little while. Of course I'll get on here every so often to check in with y'all, but that is it. I'm grateful that y'all have been praying for me, despite me leaving again. I have been blessed with people like you, and I don't deserve y'all.
Thanks everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2018 14:43:34 GMT -7
Welcome to BG savedbygrace! Thank you for your prayers, and I will pray for you as well.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2018 20:14:20 GMT -7
Noah, being real with yourself and others is a huge step in the right direction. Keep fighting! I too had to take a break from the internet. It's a smart decision for you to make. I will be praying for you.
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