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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2017 11:10:25 GMT -7
Hey y'all. Just checking in for today. Things are good. I'm having some small falls, but nothing seriously bad, and even the small falls are dwindling. Today I've been reading a lot of my Bible, and in Lamentations 3:22-24 it says; "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." " I'm reminded in these verses that God is faithful no matter what. I want my soul to say that the Lord is my portion and I will find my hope in Him no matter what. I want to be able to trust in His plan for my life, even when circumstances seem bleak or hopeless. I am at a point in my life when the fight for purity is so hard. Every day I have to keep on the guard, even when I don't want to. It is so tiring, especially when I still fall. But through it all I know that God will come through, in His timing and in His ways. Anyways, thanks everyone!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2017 19:18:27 GMT -7
So I fell today, twice. I think I've been neglecting checking up with y'all regularly, and because of that I just got lazy all together. Please pray that I continue to get back up, even when I fall into sin. I know that my mistakes don't define who I am, and my identity is in Christ, but it's continually getting more and more tough every time I fall. I'm finding it harder to get back up. I need to look to God and continue to place my dependence in Him. Only God can get me through this.
Thank you all for being here.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2017 17:39:35 GMT -7
Hey noah, sounds like you are discouraged. Choosing to turn away from sin and toward God is never easy. It will always be a battle as long as we are on this earth. What you need to remember is that God is there with you every second...even while you are sinning. He knows you fully and still loves you. He wants you. He knows you can overcome this sin with His help. He is proud of you. He can't wait to see you and say "well done my son".
Don't give up. Keep following God.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2017 13:21:36 GMT -7
Hey Amy, thanks for those words. I know it'll never be easy, but the impatient side of me just wants everything fixed immediately. I guess God is teaching me patience and trust through this whole thing. God can use anything for good, and I am very sure that He is using my fight against my PN addiction, (As well as my many other sins) for a better purpose.
Just to check up with y'all, things are okay I think. I haven't fallen in a few days, although I think I had a small slip up on Thursday. I'm not trying to downplay the slip up I had on Thursday, but it hasn't really affected me much, and I'm trying to push away the guilt for that sin and continue to remind myself of how Christ wiped away all my sins, and I don't have to live in condemnation. I don't know how the new week will play out, but I'm focusing on today and how I fight and rely on God for my strength now.
Other than the struggles, life is good. My mom just finished her seasonal job at a local farm/park, so I will be home-alone less now, (Thank the Lord). I know I shouldn't rely on having people at home, to stay away from watching PN or anything like that, but it sure is easier with someone around the house to make sure I'm not doing anything bad...
I know I probably should post this in the Prayer Requests section, (and I probably will end up doing that), but seeing that I'm already here I'll just make my prayer request here... Could y'all pray for my friend, Ansley, and the rest of her family. Ansley's dad just lost his job and the family will end up having to sell their house. Things for them are looking pretty scary. So if you would, just pray for them and that they would continue to put their trust in God's provision, (They are Christians). Thank you all.
"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."--Psalms 62:1-2
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Post by Will on Nov 6, 2017 4:28:59 GMT -7
Hey Noah, just wanted to say hi. I think you're doing pretty great and are an inspiration to me! You are a lot further along the right way than I was at your age. Keep going down the road with Christ Jesus and things will be well. He promised us that the good work He started in us, He would finish. And that if we seek, we will find. His yoke is not heavy and He does not require us to be supermen, but only to keep coming back to the Cross and asking for forgiveness, strength and guidance. His Grace is sufficient for us. My progress (really don't like that word!) has been very slow. But if I look back over the 12 years I have been a Christian, even with all my totally wrong-headed mistakes, wrong turns, bad choices, misunderstandings, over-confidences and the rest, He has still kept me on a path of improvement, towards a cleaner life and closer relationship with the Lord Jesus, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. His promises are sure, I can testify. Keep going, towards the blessed reward He has for us. My only recommendations, for what they're worth, that have worked well for me recently, are really separation from worldliness as much as possible (maybe not so easy for you as you are younger and live with family, etc.) But cutting out as much fiction, and even non-Christian media, has been really great for me. It was unimaginable even a year ago, but now I really don't miss it. Life with God is just way better. Someone told me a great metaphor recently (possibly on this board?). When you get in the back of a truck for a lift, don't sit with your back to the back of the truck, where the door folds down. It probably will hold fast and be fine, but why take the risk? Its better to stay as far away from that as possible, and sit with your back to the cabin. That really works with cultural/spiritual influences. Rock/hip hop/dance music is also not good for you (when I was your age I would not have been able even to hear that kind of advice, I was way less mature! But maybe it will help you) But yeah, getting that stuff out of your life is a really good help. And also finding good, healthy spiritual influences to replace it with. Not so easy in our society. Anything to do with nature/ God's Creation is awesome (I want to visit 'Ark Encounter' sometime). I get inspired and uplifted by - surfing, learning another language (slowly), docos about Alaska and the wilderness, housebuilding and stuff. Also reading about the modern State of Israel. That is really inspiring as God's promises really are coming true in our own time, against all odds. Sports also pretty good. Any kind of Church sport is awesome. Anyway God bless you! And keep asking Jesus for help
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2017 20:08:51 GMT -7
Hey y'all... Thanks for all that Will. It's good to hear from you. I think some of that can apply to me right now... A few months back I cut off all of my social media accounts and stopped listening to music that was not helping me be any better. It was great for a while, and it is still something I want to do, but recently I've been drifting back towards social media stuff, and I think because of that, I am falling into sin more again. I'm sad to say that I've been on somewhat of a MB and PN binge, (mostly MB) for the last few days. I tried to brush them off and say, "Oh I don't need to report it to BG because it was only a few small falls..." Well they were small at first, but it is slowly escalating into more. This whole binge started when I started getting back on my social media accounts... I made the excuse that I was only looking for a little bit, but that was wrong, (obviously). Just today I ended up watching PN and doing MB. Regardless of how Jesus already wiped my sins away, I still think I need to have a level of guilt that will lead me to humility, and then to repentance. Because frankly, I haven't been feeling very guilty about these falls. I need to recognize that these sins are terrible, disgusting, and damaging. I need to recognize my need for Christ, EVERY DAY. I need to be lead to humility. I'd like to apologize to y'all. I did not report to you when I did fall into sin, and I continued to betray your trust every day when I neglected to check in. I'm truly sorry. Please pray that I am lead to humility even more every day. "21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21 "20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:20-23 Thanks y'all for your prayers! I know that I need to gain humility and turn to repentance, but I am still trying to remain positive throughout this whole thing. God is holding you and me, and He has a plan for us all!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2017 10:35:35 GMT -7
I fell into sin today and ended up watching PN. I noticed that even before I started watching, I didn't want to look at it. In my mind I kept on saying, "Why am I doing this?" but for some reason I just kept going until the O... I hate how much this addiction has a huge grip on my actions and my mind. So much so that even when I don't want to succumb to the sin, I still do because it has become my fallback. To beat this, I must be willing to totally give up my own will to God. Only He can save me.
"Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24
Thank you all!
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Post by teetop on Nov 14, 2017 11:27:32 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2017 13:49:37 GMT -7
Hey teetop. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. That may be true, that there is no such thing as a sex addiction, and that my real problem is simply selfishness and sexual lust. I have just always categorized my problem with PN/MB/Sexual immorality as an "addiction" because it has become a habit in my life. I definitely need some sort of accountability in my actual life. BG has been a huge blessing, but it's hard to be challenged by people that I'm not actually around in my everyday life. I did have several accountability partners, but they didn't turn out super well. I think I may have found another person who could keep me accountable more regularly, but I still have to bring it up to him. Scripture definitely has PLENTY to say about what we need to do! Romans 12:21 tells us not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil WITH good. We can overcome evil by focusing on Christ, and instead of focusing on we SHOULDN'T be doing, focus on how we can make our lives count. Galatians 5 talks about walking in the Spirit. It says to walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the sins of the flesh. If we as Christians live in the Spirit; (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control), then we will not be fulfilling our lusts. There again it talks about focusing on what we SHOULD be doing, rather than what we SHOULDN'T be doing. Of course, there are way more Scripture areas on what to do, (And please share more teetop!). Also, I'm not pretending to be perfect in walking in the Spirit. It is definitely SUPER hard. But I'm finding that at times when I do walk according to the Spirit, my sins do dwindle. The key is CONTINUING to walk in the Spirit, and that is where I fail so many times. I will email you teetop! I can send you my email in a private message. I'd like to hear from you more! Regardless of my fall into sin today, I am feeling much better after spending some time in God's Word, as well as prayer! Thanks teetop, and everyone else!
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Post by kingsolomon on Nov 18, 2017 17:25:35 GMT -7
Great. Keep fighting. God loves you. While we were yet sinners Christ died for us.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2017 13:13:40 GMT -7
Thank you king. You are right, Christ died for us and wiped away all of our sins. Just to check in, things are going okay. For a few days I was actually doing well, and I have God to thank for that. Today I did slip back into sin and watch PN. I have so much frustration towards my sexual immorality, and how easily I can completely forget what I'm fighting for, and then sin. I know it is a process, but it is so hard to keep my guard up always. I have a feeling that eventually it will become a habit, and it will be easier, but right at the beginning it is so hard to continue to remind myself that I shouldn't be doing certain things... Only God can get me through this. In Him I put my trust. Thanks for all of y'all's prayers and encouragement. I love every one of you!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2017 16:49:00 GMT -7
It is extremely tough in the beginning. It takes perseverance, diligence, and lots of humility. Keep getting back in the fight. God is training and teaching you to become the man He sees you as. And take it from this old lady, that is going to be on going process all of your life. Part of being His son or daughter.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2017 19:36:01 GMT -7
Thanks for reminding me of that Amy.
Today has been good and bad... Today I started typing in PN websites, because I was feeling the temptation as well as laziness. But before the website loaded I suddenly felt like I needed to stay away from it, and so I canceled the load and walked away. For me it feels like a big victory, because normally I would've completely given up right then and there...
Later on in the day I sadly fell into MB. I feel disappointed in myself for this fall especially because I can see how I could've avoided the situation entirely, but I let my laziness and lust get the better of me.
I find that when I continue to remind myself of the bigger picture, and how sexual immorality hurts not only me, but those around me, I can stay focused on going against my temptation. As Amy said, as well as many others have stated, this is, and will be an ongoing fight until I die. I just gotta keep my guard up always!
I think I need to post here more, not only when I fall into sin, but also just on things in my every day life.
Tomorrow I will be going to visit some relatives that I've never met. I'm trying not to get stressed out about it, and I'm trying to look at the bright side. Hopefully it'll go well...
Also recently, I am feeling like God is drawing me to become more of a leader. I don't know how that would look like, or if it is even God talking to me. I'm just praying about it, and trying to get some input from more mature believers.
Well, thanks everyone! God is continually showing me how much He loves me and how He won't give up on my life. He is working on me in so many ways!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2017 7:52:24 GMT -7
I know that God is calling you to be a leader because of your heart to fight this sin at your age. What you need to remember and realize is that you need to continue to follow God and work on your sin. Remaining humble and overcoming will put you in better position to step into a leadership role. Being in a leadership position is stressful and taxing...which can lead you back into your sin if you take your focus off God. So don't rush into something when you aren't ready. Keep working on yourself by following and focusing on God. One thing you may want to do is study the past leaders of the church. Their writings and biographies may give you more insight into what it is like to lead. It isn't easy and Satan goes after leaders big time. So you need to get sin out of your life and have some thick armor so as not to give him an easy in.
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Post by kingsolomon on Nov 25, 2017 16:46:47 GMT -7
Hey Noah good to know that you are progressing. The devil never kicks a dead horse. What i would recommend is to spend private time in worship. By declaring God His wonderful acts and spend time in loving Him. It's a good exercise. Ah. How difficult it is when it becomes a habit but thank God it's never impossible. Spend time in memorizing scripture. Love God more by which i mean get alone with God it's ok if you fail but don't let the devil deceive you by saying it's ok to sin. Got to be very careful about the devil's lie. It's a wonderful experience to know Him more intimately and worship is one of the means. Don't get discouraged we all the slips and falls. Thank God we don't have to remain there. Thanks for your update. And am doing well on this thanks for your prayers. Continue to pray for me too as we journey together in the life. God Bless
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