New Married Guy with SSA - I need help?

KK,

Thanks for posting excerpts from Mike's articles.

I've been reading them for four years and refer to them often. I like the way they are very understanding as to what SA does to the wife w/o putting a lot of pressure on wives just to "forgive and forget."

Oh, KK my husband has joined the forum so I'm very excited about that.

 I am not sure if this will help your husband, but it really helped me.

This is Hell: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu5V28XGxr0

People there are caged with demons, fallen angels who have been cast there, and are waiting the great white throne of judgment. After their lives have been reviewed, those people will be cast into a lake of fire that never stops burning.

It is simply beyond words.

It awaits those who do not have Jesus as their Lord.

www.bereanpublishers.com/is-gods-love-unconditional/

The above link is written by a man who wrote a book called, "The believers assurance of salvation" I originally bought it at a deliverance ministry, but I had no idea what was in it.

There's very little grace in the book, but it's points are valid, about those who persevere in Christ, those who remain faithful until the end.

I was subject to a horrific demonic attack where I believe I was in dire trouble, due to a very specific temptation I fell into. It's taken me a decade just to begin to overcome it. Watching that video above terrifies me because I feel like I was so close to going to Hell.

God is very merciful to us, and especially to me.

But we are here for a purpose, and we must abide in that purpose until the end. Only those who persist to the end will be saved.

Matthew 24:13 but he who did endure to the end, he shall be saved;

That is not so say we fall a thousand times getting to the end, because we do. I messed up and looked up all kinds of abominable porn just a few days ago.

Recently on a hike, a few days ago, I sprung my ankle deep in a wash, thousands of feet straight down from a trail miles from civilization.

I had on me a backpack weighing over a hundred pounds.

Obviously there was no cell service. I was forced to make camp there, to rest, to try and eat.

The next day I dumped all of the food out of my pack and proceeded to climb back up to the trail. I was praying to God the whole way, with a sprung ankle, when I got home, the pack still weighed 80 lbs.

During the trek back, and the time I spent in pain with the injured ankle, God showed me that I am but dust.

I have always tried to take command of all who I am, my mind, my soul, even my salvation, but God showed me that much of my efforts were futile. In that I did them on my own strength, as if dust could help itself.

It was a relief to feel that, but I am still accountable.

I am still trying to work out my salvation. So much has been based on emotion and how I feel. I am an emotional creature, but in the torture I endured as a child it is difficult to understand what it "feels" like to be healthy.

2 Chronicles 7:14 (My area code when I was growing up, 714) keeps popping up.

and My people on whom My name is called be humbled, and pray, and seek My face, and turn back from their evil ways, then I -- I hear from the heavens, and forgive their sin, and heal their land.

I think we have been fed a false bill of goods in many modern Western churches. We are fed a God who has been stripped of His righteous anger, His perfect Justice. And the fruit of that is evident. More than half of all Christian marriages end. Half of all pastors purportedly have a pornography addiction... What god are these people serving?

All my life I have believed in a cruel sadist god. After all my childhood seemed orchestrated by such a being. And today I struggle with applying to that God. But I am beginning to wake up, to realize, His perfection is not cruel, no, but His mercy is new every day. I cannot ever live up to His standards.

But that does not mean we are not to try. Jesus said we are to pluck out our eye if it offends us... Naturally He was not speaking literally, then our very brains would have to be removed from our skulls!

But He is trying to tell us the importance of getting rid of the sin in our life.

This is life and death.

Homeschooler3, I would highly suggest you (And everyone reading this thread) watch some of these videos by Michael W Smith (Not the singer) Some times he does actual deliverance at the end and you may want to turn it off when the lights go out. I've been through several of these and there's absolutely nothing to fear. I've rebuked demons myself and it's actually quite fun!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=62kodyOgY7A

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMe-Ce2shiE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHqad3sV6IM

It is wonderful to realize HOW Satan is working in our lives, because then we can overcome him. It takes more than just prayer and hope. God has given us the power.

I was just wondering if we could post music from youtube.

Thanks for the encouragement Jake. I've only had time to skim your post, but I'll go over the links later.

As a Musician, I love music of  any genre and use it for therapy.

And you're right, he is pissing his life away. I told him he's going to end up in some crap hole apt. and missing out on his children growing up. And that they will grow up with very bitter feelings toward him.

Our marriage is hanging by a thread and I've even opened up the phone book for a divorce lawyer.

The Chronicles verse is on our church wall when you walk out. It's sorely needed in the USA before God judges us which I think is very near.

Linton,

I'm still praying for you and your wife.

Hope all is well, drop us a line if you get the chance.