Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2007 10:33:42 GMT -7
I turned 20 one month ago and I live in Western Europe . I am having a very hard time and I suffer. My story is not as hard as some other people's stories I have read, but I suffer.
I am addicted to masturbation and becoming an addict to internet nude sites and such and I don't understand. I am a son of wealthy parents. I study hard and I have a lot of social contact. I often find that girls like me, but I always reject if they try to get to know me in that way and what is even worse, I find that I have feelings of hate against them when I notice that they are sexually attracted to me. Although I have many good female friends, I have never had a girlfriend. I have never had sex, I have only kissed a girl ones. I started to hate her afterwards. Last year I travelled for half a year, and during that trip I've only masturbated about 5 times. I am one of the many victims who were to young to protect themselves against the easy access of pornography on the net and when I was younger I watched it from time to time. For a long time I had no problems and I could control myself if I wanted to. Now I am studying again and I am addicted to it. It is starting to influence my life. I am afraid I will not pass my exams this month because of this addiction.
I want to start fighting, but I'm afraid that if I start now, I'll fail my exams because it will be to difficult. I'm afraid I'll fail if I continue.
Although I truly believe in the values of the teachings of Christ, I am not religious. For myself I believe I must fight this addiction from within. I think that I have to fight this by learning as much as possible about it, analyse myself, think rationally. I hope there are people with similar experience
I hope to have a normal relationship someday
I do not intend to be arrogant saying that I don't understand this is happening to ME.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story
I am addicted to masturbation and becoming an addict to internet nude sites and such and I don't understand. I am a son of wealthy parents. I study hard and I have a lot of social contact. I often find that girls like me, but I always reject if they try to get to know me in that way and what is even worse, I find that I have feelings of hate against them when I notice that they are sexually attracted to me. Although I have many good female friends, I have never had a girlfriend. I have never had sex, I have only kissed a girl ones. I started to hate her afterwards. Last year I travelled for half a year, and during that trip I've only masturbated about 5 times. I am one of the many victims who were to young to protect themselves against the easy access of pornography on the net and when I was younger I watched it from time to time. For a long time I had no problems and I could control myself if I wanted to. Now I am studying again and I am addicted to it. It is starting to influence my life. I am afraid I will not pass my exams this month because of this addiction.
I want to start fighting, but I'm afraid that if I start now, I'll fail my exams because it will be to difficult. I'm afraid I'll fail if I continue.
Although I truly believe in the values of the teachings of Christ, I am not religious. For myself I believe I must fight this addiction from within. I think that I have to fight this by learning as much as possible about it, analyse myself, think rationally. I hope there are people with similar experience
I hope to have a normal relationship someday
I do not intend to be arrogant saying that I don't understand this is happening to ME.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story