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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2006 4:03:59 GMT -7
I am hoping to begin a road to coping with my addiction to sex. I am a 39 year old married man with a wonderful family and realize that my addiction will eventually destroy my family and me if I do not start to cope with it.
I do not believe this addiction is one that can be cured but rather is a day to day battle that, with the help of God, family and friends (including this kind of forum) can be fought and won.
My addiction is sex with prostitutes that I can find on various inetenet sites. I have tried using internet filters but have found many ways around the filters.
I am hoping this site will serve as one resource to help me with this battle.
Many thanks to those of you who make this website available and to those who contribute to helping us with our addictions!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2006 8:14:20 GMT -7
Hi SeekingStrength,
It sounds like your wife is not involved in your recovery process?
Do you have any male friend who is helping to hold you accountable? Are you in any type of SA support group, or individual counselling?
You cannot be the administrator of your own accountability software. Someone else must set the controls and be notified when you attempt to reach a forbidden sight.
How old are your kids? You might be able to get your wife to set up a program such as SafeEyes under the pretext of parental controls for the children. If she isn't missing the money for the prostitutes, the nominal annual fee for SafeEyes shouldn't be a problem.
Are you being checked for STD's regularly? That would be an even more tragic consequence of your actions than the damage already done to your marriage.
Where is your faith in all of this? God provides the means of escape, but does not twist our arms to take it. That is our own choice, each and every time.
I pray that God will, indeed, bring from within, and without, the strength for which you are seeking.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2006 8:22:59 GMT -7
Thanks for the response TruthSeeker. My wife is not involved at this point in my recovery process. I know she needs to be and will be. This is obviously an important and big step.
I am not in a support group nor do I have anyone to hold me accountable. I have not spoken to anyone about my struggle. This forum is the first time I have openly admitted to my problem. I am afraid to reach out to someone because of fear of being judged or having my personal matters somehow being leaked out to loved ones and friends before I have had a chance to tell them.
As far as being tested for STDs...no. I do need and am in the process of being tested.
Any suggestions you or anyone has with regards to support groups and/or accountability groups would be appreciated.
As far as faith...well my faith has not been as strong as I know it must be. My relationship with God is important to me and know that it is my faith and love in God that will be the only way I can begin to recover.
Thanks so much for support.
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Post by TimM on Dec 16, 2006 10:25:39 GMT -7
Welcome, SeekingStrength! You ask about support groups. I've found the 12-step approach extremely important in my own recovery. There are a number of similar fellowships started in different places at about the same time that have not yet managed to unite. Places to get info on local, phone, and on-line meetings include saa-recovery.org (Sex Addicts Anonymous) slaafws.org (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) sca-recovery.org (Sexual Compulsives Anonymous) sa.org (Sexaholics Anonymous) The most active on-line meetings seem to me to be those of SLAA; a jumping off point is slaaonline.orgOther people here will probably make different recommendations, and counseling and other activities are important to recovery to many people. For me, though, both the on-line and face-to-face meetings of SAA and SLAA are really a central part of my recovery and of my continuing emotional and spiritual growth. Again, welcome! Tim M. |
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