Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2006 8:23:49 GMT -7
Hi everyone.
This is my very first post. I think this may be a good place for me to begin my journey onto recovery.
I will post in the WOMEN's forum too, but I just wanted to post here first to introduce myself.
I am a christian married woman, and I have a huge problem. I have some form of sexual addiction, one that I cant even begin to understand myself.
I have had strings and strings and strings (and strings and strings) of affairs. Most of them were just physical. I thought it was a very cool that I was able to have physical relationships with men without having any feelings - sorta like a guy can do. I found fun, pleasure, comfort & escapism in this, never caring what it would do to my marriage, my family, my relationship with the Lord.
Well, needless to say I fell deeply for one guy. Its been over 5 years now that I have been involved with him. I am having a really difficult time getting over this guy. To get aid in the process I have continually talked to and met up with other guys, hoping that they would make me forget about him. Breakups are never easy, but when you are married how can you really deal with and grieve a breakup?!
I have been married for a long time and honestly I dont desire my husband at all anymore. Its been years since I have. We have a co-existing sort of relationship. We arent even friends.
I attend church regularly and struggle with this secret sin. I know that I need help but I dont know where to begin. I tried to talk to someone at church who has openly called himself an adulterer. He seemed to want to help me but then backed away after a few conversations. There is no one else at church that I would bring this up to because I would only discuss it with someone that I know would understand.
I am constantly depressed and distraught, angry at myself and emptied of the joy that I know I should posses.
I feel blessed to have found this forum. I pray that God uses it to help me and to help everyone else who is struggling.
This is my very first post. I think this may be a good place for me to begin my journey onto recovery.
I will post in the WOMEN's forum too, but I just wanted to post here first to introduce myself.
I am a christian married woman, and I have a huge problem. I have some form of sexual addiction, one that I cant even begin to understand myself.
I have had strings and strings and strings (and strings and strings) of affairs. Most of them were just physical. I thought it was a very cool that I was able to have physical relationships with men without having any feelings - sorta like a guy can do. I found fun, pleasure, comfort & escapism in this, never caring what it would do to my marriage, my family, my relationship with the Lord.
Well, needless to say I fell deeply for one guy. Its been over 5 years now that I have been involved with him. I am having a really difficult time getting over this guy. To get aid in the process I have continually talked to and met up with other guys, hoping that they would make me forget about him. Breakups are never easy, but when you are married how can you really deal with and grieve a breakup?!
I have been married for a long time and honestly I dont desire my husband at all anymore. Its been years since I have. We have a co-existing sort of relationship. We arent even friends.
I attend church regularly and struggle with this secret sin. I know that I need help but I dont know where to begin. I tried to talk to someone at church who has openly called himself an adulterer. He seemed to want to help me but then backed away after a few conversations. There is no one else at church that I would bring this up to because I would only discuss it with someone that I know would understand.
I am constantly depressed and distraught, angry at myself and emptied of the joy that I know I should posses.
I feel blessed to have found this forum. I pray that God uses it to help me and to help everyone else who is struggling.