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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2006 11:29:54 GMT -7
Sorry for the militant subject, but it's true. After losing the battle for nearly 27 years to this ungodly addiction, my wife asked me to move out...leaving her and my three daughters to fend for themselves. For the first time, I've been confronted with who I have really been. I've not done great everyday since then (it's been a month and a half), but today I read a version of scripture that is fueling my fire for righteousness...
Job 31: 9-12
"Suppose my heart has been tempted by a woman...or suppose I've prowled around my neighbor's door (stalker or peep?)...then may my wife grind another man's grain, and may other men have sex with her. Wanting another woman would have been a shameful thing...a sin that should be judged. It's like a fire that burns down to the grave...it would have caused my crops to be pulled up by the roots."
I can tell you that THIS one has my by the throat and I'm not going to lose anything else to the enemy over this issue. I will win...at any cost.
Militant for righteousness,
Richard
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Post by Steve on Jun 21, 2006 15:10:47 GMT -7
A very passionate posting. I feel it!
Firstly, welcome to the forum. I'd like to hear more about you and where you're at.
- What changes do you think you are needing to make to get free of your addiction?
- What have you done so far?
- What have you been doing differently?
I guess they are all questions of the same stripe. I'm just interested in hearing more of your story and encouraging you any way I can.
All the best,
Steve
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2006 8:17:28 GMT -7
It is wonderful that you have been able to see how truely wretched you have been, but don't stop at realizing what a sinner you are! Look to the cross where Jesus, who led a lust-less life laid down his life for you while you were still in your sins. God sent his perfect son do die for you, even while you looked at porn and masturbated. Take some time to reflect on that fact, it will blow you away.
It is inconceivable, and even ludicrous! God sent his perfect son to die for me, a porn addict? Yet this is the only power that can free you from your addiction. Nothing that you will ever do can free you from this. Not feeling really bad about what you have done. Not getting really angry with the devil. Only the innocent blood of Christ poured out for you on the Cross has the power to break the bonds of sex addiction.
And remember that even if your wife will never forgive you, God looks upon you and forgives you because of the shedding of his son's blood. Remember this also: you have treated God in a similar way that you have treated your wife, yet God sent his perfect son to die for you, so that you might be reconciled to him and given eternal life.
Some one on this forum once very wisely told me to read Romans Chapter 8. I would suggest the same for you. Read it at least once a day, until you are free from your addiction, and keep reading it then too. This is a portion of scripture that all Christians should read over and over again and let sink in, especially those struggling with sexual sins.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2006 11:01:22 GMT -7
Thanks for the advice on that, guys! I've actually been doing an intensive study in the word on God's grace. It is incredible how we read about grace, talk about it, sing, even preach about it...but know very little about God's grace...
Let me add just a small bit from my study...
2 Corinthians 12: Paul discussing his thorn in the flesh (I believe this to be a temptation that he couldn't overcome on his own)
Titus 2:11-15.. Grace teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness
Then, look up the Webster's online dictionary definition of Grace...I think you'll find it very interesting.
Richard
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2006 11:29:56 GMT -7
As I read your inital letter I felt sick to my stomache. Just thinking of my wife with another man, wounds me so deeply. I read Job 31 and my heart sank. I have lusted over and over, and committed adultry in my heart. I have been sober for over a year, but recently separated from my wife. I am doing everything I can to get healthy mentally, physically and spirtually. I hope to work everything out and I am praying for the healing of my wife and the renewing of our marriage. I know what I have done has hurt her so badly. I wish I had known the words of Job 31 when I opened up this pandora's box. I know things sure would have been different.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2006 18:38:01 GMT -7
It is incredible how we read about grace, talk about it, sing, even preach about it...but know very little about God's grace... I know exactly what you mean. This is why it is important that we get a good dose of the Law. Paul says that the Law shows us how sinful we are. When we see how sinful we are, and are reminded of Christ's death to pay for our sins, grace becomes a reality to us, rather than just some "church talk." It has been my own experience and observation that sex addicts are actually quite good at realizing what wretches they are. It seems that this is the case with you. It is good that you realize this, but realizing the extent of your sin cannot save you. The Law cannot justify sinners. It only serves as a mirror to show us how repulsive we are, and our need for a savior. This is what sex addicts need to know: even though they are wretched, rebellious, stubborn sinners Christ Jesus took on their filthiness before they even knew any thing was wrong with them, before they wanted help. I am glad to hear that you are in the Word, there is no better place for you. Remember God's promises when you are tempted. You can take him at his word. When he said that you will not be tempted beyond what you can bare, he meant it. Tell the devil and your self that next time you are tempted. Again, I would suggest you read the 8th chapter of the book of Romans. Some high lights from this portion of Scripture that are especially relevant to sex addicts include:
[*]That there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Your sinful flesh has been condemned in Christ, who took on flesh. Even though what you have done is horrible, God has forgiven you by punishing his perfect son in your place. [/*]
[*]That through the Holy Spirit, the deeds of your sinful flesh are continually put to death. [/*]
[*]That all things work together for good for those who have been called by God. This seems to be true in your case, because you are already being driven to God's word in your time of trouble. Remember this fact, and consider your sex addiction to be a blessing, because you are being driven to God's word and closer to him because of it. [/*]
[*]That you do not know how to pray as you ought to, but that the holy spirit intercedes for you with groanings too deep for words. Even when you are too tired or weak or to horny to fight temptation, the Holy Spirit is interceding before the Father for you. [/*]
[*]That Christ Jesus is at the Right hand of God interceding for you. Again, even though you are to weak to fight temptation, and you are tempted to think, "why do I even bother fighting this?" that even in this moment, Christ is showing the Father his wounded hands and side and asking him to show mercy on you. This is powerful, and was a great comfort to me when I was coming out of my sex addiction. Even though I am to weak to fight, or am loosing the will to fight, or have conceived some fantasy that seems to strong, that even here Jesus is on my side. [/*]
[*]That nothing can separate you from the love of God as expressed in Christ's Death on the cross for your sins.[/*]
[*]That if God is for you, who can be against you? Obviously not the Devil or the world or your own sinful flesh.[/*] Finally, I would give you the same warning that the apostle Paul gave to all of us: if any one thinks he stands, he should take head lest he fall. Peace in Christ, B |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2006 2:26:20 GMT -7
As I read your inital letter I felt sick to my stomache. Just thinking of my wife with another man, wounds me so deeply. I read Job 31 and my heart sank. I have lusted over and over, and committed adultry in my heart. I have been sober for over a year, but recently separated from my wife. I am doing everything I can to get healthy mentally, physically and spirtually. I hope to work everything out and I am praying for the healing of my wife and the renewing of our marriage. I know what I have done has hurt her so badly. I wish I had known the words of Job 31 when I opened up this pandora's box. I know things sure would have been different. 24, don't give up hope. I spoke last night with one of my pastors and he said that I can rest on the fact that it is God's will for restoration in the marriage. He also recommended fasting and prayer. He said that where there is grace from God for me to begin living holy and righteously and overcoming this evil thing, there is also a need for my wife to rely on God's grace to forgive. She says that she wants reconciliation but I'm concerned that someone has put it in her mind that I have to somehow earn back her love...I do understand that I have to earn back her trust, but love is something that we choose to give or withhold.. B, thanks for the encouragement, but though before I was quick to admit I was "scum", now I'm quick to admit that I was an adulterous pornagraphy addict....two totally different things. Any victory or glory in this belongs to Christ alone...I'm only along for the ride at this point. As it says in Titus 2, God's grace is teaching me to say "no" to ungodliness. I'm bouncing my eyes so much I look like I have Tourette's Syndrome!  My willingness to admit what I've been correllates to what God showed me in Genesis when Jacob wrestled with God. He asked God to bless him and God's answer was to ask Jacob his name. Jacob means, "deceiver" and "supplanter"...when Jacob said his name he was admitting who he really was...it was only then that God could change his name and his character. Richard |
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