New here, marrried 51 years and I’m angry! I’m all over the

Dear God, please help this marriage to heal from this pain. In Jesus' name. Amen.


I am like your husband too. My wife is like you. Try to see him, as sick, so you would understand what Jesus said when He said "that the sick need a doctor". Your husband needs Jesus. That is the one and only answer. What does that even look like? I'm 41 and we have been married for 20 years, and I had my issues long before I even met my wife. Age 5 I was involved in my own sexual immorality, hard core porn at adolescence and when my wife first found porn (while a few years into the marriage and pregnant with our first son) she wanted to divorce me. It gets a lot worse.

What finally got me to stop that cycle was a tramatic experience. After trying many things, AA, SA, I told my Pastor and he told me to tell my wife and I did. This time is was beyond porn but massage parlors. She left me, crushed. Taking our three children. My friend took me in, him with his pregnant wife. They were like good samaritans to me. I met with a drug addiction counselor and he told me that I was dead inside and would I want my children to know their father who jerked himself off to hell? I said no. He shared the gospel with me. I read in the Bible that say how Christ was able to raise the dead. I knew I was dead, despite my profession of being a Christian, and raised in the church my entire life. I cried out to the Lord and felt His love for me that day. This was in 2016. I had 4 1/2 years of sexual sobriety. Many might of envied me but I was not sober at all. Just because a man can "not" jack off doesn't mean he is 'sober'. He has to do this.

1. Proverbs 28:13
2. Romans 10:9

and be for real.

He has treated his penis, his worship of female or male body parts as a god. See Romans 1, towards the end when it says "they worshipped and served the creation rather than the Creator"

Now if you go to him saying "Your god is your ****" He is gonna hate you. He is gonna hate you because he knows it's true and the sinful Satanic nature in all of us, will retaliate to find faults for you. He is gonna say things like "if you did this for me, I would not be seeking it else where" which is a lie from hell. I know. why? My wife did ANYTHING I wanted, gave her all to me, YET, I still was not happy with her breasts to seeks the breasts of another, why? I loved, I worshiped at that unholy, Satanic, alter, of a false religion of "my and her body parts". Oh, my love, my body parts. THAT is the truth.

I don't care what anyone else says.

Jesus said "You would know them by their fruits"

My wife was my idol
my women were my idols
my porn were my idols

All I saw was women, body parts, my orgasm, over and over, as the lying porn preaches and teaches their own false message.

Your husband has to know about Jesus and the glorious gospel.

Nothing else is gonna work.

SA will only teach him to "not jack off" and "not watch porn"

Sorry but that is still short of Matthew 5:27-30.

any and all lust is adultery.

Say he gets 10 years of technical sobriety, hoorah hoorah, no NOT hoorah, Jesus was watching in those 10 years to see if there was even a hint of sexual immorality. Was there? Only God knows.

Now, your husband needs SA for a time being, but he must not let that group, secular group tell him to "create a HP (Higher power) because there is only One. His name is Jesus Christ. Hallelujah!

He needs to work the steps, go to the meetings, get a sponsor, that's all good but the issue is our willpower, our heart,

We need to, according to Jesus, be BORN AGAIN.

NO 12 step program can make us born again.

Now here is the lie.

"I am a Christian already but I struggle"

ummm,, really?

The Bible says to test yourself and if we do, the Holy Spirit will convict us of our sins and we will turn from them, and DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FOLLOW AND LOVE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, and in that, the effect is loving you back, with real love, horny for you, being infactuated with your breasts (Proverbs 5-7) says.

When I am not turn everyone women I see into my personal little sex toy (abomination) my wife is super pretty and I want her but not only her but I want her to love me back.

That is his part and God can and will help him, if he is serious, if he takes his salvation seriously.

Not trying to scare you or him or me but I also struggle with assurance of salvation but I also get fed the Word of God.

Ask honestly, honestly, how do I know I am not the ones in Matthew 7:21-23 who call Jesus "Lord, Lord" yet the Lord will say "I never knew you (insert your name here)"

Does that freak you me him out? It does to me.

If he is freaked out? good. Now let the love of God enter in to soothe and feel Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for his sins, to know God is FOR the sinner is great news.

I can't tell you what my wife did to heal, in fact, when I am upset, angry, I allow the enemy satan to once again tempt my wife to lie to her that "Oh dominic is back to it again" because she tells me when I am mad/angry, she thinks it's me "leaving her" which implies I'm with something/someone else"

You are upset and should be
You are hurt and that is normal and natural.

Turn it around now.

If I imagine my wife, in bed with another man, I would be pissed off too

So when we men think like that, we would not want that other immoral women.

many times I made the mistake of "demanding" my wife to forgive me for "that was the Christ-like way" and she only got upset. How dare I? But that was me. Now I don't do that because I know I'm more evil to demand her to forgive me. The Holy Spirit doesn't do that. He is kind and convicts of sins. The devil will misuse and turn the Word of God upside down and pervert it.

Now in Ephesians it says "Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church"

Is is loving to be worshiping a fake immoral women, who is hell-bound?
Is it loving to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ?
is it loving to his wife (you)?
Is it loving to that porn actress who also have her own sins, has a father, and a Heavenly Father who wishes she is not like this?


I can only hope you pray to God for his salvation and /or his walk with the Lord which it is now. God knows. It will be a healing for you.

Everytime he lusts, he is believing a lie of Satan. Does that concern you? I hope you will see him as "sick" so you can pray for his "sickness" not as an excuse but he is deceived by the Satan. I am not trying to make light of this sins, but every man is tempted when he sees flesh. His mind and heart and willpower are all under attack and his faith.

he has to battle and surrender to Jesus saying "No, the Bible says" Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "flee sexual immorality" (Matthew 4).

Also, I am not good and free now but better off.

After porn, I thought I was OK and strong and then started with different forms of sexual immorality so all porn, flirting, whatever else to include emotional affairs, inappropriate contacts must be removed"

new phone number, new emails, saying "no" and "ignore" the enemy.

I hope other Christian women will pray for and comfort you. I hope your husband will talk to a guy, who knows the Lord, and get help. Pride is another killer. Men have pride and can't ask for help. I did for years until I had to ask for help. I still have it too.

Here's the link to the BG wives 10 week course. The cost is only $195.

www.blazinggrace.org/wives-support-group-porn-adultery/