Ok, I'm back now. The other part I wanted to encourage you with is this...
You must know that you are not at fault, even if he says so. It's not true. Even if you yelled at him, everyday, it doesn't mean he has a right to do what he does or say what he says. I feel really bad for hurting wives because they somehow feel like
1. I was not pretty
2. I didn't do what he wanted
3. some other reasons
The analogy that I understand for me this this.
A man gets tired of eating the same food, so he "rationalizes" in his brain, I wonder what... and BAM he falls. It's a poor example, but the point I"m trying to make is this. A man is tempted and has a sick, adulterous heart in himself, and the world tries to program men to look at women and for women to advertise themselves for men, so the "buffet" of "different foods" and "flavors" are presented and he is rationalizing "I need to try this and I need to try that", even if it's just one quick look or one thought, it's that.
Here is how the Bible tells us men to treat our wives.
He is supposed to think of you as his loving deer and pleasant doe, and so am I to think of my wife and so are all husbands to think of his own wife.
God made you just for him. He is supposed to be satisfied with you and only You. God saw fit to give you to him. You are all that is good for him. It's you. There is nothing wrong with you. Please forgiveness my bluntness but even if you are a cancer survivor and have no more breasts, God still said "You are good enough and God planned it this way"
Even if you are 100 years old and he is 100 years old. Old and grey. That is good and good enough. It's the sinful nature that is "never satisfied" and "always wants more and more" which is why we must not ever try to satisfy it. It's impossible.
The reason why people die for heroin overdoses is because they are using more of the substance to give them to same high but their body dies.
Lust is the drug, and porn is like heroin, and the more and more it's used (porn / whatever the sexual misbehavior / sin is), the person tries to satisfy the mind and get a high of dopamine, which never satisfies.
I used to be so addicted and never can stop, watching the sickest, most evil, and was a man on his way to hell, until God got me humbled and I was ready for God.
Today, we read the prodigal son in Luke 15. He lived a wild life, mostly likely with prostitutes, and it did not satisfy him. He came back to God, after "he came to his senses". This what the porn addict needs, to come to his senses, clear minded, sober, for real sexual sobriety to even begin. A knowledge that his sins have offended God and all his family, and his willingness to return to Jesus, and become willing to work as his servant. God restores him back and the lost one is found, the dead man is alive.
Then and only then, he is able to love his wife, looking at her, wanting her again, getting his need met only in marriage, and rejecting all thoughts otherwise.
For your pain, please look only to God for the source of love, hope and healing.
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Isaiah 41:10
I wish he could talk with other men who can help. I wish I could talk with him so I can share my story with him, but I don't know if he would be willing.
Hello Lynn, I'm really sorry to hear this. I want to pray for you and your husband. 
