Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Jan 8, 2022 20:18:17 GMT -7
'I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord , I will sing praise. ' Psalms 101:1
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.1
We can sing to the Lord when something really difficult is on our mind. Here is one song that is simple and you can try it.
God is so good
God is so good
God is so good
He's so good to me
He knows my name
He knows my name
He knows my name
He's so good to me
He's got the whole world ...in His hands
He's got the whole world...in His Hands
He's got the whole world...in His Hands
He's got the whold world...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got the whole world in His Hands
He's got you and me sister...in His Hands
He's got you and me sister..in His Hands
He's got you and me sister...in His Hands
He's got the whole world in His Hands
Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God can not do
Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God can not do
He made the trees, He mades the seas, the stars are His Handiwork tooo.
God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing that our God can no do.
'I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. ' Psalms 101:2
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.2
There is a determination in this. He says "I will". I will put the verses together and put in a short list of "I will" statements
'I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. ' Psalms 101:2-4
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.2-4
I like this example
But am I just trying to teach you the meaning of a word? No, that is not going to profit me for what I am trying to acheive. What I am trying to acheive is a blameless life aiming to please God, which include sexual purity, not lusting at a women, not getting high/intoxicated by her beauty and only being faithful to my wife. That is what I'm personally trying to acheive. What about you? 
Today, I have to make these "I will" statements part of my recovery AND, I know me, I will forget this in a day or two, so returning back to my committment to Jesus Christ, and my marriage vows, I have to keep this in mind to remember it, or else, the inevitable will happen, I will forget, I will repeat, and I will fall, and I will again bruise and hurt my wife emotionally/spiritually with all my relapses (aka Idolatary/Adultery/Sexual Immorality)
Ok, today is January 9th, 2022 - Look a new year God gave, and if you are with me here reading this, a new day too.
Applying this to myself and in the area of sexual immorality, what I am thinking and seeing that this means
When I view a women to lust after her (online/porn/etc), I am looking with 'approval' and this looking with approval (lust after her) is VILE. What is vile.
Vile means
What I am lusting after a women, this adultery in the heart as Jesus Christ taught us in Matthew 5:27-30. Jesus said
Let's put it together
when I am lusting after a women, it is adultery, and will be punished by God, and the one who does will be sent to hell.
Someone might say, "but there is nothing wrong with porn, I need relief, and God put women on earth for me to observe their beauty, and my wife is not there for me, and I am constantly horny, and have had this addiction my whole like, plus all men do it, and you probably do it too, hypocrite, your God is too (something blasphemous they say)."
What do the scripture say?
The perverse heart will try to justify their own sins. I try to justify it, when I watch or view porn. I have to admit now, the hurtful painful truth.
I have a perverse heart
and 
My own perverse heart (the perverse heart of Satan, demons of lust, the sick mental emotions and heart attitutes) shall be far from me. I will have nothing to do it. David is speaking from experience too since he is a man who fell into adultery if you remember, but David repented, but still had hell on earth for his family. Davids family was wrecked. his son raped his sister, his baby died, the husband of Bathsheeba died. He had his own son out to kill him. All of this was rooted from what? The sin with Bathsheeba.
So too, all of our life drama and hell is all tied to our sins, specifically, our sexual sins. The sexual sins are from a perverse heart. The perverse heart is not able to do what is right thus, it will do all kinds of wrong, all other wrongs besides sexual wrongs too. Like this.
Let's break this down to a list for easy reading
All of these and the like are the acts of the flesh, which we know are rooted from a perverse heart. The heart I have. The heart a sex addict also has. Sexual sins are not just what looks like on the surface. Why did I look and lust with another women? Yes, Satan deceived me, but I can't only use this as an excuse before God. I can't tell my wife "I visited a women for sex because Satan tricked me". How would I like if my wife told me "I went to his house for sex, because Satan tricked me" so there is a better explaination and a more honest and truthful one. Jesus explained a truth about light and darkness in John 3. Let's took a look.
So, in the light of my sex addiction, adultery, sexual immorality, why did I really do it? Was it only that Satan tricked me? Jesus said "Light has come into the world". Wait, who is the Light of the World? It's Jesus.
and there is another light of the world, but not the same, but becuse of Jesus living inside a believer, a believer is also called 'light of the world' but not to be the same as Jesus who is the light of the world.
Back to the teaching of Jesus,
people (me) have loved darkness (our sexual sins) instead of light.
If I interpret this correctly, it means to me "I have loved my sexual sins more than God and the believers (who have God living in them), our Christian wifes"
and I interpret that correctoin, it means "When I look at a women with lust, I am loving my sexual sins (darkness) more than God (despite my profession of faith in God), and I am also loving the object(person) of lust (the women I'm lusting after) and I'm hating the Light (Jesus/God) and also having my wife.
Can I admit that?
Can I see that?
I am hating God
I am hating my wife
Is that too hard to admit or see?
Perhaps I want to justify it? I hate it when someone accuses me. I know Satan does that too. I know self-righteous Pharisees can do that too....but looking at the verses only. What conclusion to you have?
What can we tell God?
This is how I have prayed to God once and I pray this.
Dear Heavenly Father, I have hated the Light. I have hated You. You do not want me to practice darkness because it's perverse and vile. Lord, I have hated my wife. You gave her to me but I have hated her and sought comfort and love in other women because my heart loves sexual immorality. Lord, I am a sinner. I don't know how deep and how wicked I really am. Lord, even if the world sees a different picture or mask of me, I know You really know the truth. Lord, even if I can trick and not reveal to my wife, Lord, I am now seeing how I am wicked and how I need true heart change. Lord, will You please help me? I can't change on my own. Lord, I don't want to sin. I know I am going to be tempted until I die. I know I am created to be attracted to women, but Lord, You want me to love my wife and be intoxicated in her love and not lusting after the beauty after another women. Lord, please heal my wife's heart because she is so hurt and broken over my sexual sins and all the pain I caused her. Please Lord, let her be able to recovery from this even if she is not able to trust me ever again. Please help me to see my wife as the most pretty and beautiful women again. The dear wife you gave me. Let me again love all her heart and mind and body again. Let me love her soul again. I want to be reunited again with my wife. Not united spiritually to prostitutes. Please break these chains Jesus my Lord and my God. Please forgive me. I confess that I am a perverse hearted person. Lord, I don't know what label to call myself but I need You to wash and clean me. Lord, I know my heart will again be tempted and want to go back to darkness, please help me to remember Your Words so I will not sin against You. Please help me to walk this straight and narrow path that will lead to You in Paradise one day. Lord, I do not want to be a false believer. I am afraid of being one of the false believers who do not really know You and You tell them to 'depart from you'. Lord, I can't imagine what it will be like to be in hell forever burning and in flames and torment. Lord, I don't just want Your help in order to escape hell, but Lord, who really are You? Please help me to know You. Please do not cast me away. Lord, You said that anyone who comes to You will you in no way cast them away. Lord, I doubt a lot and I want to believe this, please help me believe Your Word. Lord, I have trust issues with You, I admit, I don't know why, but I feel afraid. Please help me Jesus. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
That is all I wanted to write. I am not anyone, but a broken person looking for God and I want to be around brothers and sisters in holy fellowship, not in lust anymore. I hope we can draw closer to God and encourage and pray for each other.
Jesus, please help us heal and be what kind of people You want us to be. In Jesus' name. Amen.
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.1
We can sing to the Lord when something really difficult is on our mind. Here is one song that is simple and you can try it.
God is so good
God is so good
God is so good
He's so good to me
He knows my name
He knows my name
He knows my name
He's so good to me
He's got the whole world ...in His hands
He's got the whole world...in His Hands
He's got the whole world...in His Hands
He's got the whold world...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got you and me brother...in His Hands
He's got the whole world in His Hands
He's got you and me sister...in His Hands
He's got you and me sister..in His Hands
He's got you and me sister...in His Hands
He's got the whole world in His Hands
Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God can not do
Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God can not do
He made the trees, He mades the seas, the stars are His Handiwork tooo.
God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing that our God can no do.
'I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. ' Psalms 101:2
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.2
There is a determination in this. He says "I will". I will put the verses together and put in a short list of "I will" statements
'I will be careful to lead a blameless life— when will you come to me? I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it. The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil. ' Psalms 101:2-4
my.bible.com/bible/111/PSA.101.2-4
- I will be careful to lead a blameless life
- I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart
- I will be careful to lead a blameless life
- I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart
- I will not look with approval on anything that is vile
- I hate what faithless people do
- I will have no part in it
- The perverse heart shall be far from me. I will having nothign to do what is evil
a quality that makes you continue trying to do or achieve something that is difficult
What he lacked in talent he made up for in determination.
dogged/fierce/steely/stubborn determination (link)
dogged/fierce/steely/stubborn determination (link)
Today, I have to make these "I will" statements part of my recovery AND, I know me, I will forget this in a day or two, so returning back to my committment to Jesus Christ, and my marriage vows, I have to keep this in mind to remember it, or else, the inevitable will happen, I will forget, I will repeat, and I will fall, and I will again bruise and hurt my wife emotionally/spiritually with all my relapses (aka Idolatary/Adultery/Sexual Immorality)
Ok, today is January 9th, 2022 - Look a new year God gave, and if you are with me here reading this, a new day too.
I will not look with approval on anything that is vile
I hate what faithless people do
I will have no part in it
The perverse heart shall be far from me. I will having nothign to do what is evil
I hate what faithless people do
I will have no part in it
The perverse heart shall be far from me. I will having nothign to do what is evil
Applying this to myself and in the area of sexual immorality, what I am thinking and seeing that this means
When I view a women to lust after her (online/porn/etc), I am looking with 'approval' and this looking with approval (lust after her) is VILE. What is vile.
Vile means
morally despicable or abhorrent
' “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. ' Matthew 5:27-30 my.bible.com/bible/111/MAT.5.27-30
when I am lusting after a women, it is adultery, and will be punished by God, and the one who does will be sent to hell.
Someone might say, "but there is nothing wrong with porn, I need relief, and God put women on earth for me to observe their beauty, and my wife is not there for me, and I am constantly horny, and have had this addiction my whole like, plus all men do it, and you probably do it too, hypocrite, your God is too (something blasphemous they say)."
What do the scripture say?
I will not look with approval on anything that is vile
I hate what faithless people do
I will have no part in it
The perverse heart shall be far from me. I will having nothing to do what is evil
I hate what faithless people do
I will have no part in it
The perverse heart shall be far from me. I will having nothing to do what is evil
The perverse heart will try to justify their own sins. I try to justify it, when I watch or view porn. I have to admit now, the hurtful painful truth.
I have a perverse heart
and 
My own perverse heart (the perverse heart of Satan, demons of lust, the sick mental emotions and heart attitutes) shall be far from me. I will have nothing to do it. David is speaking from experience too since he is a man who fell into adultery if you remember, but David repented, but still had hell on earth for his family. Davids family was wrecked. his son raped his sister, his baby died, the husband of Bathsheeba died. He had his own son out to kill him. All of this was rooted from what? The sin with Bathsheeba.
So too, all of our life drama and hell is all tied to our sins, specifically, our sexual sins. The sexual sins are from a perverse heart. The perverse heart is not able to do what is right thus, it will do all kinds of wrong, all other wrongs besides sexual wrongs too. Like this.
'The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. ' Galatians 5:19-21
my.bible.com/bible/111/GAL.5.19-21
my.bible.com/bible/111/GAL.5.19-21
Let's break this down to a list for easy reading
- sexual immorality
- impurity
- debauchery
- idolatry
- witchcraft
- hatred
- discord
- jealousy
- fits of rage
- selfish ambition
- dissensions
- factions
- envy
- drukenness
- orgies
- and the like
All of these and the like are the acts of the flesh, which we know are rooted from a perverse heart. The heart I have. The heart a sex addict also has. Sexual sins are not just what looks like on the surface. Why did I look and lust with another women? Yes, Satan deceived me, but I can't only use this as an excuse before God. I can't tell my wife "I visited a women for sex because Satan tricked me". How would I like if my wife told me "I went to his house for sex, because Satan tricked me" so there is a better explaination and a more honest and truthful one. Jesus explained a truth about light and darkness in John 3. Let's took a look.
'This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. ' John 3:19-21 my.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.3.19-21
So, in the light of my sex addiction, adultery, sexual immorality, why did I really do it? Was it only that Satan tricked me? Jesus said "Light has come into the world". Wait, who is the Light of the World? It's Jesus.
While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” John 9:5 NIV my.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.9.5.NIV
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Matthew 5:14 NIV my.bible.com/bible/111/MAT.5.14.NIV
Back to the teaching of Jesus,
"Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil."
people (me) have loved darkness (our sexual sins) instead of light.
If I interpret this correctly, it means to me "I have loved my sexual sins more than God and the believers (who have God living in them), our Christian wifes"
and I interpret that correctoin, it means "When I look at a women with lust, I am loving my sexual sins (darkness) more than God (despite my profession of faith in God), and I am also loving the object(person) of lust (the women I'm lusting after) and I'm hating the Light (Jesus/God) and also having my wife.
Can I admit that?
Can I see that?
I am hating God
I am hating my wife
Is that too hard to admit or see?
Perhaps I want to justify it? I hate it when someone accuses me. I know Satan does that too. I know self-righteous Pharisees can do that too....but looking at the verses only. What conclusion to you have?
'This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. ' John 3:19-21 my.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.3.19-21
What can we tell God?
This is how I have prayed to God once and I pray this.
Dear Heavenly Father, I have hated the Light. I have hated You. You do not want me to practice darkness because it's perverse and vile. Lord, I have hated my wife. You gave her to me but I have hated her and sought comfort and love in other women because my heart loves sexual immorality. Lord, I am a sinner. I don't know how deep and how wicked I really am. Lord, even if the world sees a different picture or mask of me, I know You really know the truth. Lord, even if I can trick and not reveal to my wife, Lord, I am now seeing how I am wicked and how I need true heart change. Lord, will You please help me? I can't change on my own. Lord, I don't want to sin. I know I am going to be tempted until I die. I know I am created to be attracted to women, but Lord, You want me to love my wife and be intoxicated in her love and not lusting after the beauty after another women. Lord, please heal my wife's heart because she is so hurt and broken over my sexual sins and all the pain I caused her. Please Lord, let her be able to recovery from this even if she is not able to trust me ever again. Please help me to see my wife as the most pretty and beautiful women again. The dear wife you gave me. Let me again love all her heart and mind and body again. Let me love her soul again. I want to be reunited again with my wife. Not united spiritually to prostitutes. Please break these chains Jesus my Lord and my God. Please forgive me. I confess that I am a perverse hearted person. Lord, I don't know what label to call myself but I need You to wash and clean me. Lord, I know my heart will again be tempted and want to go back to darkness, please help me to remember Your Words so I will not sin against You. Please help me to walk this straight and narrow path that will lead to You in Paradise one day. Lord, I do not want to be a false believer. I am afraid of being one of the false believers who do not really know You and You tell them to 'depart from you'. Lord, I can't imagine what it will be like to be in hell forever burning and in flames and torment. Lord, I don't just want Your help in order to escape hell, but Lord, who really are You? Please help me to know You. Please do not cast me away. Lord, You said that anyone who comes to You will you in no way cast them away. Lord, I doubt a lot and I want to believe this, please help me believe Your Word. Lord, I have trust issues with You, I admit, I don't know why, but I feel afraid. Please help me Jesus. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
That is all I wanted to write. I am not anyone, but a broken person looking for God and I want to be around brothers and sisters in holy fellowship, not in lust anymore. I hope we can draw closer to God and encourage and pray for each other.
Jesus, please help us heal and be what kind of people You want us to be. In Jesus' name. Amen.