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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2005 2:05:17 GMT -7
Hey there everyone. I found this website after visiting crosswalk.com. I have struggled with sexual addition for as long as I can remember. I am thirtyeight now and have a wife and two great daughters, 6 and 4 mos. I am doing better now but I have been in the darkest place I can think of due to pornography. Sexual addition has definitely been devestating to my relationship with God. When I get caught up in it I tend to try to hide---by not praying---, how wrong can I be. But as a father I know how I might be to my child that continually disregarded my directions on not doing something. How many times can you ask for forgiveness? I oftern wonder how a christian and be a sexual addict. How come it is so hard to tell Satan to leave me alone. Often times I do not feel worthy of his forgiveness because I have thought far too often that "I will not do this again!" I am glad that I found this site. Brothers and Sisters, please pray for me and I will pray for each of you as well.
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Post by mike on Jun 22, 2005 7:12:02 GMT -7
Hi BamaDave -
Welcome - cool handle.
>I often wonder how a christian and be a sexual addict.
The battle with sin starts after we become a Christian, not before (when we were cooperating with it.) The words "Christian sex addict" seem like they can't go together, but we're all in the process of learning to fill our needs with God instead of the counterfeits of life, like sex, food or money.
Did you find this website from the article or the ministry listing ?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2005 7:46:24 GMT -7
I found the site from the article.
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Post by Steve on Jul 5, 2005 9:11:05 GMT -7
Bama Dave,
Here's how I see it: The fact that you are struggling inside with your addiction tells me that the Holy Spirit is indeed doing a work in you. I echo Mike's words to you as well.
I'm a recovering sex addict myself, and so I guess I just want to encourage you that you can get free and stay free! Be encouraged!
-Steve
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2005 5:36:14 GMT -7
Bama Dave, this is PennaBill.
I have the same story, only now my kids are 19, 17, and 15. Despite a "good" life with many blessings, I can say that pornography is the primary factor in my life that has affected all areas, negatively of course. I would go for years without looking at it, but in the last five years with some job trepidation, the Internet, and my wife not living up to my sexual expectations, it has festered. Despite the fact that my wife is an angel, although a scared one.
Pornography wastes your mind, it robs your soul, it takes your money, and it wastes your time. It's definitely the "opportunity cost", you know, 2 hours watching filth instead of 2 hours doing something productive - like reading anything worthwhile.
You can make a change with God's help. Don't let the devil drag you down. It's just like drinking salt water or alcohol, it will destroy you from the inside. You will be a weak-heart in your home, and it will affect the condition of your family. Get a filter for the computer and use it, don't break it jsut because you can.
You've got young kids, so make it a top priority. If you were driving down the street and you started gawking at a pretty woman for more than 5 seconds without keeping your eyes on the road - you're dead. Well, you're a walking dead man now - but you can stop and get on the right path.
I don't understand how as a Christian I let myself get into so much trouble. But it happened. I hope I don't sound harsh. I know from experience you just can't grit your teeth and say "I'm not doing that ever again" (until two weeks later . . . )
Get a game plan, get some of the many books available (Every Man's Battle, The Game Plan, etc.), pray, and meet with other men. 1 out of every 2 men struggle with wrong actions, and I suppose 9 out of 10 with lustful thoughts. So you are not alone.
But you do have a responsibility. You have a wife, 2 precious daughters. Probably your sex life isn't what you want it to be. Well, forget what you want it to be. Learn to know God, and cherish your wife. Sex is more about unity, not physical pleasure. Just think, your wife is someone else's precious child who grew up and married you.
Now, don't go beating yourself up and flailing about what a cad you are - that would only make the devil happier, and drive you into the gutter more ! Forget the past, but don't miss the lessons. Thank God that you are where you are.
By the way, I got hooked when I was a young teen by reading a pornographic book - not pictures. And that's been my "standard" ever since ! But I have reached bottom and am determined to put this behind me.
I responded to this since I see you are at the position I was 10 years ago. Don't walk my path, walk the straight and narrow. God's blessings will amaze you, and, oh, by the way, your sex life will also amaze you. But it won't happen overnight. It also won't happen if you don't start now, turn from this way, and fix your eyes on the Lord.
God Bless.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2005 5:38:27 GMT -7
BamaDave,
it's been a while since your original post, how are you doing? I suppose I should have asked first before getting on my soapbox.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2005 6:07:00 GMT -7
One more thing. I have had a strong need for acceptance, and I looked to my wife for that. While she may have a few hang-ups herself, I'm the one who has put on the pressure. I should be the source of her strength, not the other way around. So, as in so many ways, what I needed I could have simply given, ultimately getting what I needed !
If any of this is making sense, it's simply because so many trod the same path. I surely hope you are doing well and resisting the lure of the devil.
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