Hi
greentree,
This disturbs me to read this.
Now I'm seriously losing hope with him. Before, I've felt he was trying to change. Now, he's just trying to moderate.
He masturbates because he's addicted to porn. Without the online porn, he's brainwashed to continue to need that dopamine hit that the drug provided. In between sessions, his brain will continue to obsess, crave, be irritable, moody, and stressed until the next session. Except the next session won't do as much as the previous one. That's addiction. Masturbation cure stress? Many hold onto that belief. I don't believe that lie anymore. I just made a case above why it actually creates it.
And then he unfairly blames you for his lack of desire for sex. The fact is that he's not craving sex. He's craving porn. And you can't provide him that.
He should be searching for answers and solutions for his problem. Instead, he's making excuses. He's probably given up hope. Anyways, I can't fix him and neither can you. He's got to want to change.
You are not being unsupportive nor asking too much by insisting that he stop masturbating especially since it appears that you are completely willing to be available to him sexually. All he has to do is ask. How hard is that?
Anyways, I'm sorry to hear of the situation you are in. It's not easy. I wouldn't blame you for leaving him. I'd support whatever you choose to do for your own well-being. Please keep us posted and thank you for sharing.
God, please help and guide my sister through her difficult marriage. We ask for a miracle of healing. Please. In Jesus'name. Amen.