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Post by rtist26 on Nov 12, 2019 11:17:44 GMT -7
For married man out there, assuming that your wife knows about your SSA struggle, how do you bring up the issue of porn/lust each time when you have the struggle? I feel that even though my wife knows my struggle, it's still not easy to talk about it each time. Any wisdom in this issue?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2019 7:06:52 GMT -7
For married man out there, assuming that your wife knows about your SSA struggle, how do you bring up the issue of porn/lust each time when you have the struggle? I feel that even though my wife knows my struggle, it's still not easy to talk about it each time. Any wisdom in this issue? Does your wife want to know each time? Have you asked her how involved she wants to be in your overcoming journey? You do need to be open about your sin addiction with your wife but not all wives can handle knowing all the details or every time you stumble. So you need to ask her about how involved she wants to be. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm her. Having an accountability partner other than your wife is also helpful. This forum can act as one of those. |
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Nov 13, 2019 8:30:24 GMT -7
I agree with Amy. Been on a long journey with this. When my wife first found out about my porn issue it was both scary and relieving. Finally out in the open! Thought the spell was broken. How wrong I was. Kept falling. Would tell my wife every time at first. Could tell she was getting frustrated and overwhelmed. Joined a men's group at a local Church for help and accountability. Maybe told her every now and then but mostly was only discussed when she caught me again. And that was not good. Asked her if she would just ask me once a week how I was doing. She didn't want nothing to do with that. Last time she caught me it was bad. But still after things calmed down I asked her once again if I started down the path of looking at porn what would she want me to do? She said just stop. She didn't say tell her, come to her or much else. So I tread lightly. Share with my group and on here. If she asks me directly then I tell her.
Like Amy said you can ask her and go from there. Get a feel on how she reacts. But most wives do not want to know all about it. They just want to know your trying to fight it and being accountable to someone. Hope that helps.
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Post by rtist26 on Nov 13, 2019 13:09:49 GMT -7
For married man out there, assuming that your wife knows about your SSA struggle, how do you bring up the issue of porn/lust each time when you have the struggle? I feel that even though my wife knows my struggle, it's still not easy to talk about it each time. Any wisdom in this issue? Does your wife want to know each time? Have you asked her how involved she wants to be in your overcoming journey? You do need to be open about your sin addiction with your wife but not all wives can handle knowing all the details or every time you stumble. So you need to ask her about how involved she wants to be. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm her. Having an accountability partner other than your wife is also helpful. This forum can act as one of those. Thanks! yes, I'm definitely open to accountability partners. |
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Post by rtist26 on Nov 13, 2019 13:10:35 GMT -7
I agree with Amy. Been on a long journey with this. When my wife first found out about my porn issue it was both scary and relieving. Finally out in the open! Thought the spell was broken. How wrong I was. Kept falling. Would tell my wife every time at first. Could tell she was getting frustrated and overwhelmed. Joined a men's group at a local Church for help and accountability. Maybe told her every now and then but mostly was only discussed when she caught me again. And that was not good. Asked her if she would just ask me once a week how I was doing. She didn't want nothing to do with that. Last time she caught me it was bad. But still after things calmed down I asked her once again if I started down the path of looking at porn what would she want me to do? She said just stop. She didn't say tell her, come to her or much else. So I tread lightly. Share with my group and on here. If she asks me directly then I tell her. Like Amy said you can ask her and go from there. Get a feel on how she reacts. But most wives do not want to know all about it. They just want to know your trying to fight it and being accountable to someone. Hope that helps. Yes, it's not easy (or necessary) to share every single detail, and it does require discernment and wisdom in what/how/when to share. |
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Post by savedbygrace on Nov 14, 2019 5:02:13 GMT -7
Praying for you. Thank you for being here and sharing your struggle.
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Post by rtist26 on Nov 14, 2019 13:16:35 GMT -7
Praying for you. Thank you for being here and sharing your struggle. Thanks bro! |
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Post by Will on Feb 6, 2020 23:05:41 GMT -7
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 26, 2020 20:18:22 GMT -7
Hey rtist26, I noticed you logged in today. How are things? |
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Post by rtist26 on May 5, 2020 12:12:23 GMT -7
@ KevinesKay, thanks for checking. Not much, just stuck at home for the past two months...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2020 23:38:47 GMT -7
For married man out there, assuming that your wife knows about your SSA struggle, how do you bring up the issue of porn/lust each time when you have the struggle? I feel that even though my wife knows my struggle, it's still not easy to talk about it each time. Any wisdom in this issue?
I don't have the same struggle as you but I shared with my wife that I have temptations with lust and pray and read the Bible in the morning. She is praying or me. Ask your wife to pray for you. We need to renew our minds by reading the Bible. Read Romans chapter 1 to see what God says about SSA. (same s-x attractions / homos.xuality). We have all sinned, served other things like idols and it made us fall into more gross sins like SSA. For me, my gross sins are not that but adultery. Why did I fall? I was not reading the word every morning. my relationship was not right with God. I was ignoring God every day. Thought church was boring, until my sin was becoming more and more gross ....leading to adultery. Psalms 51 was David prayer to God when he sinned s.xually by committing adultery with Bathsheeba. It out to be our own heart and prayer too.
Praying for you.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Mar 30, 2022 23:53:39 GMT -7
Hello brother, how are things? Do you have any updates? Well, things are doing ok for me. Just wanted to check in and say hi. I'll write more on my thread later, if you want to write more on your thread, please do, it helps, if you are away, you can write in journal or offline notes and copy and paste later. No pressure. Just we are all trying to help each other. Isolation is bad for us. Blazing Grace Forums are really good for me. I hope you can see this forums as a good ministry tool too. God bless you brother. Jesus Christ is soon returning. Amen.
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