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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2018 17:19:07 GMT -7
I am a recovering sex addict with my biggest area of struggle being lust over women that I see when I am out in public. I am finding it very difficult to be out in large crowds of your women for a couple of reasons. First of all unfortunately my wife has acquired my trigger profile so that women who fit the description of what I have listed over in the past she immediately notices even if I don't. Secondly we can be out and I can do very well with reassuring her and bouncing away from potential targets and then on the way home a jogger can pass in front of our car at a light and I don't immediately react to reassure her and the last encounter becomes the deal breaker for our time out and we end up both upset over the night instead of celebrating a good night out. Any suggestions with how I can support my wife and deal with my fears of not wanting to fail her when we are out?
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Post by ladystrong on Aug 26, 2018 22:10:04 GMT -7
I am a recovering sex addict with my biggest area of struggle being lust over women that I see when I am out in public. I am finding it very difficult to be out in large crowds of your women for a couple of reasons. First of all unfortunately my wife has acquired my trigger profile so that women who fit the description of what I have listed over in the past she immediately notices even if I don't. Secondly we can be out and I can do very well with reassuring her and bouncing away from potential targets and then on the way home a jogger can pass in front of our car at a light and I don't immediately react to reassure her and the last encounter becomes the deal breaker for our time out and we end up both upset over the night instead of celebrating a good night out. Any suggestions with how I can support my wife and deal with my fears of not wanting to fail her when we are out? Hi arctic, I’m writing from a wife’s perspective here, as I am a wife of a “former wayward husband”. It’s been about 1.5 years since my H confessed to his physical adultery, about 2 years since he confessed to having watched P while being married. I can say that I still trigger when someone I perceive as a “threat” is in the area, due to the traumatic events that occurred and the images I saw on his IG account. It takes a lot of time for those images to fade. But, I have triggered less over our healing journey. How long has it been since you and your wife have started on your healing journey together? I ask because if it’s just been recent you’ll have to expect that she will be in trigger mode for awhile. On your end, if you stay consistent in listening to her, acknowledging her fears, and and being honest with your thoughts/feelings, eventually you will gain her trust. Are you both Christians and are you both actively seeking therapy? An outside voice can really help with giving her room to talk about her fears and work through them. I have found that reading scripture and writing them out on 3x5 cards has really helped me to be secure in knowing that God is my Father, I am His child and that my identity is in Him. I have used a lot of tools over the last 1.5 years which have been instrumental in my recovery. I’m not totally healed yet but I’m a lot closer than I was 1.5 years ago. |
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Post by rical on Aug 27, 2018 16:56:26 GMT -7
Voyeurism is my biggest strong hold also. I can’t control what comes into my field of vision but I can control how I react. Not only did God gives me eyes to see but he gave me legs to escape. Daniel 1:8 KJV
[8] But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself
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