Post by ladystrong on Jun 2, 2018 6:18:50 GMT -7
I just started reading, “the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman. He has founded the Seattle Love Lab in which he has been interviewing, observing, and tracking physical symptoms of couples for years. He has a very high success rate at predicting divorce just by listening to and observing couples for fifteen minutes while they are discussing a topic with which they disagree on. I’m going to read through it once and then re-read it after that. Our therapist recommended this book.
Anyway, it’s been an eye opener for me. A lot of new strategies to stay connected to my H and to stop the cycle of contempt. It’s really about a couples’ emotional intelligence, their ability to think well of the other person (positive sentiment override is his term for it), and know how to show by actions that a couple cares and loves one another.
I think this might have some parallels with the “Love and Respect” book by Eggerichs. He doesn’t use biblical principles in this book but so far I feel like he touches upon the start of the “Crazy Cycle” which starts early on in bad marriages and talks about how strong marriages have found a way to stay on an “Energizing Cycle”. I hear a lot of my habits in both the negative and positive examples. In short, we have a lot of transformation to do through the Holy Spirit. It’s going to take time and patience for both of us!
Anyway, it’s been an eye opener for me. A lot of new strategies to stay connected to my H and to stop the cycle of contempt. It’s really about a couples’ emotional intelligence, their ability to think well of the other person (positive sentiment override is his term for it), and know how to show by actions that a couple cares and loves one another.
I think this might have some parallels with the “Love and Respect” book by Eggerichs. He doesn’t use biblical principles in this book but so far I feel like he touches upon the start of the “Crazy Cycle” which starts early on in bad marriages and talks about how strong marriages have found a way to stay on an “Energizing Cycle”. I hear a lot of my habits in both the negative and positive examples. In short, we have a lot of transformation to do through the Holy Spirit. It’s going to take time and patience for both of us!