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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 9:00:08 GMT -7
I am new here and thought this would be a good idea for my recovery. I think I have been a sex addict my entire life. It started with porn and masturbation at a early age and has progressed to meeting people of the same sex for the fix. I am not proud of what I've done in fact quite shameful and hard to write about.
I have been in a relationship for 7 years with my so and struggle daily with the addiction. I was caught again on 2-7-18 cruising Craig's list and using porn. She has caught me several times and after that I can control myself for a while but the monster always comes back. I have been clean since 2-7 and want to stay that way. I'm not looking for miracles and no my journey is going to be filled with UPS and downs, but I really want this monster off my back.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 14:56:54 GMT -7
Hi Dave! Welcome to BG.
The path you have chosen and started to walk is a tough one. You are just getting a glimpse of it. It is worth what you will go through though. Being free of the slavery sin puts us in is wonderful. You will always have to stay vigilant even when this sin has lost its grip. I am almost 10 years sober and it still tries to trip me up once in awhile.
My advice to you is to look around the forums. Since you mentioned same sex attraction, check out that forum. It has some good websites and videos. Next I would highly recommend finding an accountability partner that you can contact regularly. Next thing you might look into is an addiction group and if you are churched and they have a men's group, go. Also keep posting here. It helps sometimes to to have a place you can put your thoughts down anonymously.
I will be praying for you.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 18:19:05 GMT -7
Not attracted to the same sex at all was just stating where this disease led me. I am repulsed by my actions
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 22:43:27 GMT -7
I am sorry. I misunderstood what you posted. I completely understand how this sin can and does lead people into areas they repulsed by in order to get that fix.
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Post by savedbygrace on Feb 13, 2018 6:02:26 GMT -7
Davey, thanks for being here!!! May you find encouragement and hope as we all share this journey together!
"For nothing will be impossible with God." -Luke 1:37
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2018 11:34:04 GMT -7
It's Valentine's day and I'm staying strong. I have not acted out since I was caught last Wednesday. I attended my first slaa meeting last night. I went to them before but never felt welcomed or fit in, the groups were kind of clicky or maybe that was part of the addiction fooling me. Either way I was able to open up and speak at the meeting that was a first for me. I feel that the more I am rebuilding my relationship with God the better things are going for me. I've turned my life back over to him and things are turning around. Staying strong and looking forward to building a better stronger relationship with God.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 6:55:08 GMT -7
Yesterday was a bit of a struggle but with God's help and Grace I came through on top. I had some down time in the morning and the urge to act out was strong. It was as if the devil was in my head compelling me. With some prayer and surrendering to god. With his love and support I feel strong again.
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Post by savedbygrace on Feb 17, 2018 3:33:46 GMT -7
Thanks be to God!! Yes, it can seem overpowering.
With my own sorry record, I know I need lots of Scripture! It is bringing me healing and strength.
That little Scripture song we sing at our church so often - about God being our tower of refuge and strength - so true! That idea is found over and over again in the Psalms. like Psalm 18.
I think the little song is from Prov. 18:10 --- The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2018 22:51:27 GMT -7
Hi Davey, welcome! Sounds like you are doing the right things. In particular letting the Lord Jesus Christ do the heavy lifting and giving it over to Him, praying to Him to get you through a temptation attack clean whenever one is incoming. A couple of other things that have really helped me (apart from regularly posting on this site and keeping accountable on here), have been the testimonies on this channel: www.youtube.com/user/DavidKyleFoster/videos?view=0&sort=da&flow=gridAnd also volunteering at a Christian food Mission. God bless you! In Christ the victory Wil |
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