Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2017 20:52:36 GMT -7
Hello I new to the group. I have been married 10 year to my H who is a PA. Things have been going pretty well past few years. Last 6 months I have known something was up. I confronted him two weeks ago He did not deny Porn use but said a its nomoral use. This is the 4 th time porn has effected our marriage to the point he is emotionally and physically withindrawn. He told me things that had me very concerned his porn use may have gone to next level. Imost of the week I was in tears emotional distressed. I decided it was time to see a counselor. I told him this I was deeply hurt by his PA use. I was seeing a counselor.I felt he needed help to stop. He feels I am over reacting and seemed appualed by my statement.He is now sleeping in the guest room by his choice and has not spoken but a few sentences to me in a week. I am trying to give him space but I can't wrapped my head around this reaction. Any one been this similar thing?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2017 6:31:13 GMT -7
No porn use is acceptable or normal. I am glad you are seeing a counselor. His trying to punish you by sleeping elsewhere may be a good thing for both of you. Sleeping separately is a commonly used boundary consequence. Porn is not just a sin addiction but a matter of brokenness in the person and their relationships...all their relationships. Porn affects everyone close to the person using it...spouses, children, friendships, family, etc.
My first suggestion is to educate yourself about porn. There are many good books and videos suggested on this forum. Next talk to your counselor about confronting your husband in a loving way and setting down boundaries with consequences that will help you feel safe enough to begin to heal. You can't change your husband but you can change yourself and heal the hurt you are experiencing. Only your husband with God's help can change himself. If you have children, I would recommend getting them into counseling also.
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teetop
Member
541-646-4564
Posts: 173 
Occupation: RETIRED
Interests: EVERYTHING CHRISTIAN
Days of Integrity: 0
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Post by teetop on Oct 16, 2017 7:38:04 GMT -7
Welcome to Blazing Grace and sorry to hear about one of your husband's addictions.
And no, our addiction to porn is not normal at the same time I will say that men can be drawn into it quite easily.
And once there, it, like any addiction can be a real struggle to overcome.
And the pain that the spouse goes through, tends to open the doors to sin in us too.
Now you're going to hear all kinds of suggestions as to what you can do and probably should think about.
The question though is it God's will or does your actions go against His revealed word.
Here are a couple links to help you get ahold of this problem in your home.
.Helpful Links.
.Safe Families.
I do hope these help you to work through the problem in your home.
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