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Post by rical on Jun 12, 2017 2:31:23 GMT -7
I'm having trouble accepting that my wife has no interest in enjoying being physically intimate. I've done lots of damage so I know it's my fault. She, like I did before coming here, has given up all hope of having someone to come along side her to help over come the pain that I and others have caused her in the area of pa. She came on GB once but has never been back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2017 4:38:07 GMT -7
I will pray for God to heal her Heart, and for him to give you the patience and wisdom to help her heal.
I have realized that it's going to take some time between my wife and I and I accept that it's her time not mine. All you can do is keep working, keep praying, and keep showing her that you are honest, trustworthy, loving and appreciative. Let her see that God is working in you, and if it's his will you will draw closer to each other again.
Let her know that all you want and need is her and God. And show it with your actions.
It may take weeks, months or years but never give up or get discouraged.
Praying for your marriage.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2017 9:43:15 GMT -7
I am praying for you and your wife rical. Keep praying for her and be sure to court her like you did before you married. Be open and honest with her. Help her without being asked or reminded...that will speak volumes to most women.
I know I really notice and appreciate when my brother helps out around the house without being asked. I also appreciate it when my mom helps out.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 12, 2017 13:23:42 GMT -7
Hi rical, thanks for sharing. This is a great topic.
As sex and porn addicts, we often view sex as a need in a physical sense. But it's not. Sex is important in developing an emotional bond, but not necessary for the sake of physical release. You won't die from lack of sex. But one who doesn't embrace that fact will continue to use that feeling as an excuse to continue destructive acting out behavior. Learning to embrace that idea can be very painful.
Accept the miracle that your wife is not programmed that way. She could live without sex for the rest of her life. What she really desires is love. She'll do anything for that. She thirsts for love in the same manner that we've thirsted for porn. And when she discovers her husband is using porn, all that love disappears. Very painful indeed for her. Don't expect her to get all frisky. What's going on inside of her is a lot different than what's going on inside of you. You can't do with your wife what you think you can do with the porn star.
That's the magic of marriage. Two people demonstrating to each other that their love is stronger than their desire to feel good. In your case, it would appear that both you and your wife can relate to this. But at least you're in reality. Your wife is anticipating you demonstrating that you love her more than you love sex. So love on my friend! Get support from God, from us, from other men. And you will get through this.
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Post by rical on Jun 13, 2017 2:30:29 GMT -7
Hi everyone for your support and understanding. Kevin, it's not so much the sex, she does feel sorry for me from time to time and does take care of me, it's the enjoyment of each other I miss. I missing the "naked and unashamed part of love making. I hard a nice conversation with her last night. We both shared open and honestly where we are at. It's the closest we've felt in a long time
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