I'm having trouble accepting that my wife has no interest in enjoying being physically intimate. I've done lots of damage so I know it's my fault. She, like I did before coming here, has given up all hope of having someone to come along side her to help over come the pain that I and others have caused her in the area of pa. She came on GB once but has never been back.
I will pray for God to heal her Heart, and for him to give you the patience and wisdom to help her heal.
I have realized that it's going to take some time between my wife and I and I accept that it's her time not mine. All you can do is keep working, keep praying, and keep showing her that you are honest, trustworthy, loving and appreciative. Let her see that God is working in you, and if it's his will you will draw closer to each other again. Let her know that all you want and need is her and God. And show it with your actions. It may take weeks, months or years but never give up or get discouraged.
I am praying for you and your wife rical. Keep praying for her and be sure to court her like you did before you married. Be open and honest with her. Help her without being asked or reminded...that will speak volumes to most women.
I know I really notice and appreciate when my brother helps out around the house without being asked. I also appreciate it when my mom helps out.
“The first step on the way to victory is to recognize the enemy.” Corrie ten Boom
Post by KevinesKay on Jun 12, 2017 13:23:42 GMT -7
Hi rical, thanks for sharing. This is a great topic.
As sex and porn addicts, we often view sex as a need in a physical sense. But it's not. Sex is important in developing an emotional bond, but not necessary for the sake of physical release. You won't die from lack of sex. But one who doesn't embrace that fact will continue to use that feeling as an excuse to continue destructive acting out behavior. Learning to embrace that idea can be very painful.
Accept the miracle that your wife is not programmed that way. She could live without sex for the rest of her life. What she really desires is love. She'll do anything for that. She thirsts for love in the same manner that we've thirsted for porn. And when she discovers her husband is using porn, all that love disappears. Very painful indeed for her. Don't expect her to get all frisky. What's going on inside of her is a lot different than what's going on inside of you. You can't do with your wife what you think you can do with the porn star.
That's the magic of marriage. Two people demonstrating to each other that their love is stronger than their desire to feel good. In your case, it would appear that both you and your wife can relate to this. But at least you're in reality. Your wife is anticipating you demonstrating that you love her more than you love sex. So love on my friend! Get support from God, from us, from other men. And you will get through this.
Stop counting the days, and start making them count
Hi everyone for your support and understanding. Kevin, it's not so much the sex, she does feel sorry for me from time to time and does take care of me, it's the enjoyment of each other I miss. I missing the "naked and unashamed part of love making. I hard a nice conversation with her last night. We both shared open and honestly where we are at. It's the closest we've felt in a long time
teetop: A quick note: I probably won't be around for a week or so as we pack and move. Sandy to her sisters and I, homelessness.
Sept 18, 2018 10:03:46 GMT -7
teetop: I'm still reading Mike Genung's book, The Wife's Heart, interesting.
Sept 18, 2018 10:11:55 GMT -7
teetop: The only problem I have with the e-version of his (Mike Genung)books is the inability of writing my notes on the sidelines nor note the specific line number.
Sept 18, 2018 14:49:40 GMT -7
Amymine712: I will be praying for your situation Tee
Sept 18, 2018 17:49:12 GMT -7
teetop: It seems that I have offended many here on Blazing Grace and to that end I am sorry.
Sept 22, 2018 8:39:07 GMT -7
teetop: Both requests have been acted on and I am sorry I've offended anyone here on Blazing Grace. Virgil
Sept 23, 2018 15:13:27 GMT -7
Amymine712: Tee, how are you doing?
Sept 23, 2018 15:15:52 GMT -7
teetop: To answer your question Amy, not so good today. Too many things rearing their ugly head all at once.
Oct 19, 2018 18:54:40 GMT -7
teetop: Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. ]
Oct 19, 2018 19:17:44 GMT -7
ridat: Teach me Your way, ADONAI, that I may walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart to fear Your Name.
Nov 18, 2018 2:09:15 GMT -7
freerein: Wife of an addict here trying to gain wisdom.
Dec 2, 2018 21:58:15 GMT -7
Amymine712: Welcome freerein. I moved your thread to the wife's section so that the wives would be more likely to see it. You are welcome to post everywhere on the forums.
Dec 3, 2018 9:43:46 GMT -7
Will: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 3, 2019 4:57:58 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Thank you for bring the forums back.
Jan 9, 2019 21:07:52 GMT -7
Amymine712: I was surprised that they were down. Mike got them back up! So grateful!
Jan 10, 2019 4:35:27 GMT -7
Will: Yep thanks for bringing the forums back!
Jan 12, 2019 1:27:13 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Praying for us.
Jan 24, 2019 2:37:11 GMT -7
zat: Thank you guys for the approval. I hope to find the sharing platform here.
Jan 30, 2019 10:33:56 GMT -7
Amymine712: You are welcome! Feel free to start a thread and tells us about yourself.
Jan 31, 2019 3:43:48 GMT -7
Dominic M.: how is everyone out there?
Apr 30, 2019 17:14:37 GMT -7