Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 9:16:51 GMT -7
I kicked my husband out of the house last week for fear of the safety of my children. I found not just porn on his computer, but child porn, and that he was planning on getting one way mirrors and hidden cameras etc. - that this thing is coming off the computer and into real life. This has gone on before - my church councilors told me to forgive, treated me like the bad person in this - my husband is hugged, gets phone calls, support groups, is treated like a hero - I am treated like trash, like I am the evil one. I have been isolated, dis-fellow shipped, had my church calling stripped, because I am not being a "good" wife. My church teaches that the traditional place for a woman is in the home - I now work full time, getting to a place where I can leave and support my children, and my work has made everything hard. I scheduled myself for the evenings so the kids would not be alone before all of this escalated - now I have to leave my kids alone with this ass hole at night, and "I" am considered to be the one abandoning my family and being a bad parent etc. He introduced my little son to this ****, and now my son is hooked. My teenage daughter is so insecure and has such a low self-esteem that she will do anything to win her father's love. Only my youngest daughter still seems oblivious to it all, thinking dad is just on a business trip.
Is there advice out there from wives with children? I have no one. He moved me away from my parents/family, there is no one within 500 miles. Between work and taking care of kids I average 4-5 hrs of sleep a night, I have no time for counseling, there are no support groups I can go to because of my work schedule.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 10:45:05 GMT -7
Hugs! I am sorry you are dealing with this. Do you live in the States? It will help us guide you better if we know a general location.
I would suggest finding a supportive church that will take you in and treat you as family first and foremost. Then you need to look into getting your children help. It worries me that he has acted out and you may not be aware of it. Children are good at hiding that sort of thing and they may have buried it so they do not remember. I was one of the latter. The memories didn't start surfacing for me until my dad was out of the house and I felt safe.
Are there any immediate needs that you are worried about...ie food, safety, paying bills? You may be able to limit or bar him from seeing the children if you are able to prove his looking at underage porn and his getting ready to act on it. Did you contact the police to document the porn? Also look into getting protection orders for your children until you can get a more permanent solution. I would also advocate for divorce in this instance. Your children's safety depends on it. In the divorce get child support and limit or bar him having alone time with the children. Hopefully you still have proof of the porn.
I am praying for you hon. Let's get you and your children safe.
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KevinesKay
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Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 9, 2017 10:45:34 GMT -7
Welcome justme. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. Several women here can understand your situation. You've come to a good place.
I commend you for kicking him out of the house. I think you did the best thing for you, your family, and for him. I've seen many men go to jail for what he did. This could have played out so much worse. On that point, I accept that consequences are truly a blessing.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2017 12:26:43 GMT -7
Oh my, what a horrible situation. I can relate to what you said except for the child porn. I know what its like to be looked as as a bad wife because of my husband's mistakes. I pray you find a new church who doesn't prioritize idols (in this case, marriage) over members of the body of Christ. God says we are to run from sin. God bless you.
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