I have found a great reluctance by many Christians online at the various forums I visit to discuss sexual sins of any sort, but most especially lust, pornography, and auto eroticism.
I had a topic I started at another site closed for asking others there whether or not they considered masturbation a sin, and if so (or not) why?
Blazing Grace has been one of a small number of forums I have found that discusses these issues in the manner they need to be addressed.
I'm not sure why many of the other Christians I have met online seem so opposed to these sorts of discussions. How are we to support and care for one another if we can't even bring up these topics? It's really a little ridiculous, as most of us in forums like these are adults (many married, with children). I'm sure we won't be covering ground the majority of us have not already heard about or experienced.
I havent attended an actual church or been a member of a congregation in many years. I worship at home with my family (though we are relocating in 2 weeks, and I noticed a non-denominational church across the street from my new apartment). So I'm not sure how the subject is being dealt with there. Though, if I recall, when I did attend church regularly, I can't remember ever hearing a sermon about fornication, or pre-marital sex, or anything of that nature.
Last Edit: May 16, 2006 16:31:00 GMT -7 by Deleted
It's a little more open where a church has already been forced to deal with a sexual sin issue. You have to understand, and this coming from a 43-year-old woman ... where I was raised, the church I was raised in, etc. the entire culture of church frowned on discussing any sexual related matters. I mean, for heaven's sakes! Good Christian girls don't use the M word! Of course, now that I've been baptized into the trenches, I can blather it out without a 2nd thought. It's always been an uncomfortable topic even when you weren't adding the addiction spin to it. I pray more churches learn it must be dealt with. Perhaps you can be a catalyst when you move.
If you don't mind me asking ... what led you to decide to stop attending church?
I would add that it is precisely because of that 'don't even mention the word sex' attitude that it becomes taboo and a 'forbidden fruit' in our minds, which shapes our perception of sexuality from an early age. I come from a very conservative family in which sexuality was NEVER discussed in any way, shape, or form. I never heard it being discussed in church in any way either. I firmly believe that this is one of the reasons that made my discovery of porn such a strong and unhealthy impact in my life.
I really couldn't say why I stopped attending church. I just stayed home one Sunday, back when I was just starting out in college and never went back. I have never really thought about it much.
Over the years I've rationalized my leaving as some sort of protest against the mamon worshiping pastor I knew as a kid pastor (I don't want to say his name) would call for offering and tithes 5x each service). My family was dirt poor, and the other folks looked down on you when you didn't add something to the collection baskets when they came down the rows. So it used to make me mad when I'd see my parents offer up their tithes and an additional offering, and then have pastor shake them down 3 or 4 more times. It usually meant my dad went to work without lunch that week. Meanwhile, pastor had huge rings on his fingers, a nice new car, $500 dollar suits, and his rent and utilities paid by the church every month.
But our church wasn't the only church in town. I couldn't say why my folks didn't find another church to attend. Maybe because so many of our family worshiped at that particular church, and had been members for so many years.
I do want to go back, however. And am very happy that there is a church so close to my new home. I'm looking forward to that, and sois my family.
Last Edit: May 27, 2006 15:01:00 GMT -7 by Deleted
I dont mean to raise a dead thread here but I think the overall topic in discussion here is important. This taboo attitude is indeed prevelant and I believe it comes out of a well placed desire to protect and safeguard the children and brethren in churches, but the approach taken utilizes the security by obscurity method which often fails rather than security by education (excuse the phraseology here I work in computer and network security). I know my foray into lust and pornography was started in innocense and curiosity and I am sure many people would concur. I believe that an open healthy biblical based approach to educating families (i.e. pastors etc educate parents whom then educate their children) is the best route to go in terms of keeping people pure and morally upright. If people, epsecially children, are taught about sex and relationships in a biblical fashion and shown how wonderfull it was intended to be in the appropriate context of marriage and that it is a physical manifestation of the love you have for your spouse coming after true spiritual and emotional connection, rather than having this impression that sex is just for procreation and that is it otherwise it isnt spoken of or mentioned then I think you will find many less people in the situation and going through the struggles we are now. And in the event that people are in this situation (and there is no denying that sin is and will still drag many down) then they will have grown up and been fostered in an open and caring environment where the effects can be mitigated starting sooner rather than it being hidden out of shame (that is what taboo yields ... taboo subject are considered so shamefull that whne one finds himself in one he doesnt want to even mention it). Openness and transparency has seldom truly hurt anyone while deciet and skeletons in the closet often come out to bite.
I would encourage you SW to go back to church, just do it, it's not about us, it's about worshipping, praising, learning more about, getting closer to our Savior.
God gave Jesus as a gift to mankind, we are not to kick this gift or treat it with disrespect, if you gave someone something you valued very much, you would want that person to treat it with care and not hurt it. Jesus is not to be treated as a "oh i will .. when i feel like it". We are to fear Him and respect and worship Him and give Him our all.
with sincereness of course.
as for the taboo part, i think it's probably because of perversion. Sometimes when we make some comments we don't realize it but others may go "eww" because their brain was in the gutter. Sex is a gift from God, its not something we use to abuse/exploit others. I am not married yet, but I believe that sex within marriage compared to outside is so much more fullfilling (its like fast food compared to the real meal, which one would you pick?). Of course i am still a virgin, lol. Anyway, sex outside of marriage, you have so many things to worry about, so it's not really enjoyable at all.
hope you guys are still there.
praying for you guys
keep clean! fully rely on God! leaning on the everlasting arms