Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 14:40:39 GMT -7
Last Thursday, my husband bought a new phone and simultaneously switched service from his old phone to his new one. Today, I found porn history in Chrome (dated Friday, 1/20) on his old device. Of course he swears he didn't look at it blah blah blah, so I need to be sure about why it showed up on his old phone like this before I tell him to move out, which I had planned to do before I discovered this discrepancy. I don't believe he's not looking at it for one second.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 17:18:14 GMT -7
Ok did the porn show up in his browser history? There are a few reasons porn shows up there and they all involve a person looking for it and clicking on it. Google/Chrome tracks your searches and clicks. So that it can find what you are interested in and finish your sentences for you.
I know after I stopped looking at porn, the browser kept bringing it up but it only showed up in my browser history when I clicked on it. It took a long time of me not searching or looking at porn before the browser caught up and stopped suggesting the links.
If it is in the actual history, then it was clicked on.
I am sorry you are having to take the step of having him move out. That breaks my heart and I know how hard that is for you to do. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs and love coming at you.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 17:55:18 GMT -7
Yes, it is in the history. It's just on a device a day after that device was deactivated. My guess is that his Google account is linked across devices.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 19:42:56 GMT -7
He admitted to looking at porn last week anyway. So, I told him he needs to move out. He left here screaming "I thought you loved me!" I said, "I do. That's why I'm giving you what noone else has: Limits." It sucks, but I'm proud of myself.
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KevinesKay
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Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jan 23, 2017 20:28:28 GMT -7
I don't need a device to be active for me to act out with it. Perhaps he chose to view P on the old device while flashing around the new one that was spotless.
I'm sorry about how things are turning out with your marriage. But I think you made a great choice in letting him go. He would not have gotten the message if you had done nothing. Consequences can be a blessing. Without them, the PA has less incentive to change.
Finding a man that is s*xually stable is very difficult. If one cannot find a man that demonstrates that kind of stability, then she is better off surrendering her privilege to be loved over to the Lord.
Father, please carry Kelly through this difficult time. When she feels lonely, ashamed, ugly, horrible, please lift her spirits up so that she can see things in a better light. Holy Spirit, show her that she is in a good place; that she can be content, and she doesn't have to put up with any pain caused by a PA in her life. She should be proud of her journey of growth. Thank you, Jesus. We pray this in your name. Amen
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 20:46:45 GMT -7
Amen and Amen, Kevin. You said it beautifully! Kelly, I know nothing about phones and history and all that stuff. My husband has my head so messed up with his lies that I doubt anything that I think I know. One thing that I do know for certain, anyone can look at anything on my phone or my computer at anytime and there is never ever porn or anything inappropriate in the history.
Kelly, I am so sorry for the pain that you are feeling ... so sorry.
I pray that you find peace in knowing that you are not in battle alone. God is going before you. You are not alone, sister.
You will not leave my prayers.
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 21:19:38 GMT -7
I am proud of you too Kelly. It took major strength for you to do that. It also took a lot of love for not only your husband but for yourself. I also know the amount of hurt you are experiencing. Big hugs sweet sister.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 7:05:32 GMT -7
Thank you. After he left, he kept texting me "This isn't love, I'm going to freeze because I don't have any money and I will have to stay in my car tonight." I told him to go to his mother's, but that he will be welcome back in my home when he takes initiative and gets himself into treatment and us into couples counseling. I can't do it for him and I will not allow people in my house to view porn or nothe take this seriously. If he stays away, it's his choice. He said he will call Regeneration Ministries at lunch.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 7:09:39 GMT -7
Thank you. After he left, he kept texting me "This isn't love, I'm going to freeze because I don't have any money and I will have to stay in my car tonight." I told him to go to his mother's, but that he will be welcome back in my home when he takes initiative and gets himself into treatment and us into couples counseling. I can't do it for him and I will not allow people in my house to view porn or nothe take this seriously. If he stays away, it's his choice. He said he will call Regeneration Ministries at lunch.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 7:15:22 GMT -7
I pray your husband follows through hon. I am glad you stuck to your guns when he tried to twist things around and blame you last night. Go to God hon. He knows your pain and wants to comfort you. Let Him minister to your heart.
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Post by ladystrong on Jan 24, 2017 13:14:55 GMT -7
Good for you! I hope that he takes the action to change. I pray that you would be able to empower other women in this situation to stand up for purity, honesty, and truth.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 19:15:49 GMT -7
Hey, Kelly, holding you close in prayer. You are my hero!
Grace
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2017 15:59:03 GMT -7
Praise God. My husband contacted Regeneration and is getting set up for it (filling out paperwork, etc.). Also, I found out the phone mystery. The Internet still works on it using WiFi. I never knew that.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2017 18:37:03 GMT -7
I am so glad he is making an effort! Now we need to pray for him even more. Satan will try harder to get your husband to give up and not fight.
Yeah there are always ways around things for an addict. And they will find them if they want a fix.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2017 20:11:49 GMT -7
After 20 + years of being with addicts (nearly 2 of them with this one), I have reached a point where I'm eerily calm about the whole thing. I pray for my husband to follow through with this, and I thank God he has an appointment tomorrow afternoon. That said, I am used to living on my own, and my husband's PA is not welcome here anymore. I'm just done with it.
I don't expect this road to be easy, but my husband knows he is only welcome in my house (thank God I have that chip to play) if he shows initiative here. I don't want to get divorced again, but if God allows that, so be it.
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